I'M A WHAT!
by E.Tphonehome
Summary: A high school art teacher with a secret love of all things lord of the rings, is transported rather rudly to middle earth, thanks to the abject stupidity of two of her students. The fun dosent stop there though,
1. Chapter 1

**Hi this is my first lotr's fic so please encourage me with reviews even if you are going to just tell me it sucks tell me how nicely so I can fix it thanks. **

**Its probably a Mary sue but I am trying desperately to make it a bearable Mary sue so tell me if I stray ok.**

**Disclaimer) I don't own it so don't sue. I just post it here cos I enjoy being ridiculed by complete strangers. **

Hi my name is Alicia, and I have been blackmailed by a number of people to write out my story. For some strange reason they believe that people will actually be interested in reading it. But that is family for you, you can't live with them but if you leave they stalk you. (Got you there Georgia) luckily I have managed to convince a couple of the people it involves closely to write out their parts saving me some work.

Anyway I might as well begin by introducing myself,

As I said my name is Alicia, but I am more commonly called Miss Evans, no I'm not a snob I'm a school teacher English Literature and visual arts to be exact. So I spend my days teaching hormonal teenage girls with over active imaginations how to write and paint.

I am not a very large person being five foot small as my brother puts it and rather slight.

I'm not what you would call willowy slim (what with being hopelessly addicted to chocolate in all its forms and butter shortbread) but I take ballroom dancing and martial arts lessons to work off the inevitable results so most of what little bulk remains is muscle not fat.

I have brown hair, brown, not chestnut, not hazel, not chocolate, or any other romantic name for it just brown and wavy not quite curly and not quite straight and it drives me insane.

I normally cut it short but at the commencement of this story I have been growing it out for two years in expectation of having to do it up at my brothers wedding (kid number 3 and counting and still no wedding) so it's a little past my shoulders.

My eyes however are a bit more interesting, I'm told the color is called hazel but it looks to me like a mixture of different shades of brown I think they are my best feature cos it only takes a little bit of mascara to make them look great.

Anyway I'm rambling so back to important stuff, the story also involves quite closely two rather mad girls from my classes they are in both my art and literature classes Sarah and Rachel Harper the twin terrors.

14 years old and as blonde as they come.

Addicted to lord of the rings and in love with Orlando bloom, to the extent that they each carry around a printed and sighed pact agreeing that if one manages to snag him they promise to share.

There good kids for all that just more than a little mad.

The story really begins one Friday lunch time I am sitting in the staff room reading my autographed copy of lord of the rings trilogy in one book (yes I love lord of the rings too but not to the extent that I write love letters to the cast of the movies and actually SEND them) when I got paged to go to the library urgently, I dumped my book in my bag grabbed the last half of my sandwich and headed downstairs.

When I arrived I was greeted by a very strange sight indeed,

Sarah and Rachel were both waiting for me looking uncharacteristically serious they asked me really nicely if I could do them a favor, it was about then I got suspicious that something was very wrong.

"Please, Please, Please" begged Sarah "Please,"

"We just want you to come with us so we have adult supervision we know it would be stupid to trust a stranger so if you come we'll be safe it'll only take a couple of minutes please?" Begged Rachel.

I sighed and looked at them trying to decide weather to laugh or strangle them then I asked them again just to make sure.

"Let me get this straight, you met a woman in the street, correct?"

Both nodded,

"And she told you she had a way to send you to visit middle earth for a very small fee, correct?"

Nodding again,

"And you organized to meet her during your free period today behind the school, correct?"

Again both nodded in unison

"And you thought it would be safer to take your teacher with you so she couldn't trick you correct?"

And once again the two blondes nodded, it was beginning to get rather eerie.

I pinched the bridge of my nose above my reading glasses (did I mention I wore those ?) and decided that strangling would be the best option but I would leave that pleasure to their parent once I called them and told them what their little treasures had managed to plan.

Finally I looked at the pair and put on my best cranky teacher's voice,

"Do you two have any idea how dangerous what you're doing is"

"You could be killed, kidnapped or gang raped or something equally horrible."

"You are not to go to that meeting and I will be notifying your parents about your dangerous behavior and you had better not try and sneak around because I will check next lesson to make sure you haven't tried anything even more stupid."

At this the pair ran for there lives racing to be the first out of the room.

I sighed again as they left and began to laugh quietly, imagine actually being stupid enough to believe that someone could actually send you to a fictional country, even better believing them when they told you it would be cheap.

I chuckled evilly to myself as I went back to the staff room to collect my bag.

After gathering up the remainder of my lunch and grabbing a chocolate bar from the vending machine in the corner I headed for the back of the school to make sure that my scare tactic had worked on the terrible two. Sometimes those two were really hard to convince that something was a really bad idea.

As I rounded the corner I herd what could only be called chanting coming from a stand of gum trees at the far end of the building.

I was concerned that the two twits had ignored me and might be being used in some cult ritual so I headed straight for it.

As I entered the trees I saw a line on the ground that looked like it was drawn in something suspiciously like blood, it continued in a circle all the way around the group standing in the middle which included inevitably Sarah and Rachel.

The chanting was in a language that I could not understand but it made my flesh creep just to listen to it, the sound was coming from a hooded figure standing in the centre of the circle gesturing at the girls.

I stepped straight into the circle calling their names to get their attention over the chanting, they turned around and when they saw me they grabbed me by my arms shrieking that they were so glad that I decided to come too and thanking me for coming, I immediately asked them if they were insane.

"We are leaving right now and your friend had better hope that that is not blood because I am calling the police as soon as I get to a phone"

Unfortunately it seemed I had arrived just a little too late because at that moment the robed figure reached the crescendo of her chant and the world became fuzzy for a moment before solidifying again.

Only now the trees were wrong and there were a lot more of them, we were in a different place entirely.

For a second I was so frozen with shock that we had actually been transported somewhere else that I didn't realize that the robed figure had started talking again.

I was brought to my senses by Sarah's bloodcurdling shriek and immediately began paying attention again.

"Nooooooo you can't kill us were to young to die"

"You said it would be only a small fee not anything as big as one of our lives!!!"

The girls please fell on deaf ears as the woman laughed at their distress and threw back her hood to reveal her face.

It was disturbing to look at, she was unearthly beautiful but at the same time there was something indefinably filthy about her that made me want to throw up the longer I looked at her.

When she spoke again the girls shut up for the first time in their lives as her voice sent a shudder down my spine.

"_A human life is a small price to pay in my opinion, after all human lives are worth so little it will be no great loss, and you weren't making good use of it any way."_

"_Now decide quickly which one of you two foolish children will survive."_

The two girls were rendered speechless with terror and it took me a moment to fully understand what was happening, when I did I glanced at the two girls huddled together shivering having forgotten entirely that I was there. I couldn't help but pity them even if it was there fault that I was even here.

I stepped forward startling all three of them and answered for them.

"Both of them will you disgusting hag, if you have to take a life take mine I've just about had enough of it anyway"

I had expected her to look smug as she turned to me to collect her price but instead she looked utterly furious as though I had unwittingly thwarted some plan.

I didn't have time to contemplate possibilities as she turned a green light gathered in her hand and she faced me snarling an hurled it at me. I had no time to dodge and the ball of light struck me full in the chest and the world around me faded to black and white. I could see the girl's mouth's moving but I could hear no sound as slowly everything faded out and my vision went black. There was the sensation of falling from a great height. Then for a time there was nothing….


	2. Enter the Elvsies

**Chapter 2:** Enter the elvsies….

**Hello, wow 2 reviews already and it hasn't even been up 24 hours coollies. Anyway I've been told the first chappie was an evil cliffy so I hope this helps.**

**Don't be afraid to review you get a reply and your name mentioned at the bottom of the chappie so you get to be famous, (evil grin)**

**Any way on with the chapter but first here to do the disclaimer my special guests Elladan and Elrohir….**

**Elladan:** _ETphonehome dose not own us or any of Tolkiens characters,_

**Elrohir:** _Thank the valar!!!!_

**Elladan:** _Be nice_

**Elrohir:** _"Growls"_

**On with the story……**

The lord Elladan and his brother Elrohir the twin sons of Lord Elrond of Imladris were scouting in the forest around his home; his father had sent them and their teacher Glorfindel out to search for any sign of the hobbit Frodo who was expected any day. They were both of them intimidating specimens, trained warriors bristling with weapons and any enemy would think twice about attacking the pair as they made a formidable team in battle.

They were not however expecting to hear the sound of feminine screams ringing through the forest a little to the south of where they were riding.

They immediately changed course, heading in the same direction as the sound of screaming.

But the sight that met their eyes as they arrived in a small clearing was far different from anything they had expected.

Lying on the ground was a small female who appeared to be about 19 years of age, she had a delicately shaped face seeming almost elven. She had brown hair to her shoulders and was wearing what appeared to be a soft white shirt and a brightly dyed skirt that reached here ankles, she also appeared to have lost her shoes and she was quite obviously unconscious.

Now while it was not exactly common for the twins to find women unconscious in the forest, it was not the sleeping woman who caused them most confusion.

The truly remarkable sight that caused the pair to freeze in surprise was the pair of identical human girls hunched over her unconscious form shrieking for help and trying to wake her up.

The girls looked to be about 14, with long blonde hair and identical clothes, both wore strange dresses that only came to there knees over long sleeved white shirts, they wore a straw hat edged with a green ribbon on their heads and they both also wore white knee socks and black buckle school shoes.

Both seemed deeply distressed at the condition of the older woman and were so preoccupied with trying to revive her that they had not noticed their approach.

Elladan decided to speak first to announce their presence.

"My lady's what has happened here, is your companion injured?"

The girls gasped and turned towards him in unison and began to speak rapidly,

"Oh please help, Miss Evans said it was a bad idea to meet her but we did it anyway but then she came looking for us and got dragged along too and then Hui'Selde said she wanted one of our lives for bringing us here and we didn't want to die and then Miss Evans said that she could have her life instead and she threw green light at her and she fell and its all our fault and now she's dead and we don't want her to be dead!!!!"

All this was said completely in unison extremely fast and the distraught pair finished by bursting into tears and falling on each others shoulders sobbing.

Elladan was now concerned, from what he had gathered from the girl's garbled speech they had just had an unpleasant encounter with an agent of the dark lord Hui'Selde the dark daughter a she elf he had turned to his side during the last great war, She was rumored to have gained strange powers through her association with the dark and was said to steal the lives of mortals to fuel her spells.

And it would seem that this unfortunate woman had paid the price for the foolishness of these two children.

He shook his head and looked to his brother, Elrohir moved to the body to gather it up to be buried and Elladan went to explain to the girls that there was nothing left to do.

Suddenly he heard an exclamation from his brother's direction, both he and the two girls turned to see what the matter was.

"Elladan, she is alive!!"

"That's impossible; no one survives Hui'Selde's spells!!!"

"I only say what I see and this girl is alive, she has a fever like none I have ever encountered but she breathes still"

He paused suddenly and seemed to look more closely at the young woman and said quietly,

"Elladan this woman is not human, she is an elf!!"

At this the twin girls spoke up,

"That's impossible" said one.

"She's as human as me and my sister, there's no way she's an elf"

Elrohir's voice was firm as he replied,

"Whatever she was she is an elf now and if we don't get her to Adar quickly it will not matter because she will simply be dead."

Elladan nodded decisively,

"You take her on ahead to Adar and I will follow with these two, go quickly every moment may count"

Elrohir nodded back and remounted his horse with the unconscious girl in front of him and started of straight for Imladris at speed.

Elladan turned once again to face the two girls who were huddled together for comfort in the middle of the clearing simply staring up at him.

It was a little unnerving to have those identical faces staring at him waiting for the solutions to all their problems.

He was beginning to understand how his Adar felt sometimes when he and his brother ganged up on him.

Finally he spoke gently to them,

"If you will let me I will place you both on my horse here and lead you to my home where you will be able to have food and rest and learn of the health of your companion."

The energy seemed to have left the girls when Elrohir rode away with their older companion and they were quiet and subdued as he lifted them onto the waiting bay and started towards Imladris.

He made quiet small talk with the children as they walked and managed to learn that their names were Sarah and Rachel and that the name of their companion was Alicia but that they called her Miss Evans because she was one of their many teachers and their favorite.

The topic reminded them of their absent companion and they soon lapsed into silence again in worry for their friend.

Elladan wondered what great lord's daughters they must be to be able to afford a large number of hired teachers.

Both parties were deep in their own thoughts as they entered the gates of Imladris, the girls seemed exhausted from the stress of the day and were almost asleep as Elladan handed them over to a servant to be taken to guest rooms to be put to bed.

After making sure they were cared for he went in search of his brother and father to find out if they had any answers about the mystery woman.

Including how she had managed to change from mortal to elf and survive an attack from Hui'Selde.

It promised to be an interesting night.!!


	3. Floating in stuff!

**Chapter 3: Floating in stuff**

**sooo many reviews,,,, **

**Sooo Many hits,,,, **

**I've had a story on for a year that hasn't got this many, I feel honored. **

**(And popular, grins).**

**And now all the way from Imladris just for us, with the disclaimer for this chapter iiiiiits Elrond. (Clapping)**

**Elrond: **ETphonehome only owns Hui'Selde and Alicia and Sarah and Rachel, the rest belongs to Tolkien.

**ET:** Thank you Elrond For that wonderful disclaimer!!!

**Elrond:** Remind me to sail to Valinor as soon as you let me go.

**ET: **Pouts.

On with the chapter, where all your questions about how the hell she became an elf are answered.

(Alicia's pov)

I don't know how long I floated in a strange kind of soft darkness, I felt weightless but at the same time as if I was wrapped in something soft and warm.

When I finally became aware enough to open my eyes and look around me I found myself floating in a soft grey fog.  
I blinked my eyes a few times trying to make sense of it, as I did the memory came floating to me from the back of my mind that I was supposed to be dead.

I was surprisingly calm about this revelation and wondered idly if the grey place was a kind of limbo where one waited for the tunnel and the light to appear.  
I floated there for a little longer then there was the sensation of drifting downward slowly towards a floor I couldn't see.

I was beginning to become a little more conscious and aware, starting to ask myself a few more intelligent questions about my confusing surroundings and rather naturally beginning to question my grip on reality.

I continued to fall and slowly I became aware of a light growing progressively brighter as I went.  
The thought crossed my mind that I must have gotten turned around to be approaching the light feet first and for some reason I found that particular thought very amusing.  
I giggled softly to myself as I continued to drift downwards and it occurred to me suddenly that if I was dead I would never see my family again, I waited to feel the sadness and grief I expected but instead I felt nothing except a vague regret.

A nagging thought in the back of my mind was suggesting that something must be wrong for me to feel nothing despite being dead but the warm softness wrapped a little tighter around me and the thought was smothered in the fog.

As I floated lower a faintly humanoid form began to take shape in the middle of the light I could see a head and arms and legs but that was about it then I surprised myself even further by remaining perfectly calm as the shape began to speak.

"Welcome child to my home"

The voice was definitely male but it made me think of an uncle rather than of a grandfather figure as I had expected god to sound.

It was at this point that I threw away entirely the theory of being dead; this was nothing like any story about heaven I had ever heard.

After a moment I found my voice and asked a very obvious question.

"Where am I? And why?"

The voice answered sounding rather apologetic,

"You are in a place of waiting; the changes occurring in your form are very painful so you were brought here to wait to spare you the pain"

"You do not realize but you have done a great service for this world, the one who attacked you was called Hui'Selde one of the immortal elves who had betrayed her people for the darkness and the power he could give her."

"However when you gave your life freely to her to save the children with whom the blame truly lay you met the terms of a very old spell placed on her to limit her power"

"The spell stated that should ever an innocent offer their life to pay the dept of another then she must give to the innocent in exchange her own life"

"So you see when you gave up your life willingly for those children she was forced to take on your lifetime as her own and give to you her own immortal life in exchange"

"So she is now mortal and her power is greatly reduced, she will be vulnerable and little threat to the people of this world, and at such a critical time the removal of such a threat may be what tips the balance in the favor of the light"

I was beginning to get a sneaking suspicion as to whom I was talking to and the shock and fear was beginning to penetrate even the pleasant blanket of grey fog that had kept my mind calm to this point.  
I swallowed hard and tried to understand what I had been told, I had accidentally switched lives with an evil witch and in the process I had effectively beaten her and now I was going to be an elf but the change evidently hurt so the Uh, powers that be of this place had put me to sleep so I didn't feel it by way of thanks for removing the bad guy.

"The girls that were with me? Rachel and Sarah?"

"the children are well and under the care of Elrond half Elven as are you at this time, he is a skilled healer in the way of his kind and will take good care of them until you wake."

"It is almost time for you to return, you will not remember much of what you have seen but I must tell you some news that will be hard for you to accept, While we will be able to return the children to their rightful place when the current conflict is finished you will no longer be able to exist in your world and if you do return you will die."

"but you need not trouble yourself with that yet you will be given a choice when it is time to return the children whether to stay in your new world or return to your old world to die."

"But for now sleep, and then wake to yourself and remember nothing"

As the voice spoke the last words the light began to fade away and darkness crept up from behind my eyes and I drifted back into unconsciousness.

I wasn't sure how long I had been out when I woke for the second time; I knew it was the second time because I vaguely remembered waking up in a place where everything was grey for a little while before waking up here.

I became aware of my surroundings slowly, first realizing that I was lying in a soft bed then realizing that I hurt all over.  
All my limbs ached as if I had been beaten all over and my head pounded like the little man behind my eyes was wielding a sledge hammer, and to top it all off my mouth tasted like the cat had crawled in there and had kittens while I was sleeping.  
I also discovered that I was as weak as a kitten, even moving my arms to hold my head took great effort.

I groaned and forced my eyes to open, the room I was in was dim, and glancing around me I realized that this was because someone had covered all the windows with curtains.

The room itself was completely strange to me and I studied it trying to get my bearings.  
The walls seemed to be made of some kind of white stone, the windows were high arches beautifully carved and decorated with cushioned benches in front of them obviously for sitting and admiring the view, there was a table beside the bed with a bowl of water and a jug as well as a number of small bottles and jars which I presumed were medicine.

Suddenly I sat up with a start ignoring the pain it caused in my shoulders and back, Wasn't I supposed to be dead?

I distinctly remembered being hit with a ball of light that 'HURT' and loosing consciousness. I threw back the blankets and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, I glanced around and located the door on the opposite side of the room and pushed myself off the bed intending to walk across the room to it.

But it was then that I discovered another side effect of whatever had made me feel like I'd been hit by a Mack truck, I couldn't seem to walk.

**A gargantuan thank you to all my reviewers:**

**1****EVIL MANIAC**

**2) childofthekng**

**3) Lady Laughter**

**4) CapriceAnne Heidican-Kokur (your pen name is to long)**

**5) Katleaf**

**6) elf angel**

**7) XxRupertgrintloverxX**

**8) Drunken Landlord**

**9) Sea Star**

**10)Tortall Princess**

**You are all great**


	4. I'M A WHAT!

**Chapter 4: I'M A WHAT????**

**All reviewers have expressed the desire that the chapters be longer, so I have decided to start waiting till I have 2 chapters written to post them and to post them together as one.**

**This means that chapters will take a little longer but don't despair they will come.**

**Disclaimer: I never said I owned it so you can't sue me so ner ne ner ne ner ner (pokes out tongue and blows raspberry's at lawyers)**

The floor came rushing up to meet me startlingly quickly and I landed flat on my face with a resounding thud, adding a few more bruises to my collection of aches and pains.  
The noise must have alerted someone to the fact that I was awake because I heard the door open immediately and the sound of soft footsteps crossing the room. I kept my eyes closed as I felt gentle hands lift me back onto the bed and cover me with the blankets.

I heard the rustle of cloth as the person turned to leave the room and I opened my eyes.

The person I saw was very unlike anything I expected, He, because he was most definitely male had long blonde hair that seemed to shine even in the dark. It was pulled back from his face and behind his ears with a number of small braids, if the hair was not strange enough the ears it revealed rose to delicate points, then there was his eyes which were the most startling green I have ever seen.

But even all this was not the most eye catching thing about him; what really caught my attention was the fact that he was huge. Now I know what you're thinking, a tiny person thinks anyone half a foot taller than her is huge.

Wrongo; I have an older brother who is six and a half foot and numerous uncles and cousins who are even taller. This man/elf / person was seven foot if he was an inch and broad, not bulky but large in proportion to his height, he was the largest person I had ever seen.  
His massive size was completely at odds with how gently he had lifted me only moments ago, I could only stare for a moment and he seemed equally stunned to find me conscious.

I tried to speak to ask where I was but all that came out was a dry croak, it was then I realized that I was desperately thirsty.  
The tall fellow seemed to realize immediately what the problem was and went straight to the water jug and glass on the bedside table and poured a small amount of water into it and brought it over to me, all the while talking quietly in a soothing voice in a language I could not understand.

He used one hand to hold me in a sitting position and with the other held the glass to my lips so I could drink. After drinking two glasses of water this way I considered myself able to talk and once again opened my mouth to speak.

'Where am I?' I managed to croak out.  
Even after the water it felt like someone had rubbed the inside of my throat with sandpaper.  
He looked startled that I had spoken but answered readily enough,

'You are in Imladris my lady, the domain of Lord Elrond half Elven, in the healing wing to be precise'

'Oh,' I answered,

I know it wasn't very eloquent but I had just been told that I was in a fictional place by a member of a fictional race after being brought here by a woman who could throw light who when I last checked was supposed to have killed me. The next question came out a little easier,

'And, who are you?' my vocal chords must have begun warming up, but my voice still had an unmistakable quaver to it that betrayed my nervousness.

His answer was very gentle and his face kind,

'My name is Glorfindel my lady I am advisor to lord Elrond and he has asked me to watch over you while you slept and to inform him when you woke for you have been very ill.'

'I must leave you now and tell the healers that you have awoken they will be able to give you something for the pain.' I nodded and he turned to leave when suddenly I remembered the twins.

'Wait!!' Glorfindel turned with a questioning look,

'What about the girls that were with me, the twin girls what happened to them?'

He smiled before replying and I was immediately relived,

'the girls are quite safe, they are in the care of lord Elrond's sons The lord's Elladan and Elrohir and his daughter the lady Arwen,' he grinned a little wider,

'they were quite subdued for the time when we were unsure of your survival but since the healers assured them that you would live they have been quite a handful,'

I swear that no living being has a right to be able to grin that wickedly without looking the least bit evil. He left me chuckling to myself about the twins antics and went to fetch the mysterious healers.

I must have dozed for a while because it seemed only moments before I herd the door open again and this time a number of sets of feet entered the room.  
I opened my eyes and glanced around me again, there were 3 new people in the room making it seem rather crowded. Glorfindel stood to the back of the group near the door, nearest to the bed stood a tall man, not enormous but tall enough to be impressive. He had long black hair and cool grey eyes with a sparkle to them that reminded me forcibly of my little sister who was simply excitement waiting for a place to happen.

The other two were identical elves, there was no other word for it, they wore identical clothes their hair were identical lengths their height was identical and they both had the same sparkling blue eyes, at the risk of sounding repetitive they reminded me very much of my younger brother, only taller, their faces even serious radiated a sense of poorly restrained potential for enormous mischief. They were a little taller than the man but not nearly as imposing as Glorfindel.

I was startled out of my musings when the man started to speak, and I started paying attention again rather quickly.

He told me his name was Estel, or Aragorn whichever I chose to address him as, my heart sank as I realized that not only had we been transported to Middle Earth but we had been transported there before the war of the ring!! I hoped I could get my hands on the twins before they said something to screw up the entire story.  
I suddenly realized they were waiting for me to answer and remembered that Aragorn had just asked me my name, I blinked and fought the irrational compulsion to scream "**Mary** **Sue"** and answered.

'My name is Alicia, Didn't the girls tell you?' I asked in some confusion.

He grinned a bit smugly and glanced meaningfully in the direction of the twins who wore identical long suffering looks,

'The girls as you call them have changed their names five times since arriving and have also given you a number of' he paused with another grin then continued

'Interesting,,, names during your illness and we were hoping you could clarify for us which are their true names.'

I smothered my own grin and tried to look serious as I replied.

'The slightly taller one is called Rachel and the one who refuses to eat meat is Sarah,' I glanced over at the twins and had to smile,

'You are Elladan and Elrohir aren't you?' I asked them, they nodded with a slightly puzzled look,

'I'm told you are the unfortunates who have to take care of the terrible two I was found with.' Their twin looks of remembered horror were priceless.

'Would you like to know a few tricks to keep them from running wild?' The desperate hope that lit up their features made Aragorn laugh outright and Glorfindel cracked another grin.

'Lady anything you could tell us would be a gift from the Valar, those two are out of control not even Arwen can cope alone with them for very, long they are driving us to distraction'  
I couldn't help but laugh a little at their desperation, then I proceeded to explain some of the simple threats that I had found most effective in dealing with the twins.

'First of all threaten to confiscate all hair brushes, they are very vain and the prospect of not being able to brush their hair at every opportunity horrifies them, you can also threaten to make them take history lessons or lessons on some equally dry and dusty topic which requires them to be cooped up in one room for long periods of time,'

I thought for a few moments considering which threats could carry over to this world, I could hardly threaten to call their parents or give them an afternoon detention. Then inspiration struck.

'They are both horribly afraid of spiders, not the really dangerous ones either, even tiny harmless ones send them into hysterics, all you have to do is threaten to fill their beds with spiders and they will do anything you want.'

I finished with a wicked grin and saw it mirrored in their faces as they contemplated using their new ammunition against their troublesome charges.

Once they had left Aragorn cleared his throat to get my attention again,

'Lady Alicia, I must ask you do you know who it was that attacked you?

My reply was immediate,

'I have no idea, I only saw her after we got here just before she threw the light at me and I blacked out. The girls met her in the street and she told them she could transport them to a strange land for an adventure for a small fee, being the idiots that they are they didn't think to ask what the fee would be before she transported us away and it was too late'

'How did it come about that you were with them when she only made the bargain with them?'

I laughed, 'They actually had a small moment of sanity and asked me to go with them to keep them company, I refused and told them not to go and that I would go to the meeting place they had set up to stop them if they did try to go, only I got there too late and we were transported before I could get them out of the circle. When we arrived she named her price,' I sighed

'I couldn't just stand there and let her kill a child, so I told her to take my life as payment instead, then she threw green light at me and I blacked out, after that you know as much as I do.'

I glanced at the pair of them and noticed that they both looked more than a little puzzled at my reply and sat in silent thought for a few moments before continuing.

It could have been my imagination but it occurred to me that Aragorn looked a little apprehensive and he seemed to be having trouble deciding what to say next, I solved his problem by asking a couple of questions of my own.

'How long have I been asleep?'

'You have been either unconscious or delirious for almost two weeks; we were worried for a time that you would never wake again'

'What was it that she did to me that made me so ill?'

He seemed reluctant to answer that question and looked away from me for a moment; I glanced over at Glorfindel and found that he wouldn't meet my eyes either. I finally grew tired of waiting,

'Well,' I demanded angrily

'What did she do to me?'

They both shifted uncomfortably and tried not to make eye contact, finally Aragorn seemed to find enough backbone to meet my eyes, but even their reluctance to speak didn't prepare me for what he was about to say.

'Lady we do not know how or why but whatever spell was cast on you by Hui'Selde has caused something unheard of to happen, When you left your home with the girls you were human but you have been changed by her magic into an Elf.'

I sat completely still for a moment trying to comprehend what had just been said, I looked at both of their faces hoping to find something to tell me that they were joking but found that they both wore expressions of anxious concern, waiting for my reaction.

I opened my mouth a number of times trying to make some kind of reply but I couldn't seem to make my throat to work properly. When I finally managed to form a reply it came out more like a kind of horrified squawk that I couldn't quite recognize as coming from my mouth, and looking back it wasn't a hugely intelligent thing to say but at the time it seemed quite appropriate.

'**I'M A WHAT'**

**Thank you to all of the people who reviewed chapter 3**

**lothirielsilimaure (2) childofthekng (3) Onhiro (4) Manson (5) Air Element (6) Nelarun (7)Rauna Quill (8) Cookies R Yummy**

**You are all great 23 reviews so far so keep e'm coming and I'll write a request chapter to the person who makes the 50****th**** review. **

**Nothing but love to all y'all, till next chappie (in Glorfy POV, what was he doing outside her room anyway?)**


	5. She did What?

**Chapter 5: She did WHAT?????**

**Welcome back my pretties were on review number 37 now remember that the 50****th**** review gets a request chapter to have their wicked way with my characters so keep the reviews coming.**

**By the way I've been exploring my reviewer's lookups and on one of them I found a Harry potter lotr's crossover with the coolest quote, I forget who but I screamed laughing.**

**Fred: Mum's gonna have kittens!"**

**George: "Big, carnivorous kittens,"**

**A classic in the making, all credit to whoever wrote it I forget who it was but I take no credit. **

**Disclaimer: **

**Glorfindel: 'The characters Alicia, Rachel, Sarah and Hui'Selde belong to ETphonehome anyone attempting to use them without her permission will have to answer to me! Tolkien owns the rest.'**

**ETphonehome: Isn't he just the sweetest boy **

**On with the chapter……..**

**Glorfindel's POV:**

Greetings readers this is an account of the arrival and life of the one called Lady Alicia. I am called Lord Glorfindel and I have been asked to write down my own account of the arrival of the gentle lady and my views on her time here as I was one of the first to spend time with her. Here follows my account (in part) of her time here from the time of my return to Imladris with the Ring barer.

When I first arrived it was my first thought to find Lord Elrond for the Halfling Frodo's injury was grave and he was in dire need of the lords' healing skills. I found him already in the Infirmary after passing a crowd of excitedly chattering healers.  
The news they gossiped about was so shocking I paused in my task to listen; they said that one of the twins had retuned from their scouting yesterday evening with a sick girl and had taken her straight to his father.

No one had seen her so no one knew what she looked like but the second twin had arrived some time later with two young human children, twin girls with long blonde hair and scared blue eyes with the most fantastic story.  
He had told them that the girls had been the intended victims of the traitor Hui'Selde but had been rescued by the girl who had been brought back before; she had managed to survive the killing spell cast at her but was deathly ill.  
The two girls had immediately been bundled of by the housekeeper to eat and to bed and the house had been in an uproar since in nervous anticipation for news of the strange girl.

Now deeply curios I continued on to the room I was told Lord Elrond was working in, I met him making his way down the hall towards the main house.  
When he saw who I was carrying he immediately led me to a room and told me to lay the hobbit down on the bed, he then told me to go and recover from my journey and then return to speak to him.

After bathing and eating I lay down to rest, the next morning I went in search of my old friend Elrond, only to be told that he was still in the infirmary tending to Frodo.  
Concerned I headed for the infirmary; I met Elrond in the corridor as he was leaving the Halflings room. He looked tired and drawn; as well he might after two full days spent healing terrible injuries. It took him a moment to notice me then he smiled tiredly and greeted me warmly asking after my horse and ensuring I had taken no injury from my encounter with the Nasgule.  
I waited patiently and after a few more minutes of aimless chatter he finally got to the point.

'You have no doubt herd of my new mystery patient?' he asked quietly, I nodded and he continued

'It may seem strange to you that I have kept it so secret but there is a very good reason, You see it was the young twins that encountered Hui'Selde and became were tricked into taking a favor from her putting themselves in her debt. However an older human woman became aware of their bargain and interfered ordering the traitor to take her life in payment of the younger girl's debt, for some reason that I don't understand Hui'selde accepted the substitute and cast the death spell on the older woman instead.'

He glanced at me to be sure that he had my attention and once again continued.

'That my friend is when this story passes out of my understanding completely, the woman for some reason has not only survived the killing spell but she has changed'

I looked at him questioningly,

'Changed???' I asked incredulously,

'She has changed her form completely to that of a young Elleth' Elrond's voice spoke clearly of his frustration at his lack of knowledge and the shock that mirrored my own. 'My lord that is unheard of, a human cannot simply become an elf the Valar would not permit it' Lord Elrond sighed and shook his head and his voice was even again when he spoke.

'They have permitted it this time for whatever reason and we will make her welcome among us, she clearly deserves great respect if she has the courage to stand against a creature such as Hui'selde unarmed and offer her life freely'

I nodded silently as I tried to understand properly what it would be like to be a human and then be changed into an elf. After a short silence Elrond spoke again

'I need your help in this my friend, the twins have been given care of the young twins as they are comfortable with them and I must prepare for the upcoming council, but there must be someone with the girl at all times in case there is some change in her condition' He glanced up at me meaningfully as he said this last and I stared in shock,

'My lord I have no skill as a healer I would not know what to look for' He nodded in agreement to my comment but in such a way that made it clear that he had already thought of a solution to that problem.

'My son Estelle will assist you for the first two days and show you what you must do then he will be attending the council and I fear he will be a part of whatever is decided' There was nothing I could say to ease my friends pain since he would not tell me what he had foreseen that caused his sadness so instead I answered simply,

'I will do whatever is necessary my lord, when did you wish me to begin?' He stopped at a door in the hall and faced me, he attempted a smirk but spoiled it by yawning,

'You can begin right away; Estelle is with her now and will show you what needs to be done to keep her comfortable, I am going to rest so I do not fall asleep during the dwarves speeches' and with a tired grin he was gone.

I knocked gently on the door in front of me before entering; Estelle looked up at from his position sitting on a small stool beside the bed where the girl was lying.  
She was not at all what I had expected; I had pictured in my mind a heroic warrior maid, radiating strength, someone with the presence to stand against evil creatures. Instead what I saw was I tiny Elleth probably not much larger than a Halfling I thought, who looked like she could not have seen more than twenty summers. With her dark hair plastered to her forehead and shoulders with sweat and her small fine boned face pale and beaded with sweat and twisted with pain. Her hands clenched and unclenched spasmodically on the sheets and she seemed to be constantly trying to twist away from some unseen torment. Occasionally she released a pained whimper her but no other sound escaped her.  
Estelle reached into a bowl of water on the table beside him and brought out a wet cloth and began to gently wipe her head and neck to cool her. He spoke quietly to me as though he was afraid to disturb her torment,

'She has been like this since she arrived' Adar says that if we cannot bring her fever down in the next two days it is likely that she will die'

He glanced up at me again,

'There is another cloth in the bowl, get it and use it to cool her wrists and arms, we must keep her as cool as possible, if the fever dose not break by morning we will have to try sweating it out'

I nodded in deference to his knowledge in this matter; while I am able to dress minor wounds during battle I have no real skill in healing. I followed Estelle's instructions carefully, gently wiping her arms and wrists and I could not help but wonder at how this tiny creature had managed to stand against such an evil as Hui'Selde, her hands were dwarfed by my own and I could easily circle her wrist with the two smallest fingers on my hand.

At last towards midnight the tension seemed to drain out of her as her whole body finally relaxed, her face lost the lines of pain and she fell into a deep natural sleep.  
Estelle was very pleased at our success but he was exhausted so I sent him to rest assuring him that I would call him if her condition changed in any way. When he was gone I cleared away the cloths and medicines onto the table beside the bed and fetched clean water for the jug on the nightstand. Then I sat on a convenient chair and relaxed into a light doze keeping my senses alert for any change in her condition.  
She slept peacefully until midday the next day when she began to toss and turn and the fever returned once again in full measure. It continued like this for six more days in a strange cycle, first would come the sweating fever, then she would become delirious for some hours then she would relax into seemingly deep healing sleep only to begin again some hours later. It was exhausting and frustrating; at one point she began ranting in a completely strange language and did not stop for a whole hour.

Estelle attended the council as he had planned, the fellowship tasked with the destruction of the one ring was chosen and scouts were sent out to find the safest path, and myself and the others waited impatiently for an end to the torment of waiting. At last she fell into a deep sleep and we all waited tensely for the next bout of fever to begin, when after two whole days it had not reoccurred Lord Elrond declared her to be recovering and left me as her sole carer while Estelle prepared for the quest he was about to undertake.

The next three days were interesting to say the least, the young twins who had been subdued while the danger of their friends' death still hung over them; became incredibly exuberant at the news of her imminent recovery. The twins were soon at their wits end as to how to manage them; they ran rampant through Imladris shrieking and laughing, mangling the names of the visitors and infuriating the cooks by sneaking into the kitchens at all hours of the night for snacks.  
The lady Arwen attempted to help her brothers but had only limited success, the girls seemed to obey her while she was watching them but as soon as her back was turned they went back to their tricks.  
On the third day at around midday as I was returning to her room I herd a loud thump come from her room, I rushed forward and looked in and was horrified to find her lying on the floor. I assumed that the fever had returned while I had been gone and her tossing had caused her to fall out of bed. I lifted her as gently as I could back onto the bed and covered her once again, she was frighteningly still but her chest still rose and fell reassuring me that she was still alive. I glanced once more at her before I left to fetch Estelle or Lord Elrond and I froze with shock as I met the startlingly calm regard of a pair of soft brown eyes.

I could not believe that she was actually awake, I stood frozen staring at her, she seemed equally startled to see me but surprisingly she did not seem nervous. She seemed to realize that she was staring and a look of concentration passed over her face, she opened her mouth obviously trying to speak but only a dry croak came out.   
I came to my senses with a start realizing that she had not had anything to drink the entire time she had been ill and must be terribly thirsty. As I moved to the table to get her some water I noticed that she seemed to be having trouble moving, as though it was a great effort to move and to do so at all caused her pain. I held her upright while she drank two glasses then she attempted to speak again, asking where she was and who I was.

I was about to leave to fetch Estelle when she called me back asking after the twin girls. She seemed amused to hear of the difficulty Elladan and Elrohir were having with them and was satisfied to be reassured that they were being well cared for.

I found Estelle cornered by the Elven twins; they were trying to convince him to take over care of the girls without much success. When they herd that the lady had awoken they insisted on accompanying Estelle and I back to meet the woman who could manage the 'terrors' as they affectionately called them.  
When we entered the room I was afraid for a moment that she had gone back to sleep but she seemed to hear us all moving into the room and opened her eyes again.  
I stood away from the bed and watched her as Estelle asked her name and smiled when the twins thanked her effusively for her advice on how to tame the terrors. I then watched her deepening distress as Estelle first hedged around and then stated outright the change that had been worked on her. As she lay there speechless in confusion after her initial outburst I felt an irrational urge to hold and comfort her like the elfling she resembled, I suppressed it reasoning that having been a grown human she would not appreciate being treated like a child.  
Estelle seemed at a loss for what to say next so I interrupted gently with what I hoped would be an acceptable distraction.  
'Perhaps you would like to see the girls before you rest again?'

**Pretty good length if I do say so myself, not that I'm getting a swelled head or anything ******

**And now to drop names, thank you , Katleaf, Almenel, RB and DJ, Onhiro, Xxrupert-grint-loverxX, Cookies-R-Yummy, Jenn, lothirielsilinaure, EVIL MANIAC, Celegorm, childofthekng, Manson, and CapriceAnne Hedican-Kocur**

**You are all great and I want to hear from you all after this chapter too OK coolies ;)**


	6. Oh crap I'm NEVER gona die!

**Chapter 5: Oh crap I'm NEVER gona die!!**

**Hi everybody sorry for the wait but there are only two computers in the house with internet access and 5 teenage kids as well as my dad running his home business and my mum who is bed bound recovering from surgery who is also doing a UNI course over the internet. So I'm lucky to get my computer for two days in a row.**

**Anyway I hope you all like this chapie it's the longest so far, six whole pages. **

**I feel so proud of myself; don't forget to review cos the 50****th**** review gets that request chapter.******

**Disclaimer: The voices in my head tell me that I don't own the Lord of the Rings, (pouts) but I do own my candy bar so that makes it all better (grins maniacally). **

**On with the chappie…..**

I was pathetically grateful for the distraction Glorfindel offered when he suggested that I might want to speak to the girls. I agreed enthusiastically and managed to maintain my mask of pleased distraction until they had both left the room.

As the door closed behind them I was once again alone in my room my thoughts immediately flew back to what I had just been told.

I was now an Elf; I would be able to walk without sound (when I was able to walk again)

I would not be bothered by extremes of heat or cold, I would glow in the dark, and then there was the little detail that my mind had been shying away from.

I would be immortal.

I would stay as all around me my parents, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends would all grow old and die.

I would outlive them, and their children, and their children's children. It was painful even to think about, having to watch everyone I cared about growing and changing and eventually moving on to death leaving me trapped eternally young and unable to follow, watching the world gradually fall into decay around me.

Then there was the question of what the government would do if it ever got its hands on me.

I stopped that particular thought as soon as it started, it was something to be worried about if we ever found a way to get home.

I was startled out of my session of wallowing in self pity by the explosive arrival of the twins responsible for the whole mess.

They burst through the door squealing with delight and immediately piled onto the bed. They then proceeded to tell me exactly what they had been up to while I had been asleep.

Evidently Lord Erestor had banned them from the library for using his parchment to make paper planes.

They had very nearly been killed by Legolas when they ran out in front of him while he was practicing archery.

And it was only by convincing the dwarves that they were mentally ill and had come to Imladris for healing that Elladan and Elrohir were able to prevent their deaths once again when they called the dwarves hairy and smelly within their hearing.

I gave them a very stern lecture about manners at that point and made them promise to behave better in the future. They seemed genuinely apologetic and promised at least to try to behave so I let it go at that.

I then took the opportunity to warn them not to mention what they knew from the movies or the books or anything else they knew about what was gong to happen.

They protested at first saying they did not understand why it would be a bad thing if they told everybody that it was all going to work out; but I managed to present my argument in a way that ensured their cooperation.

'You realize that just by being here we have changed the story, if we change it too much they may well fail'

'But'  
'No buts, do you really want to risk being responsible for Frodo and Legolas and the whole fellowship dying?'

Their expressions of horror at the very idea were answer enough, and an added comment of the possibility of them ending up married to Orcs if the worst happened ensured that they would keep their mouths firmly closed on the matter.

They chattered on for a few more minutes about the Elven dresses they had gotten to replace their school uniforms and how lovely Imladris was and that they hoped to meet lord Elrond and the hobbits soon. (Evidently the poor things had so far been spared the horror of meeting their fan girls)

Then we were interrupted by Glorfindel returning to the room carrying a tray with a bowl of some kind of broth.

'I am sorry to interrupt but Lady Alicia needs to eat and then rest to recover her strength after her long illness, you two will have to come back tomorrow to visit again'

I said my goodbyes to the girls and watched them leave, when they were gone Glorfindel spoke again, he seemed slightly nervous about what was about to happen and I was confused for a moment.

'Until you are strong enough to manage by yourself I will be helping you to recover' he came towards the bed and placed the tray on the bedside table and looked at me expectantly.

Realization dawned slowly and it hit me that if I was too weak to lift my arms then I would need someone to feed me.

I cringed inwardly at the idea, I wasn't a very good patient at the best of times and the idea of being spoon fed indicated a whole new low.

I glanced over at Glorfindel who was looking ridiculously apprehensive that he had in some way offended me; I spoke quickly so he didn't have time to start apologizing.

'That's ok, though I hope I get strong enough to feed myself soon, I feel absolutely ridiculous being tended to like this' he smiled sympathetically and holding the bowl in one hand he slowly eased the other behind my back, helping me into a sitting position.

It was easier than I had expected, the broth was mostly liquid and cool enough to drink straight out of the bowl so Glorfindel simply held it to my lips and tilted as he had done with the water earlier.  
Once I was finished he lay me down again so I was comfortable and covered me with the blankets and I was asleep again before he had left the room.

The next few days were slightly blurred together in my mind since I slept through a lot of it and woke up at strange times which made it hard to make out the days.

Glorfindel was my main carer which made sense since everyone else was busy getting ready for the fellowship to leave, he would help me to stand and walk agonizingly slowly around the room to help my strength return.

By the second evening I could feed myself but Glorfindel would remain and speak to me about the twins latest antics whilst I did.

The greatest highlight however was when a maid was allowed to come and help me to bathe and relive myself, being clean improved my temper enormously and my hair was washed and brushed out to dry while I sat in front of a lovely fire, I finally started to feel human again, or,,, well ,,, yeah whatever it felt wonderful.

I spoke to the older twins twice more and they were full of praise for my techniques in handling the girls and at the improvement in their behavior after their visit.

The girls themselves visited every afternoon and described their adventures to me; from what they told me I would be surprised if there was a single elf in Imladris that would not be happy to see the back of them when they left.

They were alienating everybody with their modern manners and language but at least they didn't cause any international incidents and the twins seemed to be growing fond of them.

Finally on the fifth day Glorfindel came in with my breakfast and a message from Lord Elrond.

'If you are well enough Lady Alicia Lord Elrond would like to meet with you and speak to you about your circumstances and what is to be done about the twins'

'I'm fine,' I answered cheerfully 'I feel the best I have since I arrived I should be able to manage a simple conversation' I paused for a moment as another thought occurred to me, 'But you will probably have to help me get there, I still can't walk very far without falling over'

'That will be quite alright, I will take you as soon as you finish your meal'

My meals were getting more and more substantial as the days wore on and on this particular morning I had something that resembled a pancake spread with a conserve of some description and a bowl of chopped fruit.

I worked my way through it and when I was finished Glorfindel helped me pull my hair back into some semblance of neatness.

Strangely enough my hair was the most noticeable reminder of my change of species, besides the ears of course, it had started out wavy and about down to my shoulder blades but it was suddenly as straight as possible and almost down to the middle of my back and I was strongly considering chopping the lot off.

When that was done he helped me off the bed and with a combination of an arm around my shoulders and me hanging on to the other arm for dear life we set out in the direction of Lord Elrond's study.

What I found when I arrived was not quite what I expected; Sitting in one corner of the room was Estel and standing beside him was a lady who could only be Arwen, her hair was black as midnight and her skin was pale and her eyes were the same startling shade of blue as the twins.

Lounging in an armchair close to the fire was an old man wearing grey robes with a long grey beard who I guessed must be Gandalf, the twins were there as well and seated behind the desk was I assumed Lord Elrond.

Surprisingly enough he really did bear a startling resemblance to Hugo weaving; only there were no lines on his face and his grey eyes had a depth and age to them that just could not be achieved by computer generation.

They all stood as I entered and the twins came forward to help Glorfindel arrange me in a soft armchair in front of the desk. The twins went back to where they had been standing over near Gandalf and Glorfindel took up position standing behind my chair.

Then the interview began, Lord Elrond spoke first getting the ball rolling,

'Welcome child, I am glad to see you so well recovered, I hope you have been comfortable and well cared for?'

It was stated like a question so I answered politely with a small smile over my shoulder towards Glorfindel.

'I have been made very comfortable my lord, and Lord Glorfindel has been incredibly patient with my griping about not being able to stand and walk on my own yet'

Elrond smiled softly at my admission of impatience and continued 'I have gathered all who need to hear your story together so you need not repeat yourself too often, This is Mithrandir a wizard and good friend who I hope can find some explanation as to how you have become an elf' he gestured to where Arwen was standing and continued with the introductions,

'This is my daughter Arwen who has just returned from the home of her grandmother in Lothlorien from whom she received training in the mystic arts, Estel and the twins you have met and obviously my friend Lord Glorfindel requires no introduction'

He smiled at this last mention as though it amused him for some private reason.

'Could you please tell us all in your own words where you come from and how you came to meet Hui'Selde in the wood outside Imladris?'

I took a moment to gather my thoughts, I had decided some time ago that honesty was the best policy; the only difficulty was going to be telling the truth so that I didn't sound mad.

I started at the beginning, I told them that my name was Alicia and that I was 36 years old and I lived in a country called Australia where I worked in a school teaching writing and painting.

When I mentioned a school I had to provide a detailed explanation of what exactly a school was before I could continue.  
I explained how I had found out that the girls had made a deal with a stranger to travel to what they believed to be an imaginary world, how I had tried to stop them but had ended up coming along for the ride and as much of what happened after we had arrived as I could remember.

Then I mentioned my theory about coming from a different world entirely, and how their world only existed in a book in my world pulling out my copy of The lord of The Rings to make my point clearer.   
I finished up saying, 'As far as I knew middle earth didn't exist anywhere except between the pages of a book, where I come from Elves and dwarves and hobbits and wizards don't exist outside of folk tales'

'Where we come from all of you are characters in a storybook and your world only ever existed in a writer's imagination, I can only guess that this Hui'Selde person can travel between worlds and has brought us here from an entirely different one!'

They all sat silently for a moment, then Gandalf spoke,

'I must say your explanation for how you came to be here may well be the truth, we have long suspected Hui'Selde could pass into other realities and bring back terrible weapons for the enemy and this is just another proof of her misuse of her power'

'Travel between worlds is forbidden for a good reason, many worlds are far further in time than their counterparts and going back in time with knowledge of how to affect future events could cause irreparable damage to the structure of the universe.'

'Regrettably Miss Alicia I have no answers as to why you have become an elf instead of dying but it is almost certain that you may never be able to get home'

There was silence for a moment as everybody realized the full meaning of his words. What would I do if I was stuck here forever?

I would never see my family again and they would never know what happened to me. A traitorous little voice in my head whispered that at least here I would have other elves for company and they wouldn't die, but I tried to ignore it.

I just had to get the girls home, what was the point of saving them if I didn't get them home? I sat quietly and listened while they discussed around me what should be done next.

**A quick thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter: manson, lothirielsilmaure, EVIL MANIAC, childofthekng, katleaf, animebishiluver, Cookies-R-Yummy, Yemi Hikari, whitedino, and pegasus63. **

**You are all legends but don't forget the 50****th**** review request chapter when you review, include your request and if you're the 50****th**** I'll let you know and your request will get done. So get reviewing ;)**


	7. 50th review special!

**Hiya all and welcome to the 50****th**** review celebration chapter, prepare yourself for a (very short) rollercoaster ride of hilarity and stupidity.**

**Since the 50****th**** reviewer didn't make a request we will use the request placed by EVIL MANIAC. But to set the scene for the funnies let me share with you some truly funny things I've been sent in email over the years. **

**1) Scrabble gone silly… ****PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA, when you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter only once): **

**TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS**

**A poem also for Valentines Day, cos that is when I first wrote this…. **

**My love, you take my breath away.**

**What have you stepped in to smell this way?**

**Disclaimer: If I was the person who owned it I would be a corpse, so logic tells us that a corpse could not type so if I'm typing this I'm not a corpse therefore I do not own it, simple **

**  
Glorfindel: that's not simple that's convoluted!**

**ETphonehome: It's simple if I say it's simple!!!!!**

**Glorfindel: meep, yes ma'm.**

**On with the chapter,,,,,**

The attack on Rivedndell came without warning and from the least likely source, the innocent looking twin girls and their harmless looking companion descended on the unsuspecting populace with weapons of utmost terror….

The Evil Hairbrushes Of Doom (EHBOD)

The EHBOD were so evil that even the strongest fell before them twitching in horror at the mangled remains of their hair.

The lords of Imladris held out the longest, Elladan and Elrohir barricaded themselves in their rooms but were tricked into looking out the window and were lost to the twin demons that lay in wait for them.

Lord Erestor and Lord Elrond found refuge in Elrond's study but were drawn out by the anguished screams of the lord's sons as their hair was horribly mutilated.  
They were quickly cornered by the twins and though they held them at bay with stools they were attacked from behind by Alicia wielding her EHBOD and soon their screams joined those of Elladan and Elrohir.

Lord Glorfindel was the most difficult to catch, being a seasoned warrior with no family to protect he had made straight for his sword and having armed himself found an open courtyard where he could see in all directions and thus see danger coming with fair warning.

But even our dear balrog slayer could not stand long in the face of three females wielding EHBOD, and he too fell.

The three creatures then gathered together supplies and horses and headed out of rivendell, their objective of giving all the elves in Imladris dreadlocks had succeeded, now on to Lothlorien.

(Evil grins)

**What, it's not supposed to make sense, it's a nonsense chapter, the real chapter 7 is in the works and will be posted soon no fear **

**Review**

**Review**

**Review,**

**The sooner you do the sooner we get a 100****th**** review celebration chapter **


	8. The real chapter 7

**Hey everybody sorry about the wait but uni snuck up on me and started before I finished the chapter.**

**I am starting a new tradition, a Chinese or Japanese proverb for each chapter. **

**Here's the one for this chapter: **

**#"man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day" **

**Ok enough stalling, now on with the disclaimer…**

**Phillip :( Authors kid brother); ETphonehome doesn't own any of the recognizable lotr's characters.**

**ETphonehome; (shrieks) where did you come from???????**

**Phillip: I stowed away in your luggage when you came through the interdimensional portal. (Grins evilly)**

**ETphonehome: So THAT'S why it was so heavy!!! **

**Phillip: HEY!!!! (Pouts)**

**And on with the chapter….**

Imagine there is a line

The discussion lasted for another couple of hours, Elrond recommended that the book I had brought should be burnt immediately to prevent any possible misuse of the information it contained about the future.

That task I took care of a page at a time while I listened with half an ear to them discussing what was to be done with me and the girls.

Finally Glorfindel came up with the only intelligent suggestion (aside from burning the book) I had heard the whole meeting,

"Why not send her to see the Lady Galadriel in Lothlorien? Surely the lady will have some idea of what to do, and she may also be able to see something in Lady Alicia's memories that she has forgotten or lost through her fever"

Everybody stared at him for a moment as though surprised he had made a suggestion, (I had noticed that he was rather quiet during the meeting) then wholeheartedly agreed that it was a splendid idea, they then got down to deciding when I should leave.

It was decided to my relief that we would leave about four days before the fellowship planned to go, That way whoever was traveling with us would have the benefit of the scouting being done for their trip without having to wait another two months for fresh scouts to be sent out and return.

Then came the discussion of who would go with us, Elladan and Elrohir were volunteered by their father much to their horror and it was decided after much discussion that Lord Glorfindel would also accompany us since no other guards could be spared before the departure of the fellowship and he was as good as a company of guards even alone.

Then they got down to the serious business of planning what to take (supplies etc) which I found pretty boring so I zoned out for a while and kept feeding my book to the fire a page at a time.

Suddenly all went quiet; I looked up to find everyone looking at me expectantly.

I blushed, "sorry, I wasn't paying attention"

Glorfindel came to my rescue again (he's starting to make a habit of it)

"Lord Elrond asked you what your name means in your language, he wishes to assist you in joining elvish society by give you an elvish name to be called by so your human name dose not draw to much unwanted attention on elvish realms."

I had to think for a moment, then I remembered one of those name meaning magnets one of my sisters had given me for my birthday one year.

"It means truth, or truthful one."

They had a short discussion in elvish (have I mentioned they have been being very polite and always talking in common when they were around me so I could understand what they were saying) and then Lord Elrond spoke up looking pleased with himself.

"Wonderful, lady would you consent to being called lady Anwe?"

I blinked; "I don't mind, it sounds nice" I smiled distractedly and went back to incinerating my book.

By this time it was well and truly lunch time and I was truly ravenous, a side effect of going without food for two weeks.

Everybody filed out; Glorfindel stayed behind to help me get out of my chair, and to my surprise he asked if I wanted to go to the main hall for lunch since it was nearer than my room.

I agreed with some reservations, I wasn't sure that I was up to facing a whole hall full of my now fellow elves, but I had to start some time and there's no time like the present.

The walk to the hall wasn't a long one and we had soon arrived, as we entered I drew no few curios stares as I was practically hanging off Glorfindel's arm.

But since there was no other way for me to stay standing up after the walk I shrugged it off.

After he had to nearly lift me into a chair at one off the emptier tables the looks became even more curios and a buzz of whispers began to grow in the room along with the stares.

I should mention that I'm a fairly shy person, don't get me wrong I'm not saying I'm one of those lost little mousy women who cant string more than two words together if more than one person is looking. But being stared at and whispered about by about two hundred people in a big open room was not my idea of a good time.

I cringed in my seat and almost instantly lost my appetite, Glorfindel must have noticed my discomfort, or he had herd the whispers and decided it was time to leave because he finished his lunch very quickly and helped me out of the room without a word.

Once we had left the hall we headed straight for my room, he was silent for most of the way so I was surprised when he spoke.

"It was not their intention to make you uncomfortable; it is rare that a guest in Imladris has their identity and purpose hidden from the people and they are very curios."

I shook my head smiling; the idea of a hundred immortal elves acting like impatient children wanting to be told a secret seemed more than a little ridiculous. I was still smiling when I answered.

"All the same I'll keep having my meals in my rooms for a little while yet if I can; I don't think I'm quite ready to face that again yet."

This time it was his turn to smile and chuckle slightly at the memory of the hall full of elves gossiping like an old wives club.

We finished the walk in companionable silence and once we reached my room I was put to bed for my afternoon rest.

Later Glorfindel took me outside into a quiet garden to enjoy the sunshine; the girls came there for their afternoon visit and chatted to me for a while before going off to torment some poor unfortunate soul.

After they went on their way I was left watching the sunset, alone with my thoughts.

As often happens when I'm given time too think things over I began rehashing my feelings over the past few weeks and finding the places where I had refused to think about things and giving them some attention.

First of all the whole transported to Middle Earth thing, I had been avoiding actually realizing what it meant in terms of maybe never seeing my family again and being responsible for the twins never seeing their family again as well.

Then there was the whole 'Now I'm an elf" thing, I had been concentrating really hard on not thinking about what that meant.

Think about the implications of immortality, I mean really think about it.

If I ever did manage to go home all my family would get old and die and I wouldn't not only that, when I got home they probably wouldn't recognize me.  
I looked fifteen years younger than I did when I left and I had pointy ears; even a DNA test wouldn't prove I was who I claimed to be because my blood wasn't human any more. That led to the realization that even if I could get my family to believe me I would never convince the government and if they found out I wasn't human (and they would find out) then I would have a life worse than death as their lab rat. It also occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to fade like a normal elf because I had my human approach to life and the base instinct to live no matter what.

I realized then that even if we found a way to go home I wouldn't be able to go, far better that my family believe me dead than to go back and confuse them and then have them know I was in the hands of the government.

This last was the final straw and I felt tears burning behind my eyelids and I looked around for somewhere to hide.

I don't think I've mentioned that I am a fairly private person, don't get me wrong I love to share a laugh with friends and I don't mind hugging family members in public but other things like anger, frustration, fear and grief I prefer nobody to see.

Each one has its own reason, anger because things said in anger can be the most damaging and words can't be unsaid. Frustration is similar to anger but it can be even more damaging because it doesn't have the excuse of loosing your temper. Fear, because if I'm afraid I'm normally also angry enough at the person or people I'm afraid of that I'll be damned if I'll give them the satisfaction of seeing that I'm afraid.

And grief and sorrow because my face puffs up when I cry,,, oh alright because I'm always afraid that if I cry someone will ask what's wrong and then think the reason is silly.  
Then there is the fear that if I start I wont stop, so yeah I don't cry very often.

Either way I'm not a big one for weeping I just get quiet and hide away from people for a while; once I've got myself under control I'm fine. However occasionally it all seems to build up and I find myself weeping uncontrollably at the slightest provocation which is of course what happened.  
Not that realizing you can never go home is a small thing but you would have thought I would have had plenty of other reasons before this to cry.

There was a small stand of trees only a short way away from my bench and I managed to stagger behind them before I fell to the ground and started sobbing my heart out. This was worse than any other time I had cried, this was deep wrenching sobs that I couldn't control, the tears flowed more freely than they ever had and I became completely oblivious to the world around me for a time.  
After a while Glorfindel came into the garden to take me back inside only I wasn't where he had left me. I heard him calling me but I didn't answer and I hoped he would leave, I still hadn't managed to stop sobbing and I didn't want to be found.  
Unluckily I hadn't taken into account Elven hearing, within a few moments he was beside me murmuring vaguely comforting words that I couldn't quite hear; he reached out and grasped both of my shoulders forcing me to look at him.

"Lady what is it? What's wrong?

I managed to control myself for long enough to answer brokenly.

"I can never go home, (sob) even if we find a way I can't, I'm not human anymore (sob, hiccup) my own family won't even know me and people will be afraid of me because I'm different."

He said nothing but his face filled with sympathetic understanding and he pulled me into a gentle comforting hug.  
I couldn't help myself, once the shoulder was offered I buried my face in his tunic and clung to him like a lifeline to reality and wept, deep heaving sobs dredged up from the core of my being purging me off all the pent up pain of refusing to realize the obvious.  
I don't know how long I sat there like a watering can soaking his shirt; but after a while the sobs eased of and I fell into an exhausted sleep and when I woke I was back in my room tucked comfortably in my bed with Glorfindel asleep in a chair beside me.

**Was that enough angst? Somebody asked for angst I forget who. **

**Anyway now for a quick thank you to all the people who reviewed last chapter.**

**Air element, Nelarun, lothirielsilimure, Yemi Hikari, KickUpSomeDust, whitedino, EVIL MANIAC, ilovesam, sugar-high pixi, -incessant embers- and Katleaf.**

**You are all great; keep reviewing and win the right to pick the plot for the 100****th**** review chapter. See ya then **


	9. The musings of an unlikely nursemaid

**Ch 8: The musings of an unlikely nurse. **

**Hey all, I am a Goddess, two serious chapters within a week with UNI starting and my birthday in 4 days. All bow down before the magnificence that is me .**

**Anyway this is a glorfys POV what he thinks about all the stuff that's been happening and his feelings about becoming a nursemaid. **

**Chapter proverb: "Man who run in front of car get tired"**

**And now for the disclaimer: **

**Georgia (authors kid sister) ETphonehome doesn't own anything that Tolkien owns she just owns the stuff that she owns (grins evilly) Like glorfy and his bow and arrows. (Snickers suggestively)**

**ETphonehome: (shrieks) Not another one,!!!! Where are you all coming from????**

**Georgia: Phillip told me about the portal so I snuck in behind you and hid behind the life sized cutouts of the fellowship until you were distracted. (Grins) aren't you glad I came? Now you don't have to worry about the disclaimer. (Grins insanely)**

**ETphonehome: (bangs head repeatedly against conveniently placed brick wall)**

**Now enough madness, on with the chapter……**

**imaginthereisaline**

**Glorfindel's pov**

The lady Alicia recovered slowly from her illness and it was some days before she was able to even stand unassisted. As it was she still required a great deal of assistance to walk any distance and it was inevitably I who gave the assistance.

In the beginning it had been my task to care for her because all others who knew of her were occupied with other important tasks, now it was simply because I was the most familiar to her and Lord Elrond did not want to distress her unduly. Whilst I wholeheartedly agreed with him I hoped that we would soon be able to introduce her to Imladris; not being able to reply to Lord Erestor's veiled jokes about me becoming a nursemaid because of spending so much time in the infirmary when I was obviously not injured was becoming too much for me to bear.

Now that the ring bearer was out of danger and Estel and Mithrandir had arrived Elrond had called a meeting to discuss why and how the ladies had been brought here from their world and what was to be done about them.

Alicia's explanation of how she and the twin girls had been brought here was fascinating; and the revelation that she was from another world entirely and knew our future was a great shock. After she had said her piece and the rest of those gathered had begun to discuss solutions she became very quiet, I had noticed during the time I was caring for her that she wasn't very talkative. It wasn't so much that she was reluctant to talk but more that she preferred to listen and speak only when she was sure of what she was saying. She also seemed to use her expressions and posture to replace much of what would normally be spoken out loud.  
Elves in general once they reached a certain age are very reserved and rarely show emotion of any sort on their faces but Lady Alicia would more often answer with a smile and a head shake or a nod or some other change of expression that suggested that she had thought of an answer and decided that it would probably be a bad idea to actually say it out loud. I found it fascinating to watch the constant play of expression as it washed over her small face as she spoke, and the rapid and expansive hand gestures that often accompanied her speech made it a truly individual. It was also possible to read her emotions simply by watching her face and I had noticed that she seemed distracted by some inner turmoil recently. It was not surprising considering what she had so far endured, but it was troubling that she seemed not to have resolved the matter and she was becoming more and more distracted. I only half listened to the discussion, and watched the Lady's reaction to their agreement to her suggestion that she was from a different world. She seemed relieved that they considered her trustworthy, she was only slightly regretful when it was decided that the book needed to be burnt to stop the possibility of it falling into enemy hands. She sat by the fire slowly feeding the fire with pages of the book seemingly oblivious to the discussion going on around her; I finally voiced a suggestion that seemed painfully obvious to me but seemed to have escaped everyone else's notice.

"Why not send her to see the Lady Galadriel in Lothlorien? Surely the lady will have some idea of what to do, and she may also be able to see something in Lady Alicia's memories that she has forgotten or lost through her fever"

The other's seemed surprised that I had spoken but quickly agreed that it was a good idea; a truly marvelous idea it turned out, and because it was my idea I was chosen to be among the unfortunates that had to travel with not one but two sets of twins. I resigned myself to a long and interesting trip, at least with the lady Alicia along I would not lack intelligent conversation. I had not been paying much attention to the conversation until lord Elrond addressed a question to Lady Alicia.

"Lady, I believe it would help you in being accepted into our culture as an elf if you had an elvish name. Could I ask what your names meaning is in your own tongue so that I may more accurately translate it into an elvish name?"

There was a moment of silence as everybody waited for her reply as she continued to stare into the fire, after a moment she looked up and then blushed obviously embarrassed,

"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening"

I answered quickly repeating the question for her and then giving her an opportunity to answer, the answer itself was rather surprising. Her name she told us meant truth ,or truthful one, it took a little puzzling out but eventually it was decided that the closest translation was Anwe. Lord Elrond was very pleased with him self for working it out and presented her with his choice with some pride. He was so pleased when she accepted that he didn't seem to realize that she seemed rather distracted at the same time.  
By this time it was most definitely time for lunch, as I helped lady Anwe out of Lord Elrond's study I asked if she would like to go to the main hall for her meal; I thought it would help her feel more at home among us if she was able to sit among elves and observe them doing something as mundane as eating. Sadly my idea failed quite spectacularly, the elves in the hall were ridiculously curios of the stranger in their midst and the fact that I needed to very nearly carry her to her chair only increased their fascination. The Lady was immediately tense and barely picked at her food, I ate as quickly as was seemly to spare her further embarrassment and we left the hall amidst a fresh wave of whispered guesses at her identity and origins.  
As we walked back to her room in the healing wing I tried to apologies for the behavior of my fellows, Anwe did not seem to mind very much but expressed the wish to take her meals in her room until she was better able to cope with quite so many people.

I left her to her rest once we reached her room, and later when I returned I took her outside to enjoy the sunshine after her long confinement in the infirmary. The twin girls Sarah and Rachel visited her there and told about their most recent escapades, it seemed they had planned to come here and had brought a great many supplies from their world not readily available here to help them. This explained how they were somehow able to make a seemingly harmless cushion make a horrendous noise when Erestor sat down on it in his study in front of lord Elrond and Estel.  
After the twins visit I had to leave to catch up on some paperwork that I had been neglecting to care for our visitor, hen I returned some time later I was shocked to find her gone from the bench I had left her on.  
I stared around franticly for a moment wondering what could have happened to her in the safety of the gardens, and then I herd the unmistakable sound of weeping from a stand of young trees in the corner of the garden. I made my way over to the trees calling her name, I fond her curled up on the ground weeping as if her heart were broken. I tried to talk to her and ask her what was wrong but she didn't seem to hear me, finally I took hold of her shoulders and turned her to face me.

"Lady what is it? What's wrong?"

Her answer was not what I had been expecting.

"I can never go home, (sob) even if we find a way I can't, I'm not human anymore (sob, hiccup) my own family won't even know me and people will be afraid of me because I'm different."

It took me a moment to comprehend what her garbled answer actually meant; but when I did I felt the deepest sympathy for her. She had realized that even if a way was found to send them back to their world she would not be able to go, in her world elves did not exist so she would be outcast and her own family would not recognize her so changed. Her family may as well be dead for she would never be able to see them again and she would never be able to go home. I myself know what it is to know ones home is forever lost to them as my own home had been destroyed in the fall of Gondolin in which I died.  
She was distraught and I gave what little comfort I could, enveloping her in a warm hug and I held her until her weeping ceased.

She was tense in my arms for a moment, them she relaxed and clung to me like one drowning who has found something to keep them afloat. Her whole body shook with the force of her sobs so I held her closer to stop the shaking. That was when I discovered that she was painfully thin; I could feel the bones of her shoulders and arms easily through the cloth of her robe. There was so little of her to begin with that it was frightening to see how badly weakened she had been by her fever and I realized that she may yet die from her ordeal if she wasn't carefully watched.  
Slowly her weeping subsided and I sat with her until her breathing slowed and she drifted into an exhausted sleep.   
When I was sure that she was deeply asleep I gently lifted her into my arms and carried her back to her room, once there I lay her on the bed gently and covered her over with her blankets. Then I sat in one of the chairs beside the bed to wait for her to awaken, I knew she would not want to wake up alone. I settled myself for a long wait for she was sure to sleep till morning. As I looked at her sleeping peacefully her face still slightly tearstained I remembered a stray thought that had occurred to me as I held her.  
Her hair smelled nice, faintly of flowers and grass, I puzzled to myself why this might have seemed important enough to remember but came up with nothing and dismissed the thought. While I had been carrying her to her room it had struck me again that she was too thin, she was like thistledown in my arms her weight barely noticeable like a child a fraction of her true age. I decided to speak with lord Elrond about it when I got the chance, it would not be good for her to travel if she was not properly recovered. Gradually I allowed myself to relax into a light doze as I waited for her to wake; I knew she would want to explain the true reason for her outburst and she would not want an audience.  
As I drifted of the thought crossed my mind that I was treating her like a child and I smiled slightly to myself, there were worse ways to be treated I suppose.

**YAY I cant believe I finished it tonight, I am a legend **

**There you go peoples, get reviewing so I can be motivated to write the next chapter in between essays for UNI. And don't forget the 100****th**** review chapter nomination rights are up for grabs for the 100****th**** reviewer.**

**And now a word from my sponsors… (the people who reviewed the last chapter)**

**childofthekng, katleaf, moonpixi, sugar-high pixie, lothirielsilimaure, Nelarun, CapriceAnn Heidi-Kocur and –incessant embers-**

**You are all great keep up the reviews and share the love .**


	10. The Twin Terrors Speak!

**Ch 10: The Twin Terrors Speak!!!!**

**Sorry about not getting this posted sooner but Friday the 3****rd**** was my birthday (I'm 21 yay me) And at one in the morning on Friday my mum got taken to hospital in an ambulance because of complications with her surgery from Monday and didn't come home till late afternoon.  
So anybody reading who prays regularly could you include a get well soon for my mum please, (the religion doesn't matter, they all help) **

**So I've been a little distracted but now we get to hear from the twins because it's been mentioned to me that we should hear their side of the story so here goes nothing.**

**Chapter proverb: Man who run behind car get exhausted.**

**I can't believe you guessed the right number Exactly the right number, (you know who I'm talking to)**

**And now for the disclaimer: **

**Margaret (Authors kid sister "younger than Georgia") My sister doesn't own any of the (sounding out) 'Re-cog-niz-able' Recognizable characters of Lord of the Rings even though she wants to own Glorfindel. (Grins in a ridiculously cute way)**

**ETphonehome: hey I figure if you can't get rid of them, use them. (Grins insanely)**

For the reader's information: each space indicates a change of speaker and they change in order first line Sarah second line Rachel and continuing on.  
And its supposed to make you lose track of who is speaking because they are twins and stuff like that happens with twins. Thank you for your attention.

_Imaginthereisalineimaginthereisalineimaginthereisaline_

Hi everybody, my name is Sara.

And I'm Rachel.

Were the twins who got Miss Evans turned into an elf.

And she didn't even thank us for it!!

Such ingratitude.

Any way she told us that we had to write down our memories of stuff that happened because she would be damned if she would write out our twisted reasoning's for our pranks.

So now we get to write some of the book, yay us.

Anyway we figured we would start at when we got found cos Miss Evans has already told you how we got sucked in and stuff.

And it's embarrassing to write about how we got tricked.

Shut up you, you're not supposed to tell them that.

Sorry

Anyway when creepy lady disappeared after throwing the shiny stuff at Miss Evans we were really upset.

Yeah we thought she was dead and we were all alone in middle earth with no one to take care of us.

We didn't even notice the elves that walked up behind us until one of them spoke.

Yeah he asked the stupidest question "My lady's what has happened here is your companion injured?" as if it wasn't obvious already that she was injured she was only lying on the ground for pete's sake.

So we told them what was wrong.

At the same time.

They looked shocked.

Served them right for asking stupid questions

Too right.

They were identical twins like us and tall hot guys as well.

Anyway one of them (we didn't know their names yet) went over and looked at Miss Evans.

We were so pleased when he said she was alive.

Yeah we almost fainted with relief.

Then he went and said she was an elf

There was no way we were going to believe that and we told them so.

He insisted, then ignoring both of us he picked Miss Evans up and rode away with her on his horse.

The one that was left was a little more polite.

Yeah, he asked us if we wanted to ride his horse and talked to us on the way to his home.

He asked us our names and we told him.

He even asked for Miss Evans full name so we told him that too.

Then we arrived at his home.

Which turned out to be Rivendel, from the lord of the rings!

We had ended up in middle earth after all.

After we finished squealing and dancing a happy dance, the fellow,

Who was actually Elladan.

Introduced us to a nice lady called Poic _("Pure" elvish version of Agnes it actually has two little dashes above the c but I couldn't figure out how to do that)_

Poic was the house keeper for the house we were staying in and she said she was going to take care of us tonight.

Elladan introduced us and then he went off to do whatever it is that elf lords do when they're not rescuing damsels in distress.

We were totally exhausted so as soon as he left we asked if we could go to bed.

Poic told us that we could go to bed after we had eaten.

Then she went and got us some food and some decent clothes to wear.

And some decent nightclothes

We couldn't agree more, school uniforms are ugly.

We couldn't wait till we saw what we would get to wear.

What we got was Elven dresses, squeee.

Long and cool, mine is green.

And mine is pale blue.

And they are both gorgeous.

The food was great too.

So we stuffed ourselves.

And went to bed.

Then obviously we slept till morning.

The next few days were quiet cos we were worried about Miss Evans.

It was almost two weeks.

Not quite.

But anyway we were too distracted to have much fun.

Elladan said that his brother was taking care of her but she still had a fever and might not ever wake up.

But after they told us that she was gona be ok we started to explore.

The first day we found a big library full of really old history books.

It had a lot of sheets of paper on a table as well so we made paper planes and had a competition to see who could make one that would fly over a shelf.

Then the librarian guy came in and started yelling at us so we left pretty quickly.

Elladan,

Who caught us and followed us around after that.

Said that Erestor,

The librarian guy,

Had banned us from ever going in there again.

We didn't mind, we don't much like libraries anyway.

That night we snuck into the kitchen and stole a midnight snack.

They had so much we figured they wouldn't miss a little snack.

The next day we explored outside.

We found the archery range and met Leggy poo.

We got yelled at for that too, we got banned from going near the archery range when people were practicing,

Which is always.

And leggy didn't seem to like us much

And he didn't look anything like Orlando Bloom either.

The twins Elladan and Elrohir both had to take care of us and try to stop us getting into trouble.

But they didn't have much luck.

So they got Arwen to help them.

Arwen is scary,

She's beautiful, but scary.

When she looks at you its like Miss Evans giving you the scary school teacher glare.

Without it having to get through her glasses.

She glared at us after the thing with the dwarves.

It's not our fault that the dwarves are touchy; we just mentioned the marked increase in body odor and shed hair after their arrival. Can we help it if they hear better than you would expect them to through all that hair?

And I do not appreciate being called mentally unbalanced just to stop them feeling offended.

But Arwen glared at us,

And the twins glared at us too, so we were outnumbered.

Then Miss Evans woke up.

Finally!!

The twins came and got us and we were allowed to go visit.

She still looked sick; she was all pale and thin,

She looked like a skeleton with skin on.

That's not nice!!

I never said I was nice.

She gave us a lecture about behaving ourselves and we promised to be nicer to people.

And she explained why we couldn't tell anyone what was going to happen.

So that took a lot of fun out of the day.

Anyway we talked for a while then huge scary guy came in and said we had to go.

The huge scary guy is Glorfindel and he is really huge and scary so we call him the huge scary guy.

Miss Alicia isn't scared of him though, but then Miss Alicia isn't scared of the principle so it's not a very good measure of his scariness.

Anyway back to the interesting stuff.

We visited Miss Evans every day after that in the afternoon.

But she must have talked to the twins cos they started to threaten to punish us by taking away the really important things.

Like our hair brushes.

And by putting nasty things in our beds.

We didn't believe them at first but then we each found a big hairy spider in each of our beds when we came back from a midnight snack run.

After that we gave up our snack runs in favor of not finding out if there were more of them.

After a couple of days without brushes we started to be really careful of what we said out loud.

And of where we walked so we didn't bump into as many people.

A couple of days after Miss Alicia woke up we visited her and she told us that we would be going to Lothlorien.

We were so excited.

We were going to get to meet Galadriel.

And Haldir, don't forget Haldir.

So we went of straight away to find the twins and ask them how we were getting there and when we were leaving.

They told us we were riding on horses.

Which sucked cos we don't know how to ride.

But he promised to teach us before we left; I think he's starting to like us.

Anyway we went to the stable to pick out our horses.

We weren't allowed to have elvish horses co we couldn't ride bareback but the normal horses were nice and we got given two little brown mares to learn on.

When we went to bed that night we decided that it was definitely a good thing we had a few weeks before we had to leave so we could at least learn how to get on.

**And that's all from the girls for now, sorry it's so short but like I said I was a little distracted this week. I hope to get a chapter done every week from now on but the day of uploading will vary so don't get discouraged.**

**And now some credit for the people who took the time to review the last chapter:**

**Lothirielsilimaure, childofthekng, pegusus63, moonpixi, katleaf, KickUpSomeDust, Nelarun, air element, EVIL MANIAC, -incessant embers and Yemi Hickari.**

**You guys are all great keep up the great work and once I get to 100 reviews I'll ask for a vote on the topic for another nonsense chapter. ;)**

**Have a great day.**


	11. Kerplunk!

**Chapter 12: Kerplunk!!!**

**Hey all, see I did update like I said, the 100****th**** reviewer didn't make a request but other people did I will be using the idea that mentions dresses but the requestor will remain anonymous until the funny chapter is posted (which may take a while).**

**Anyway once again we are back to Miss Evans's POV or rather Lady Anwe's POV and we get a little further along in the story.**

**Chapter Proverb: "Man with one chopstick go hungry."**

**I got this in an email and laughed for ages, **

**The Senility Prayer: God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to bump into the people I liked and the eyesight to tell the difference.**

**And now for the disclaimer:**

**Margaret (author's kid sister): giggles you have a life sized Gollum cut-out giggles you're weird.**

**ETphonehome: sigh I don't own it and neither dose my sister she just has a problem with excess giggling.**

**Margaret: giggles**

**Now on with the story….**

_Linelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelin_

Anwe's pov

I looked over at him sleeping peacefully; his eyes open but unfocused turned inward to his private dreams.  
Sitting there he seemed so normal, so very unlike the strange alien creatures that many of the elves I had encountered so far seemed to be.

It occasionally happens that when I have had some major stress or tragedy and I do something to purge myself of the negative emotions (aka: cry myself to sleep on a friend's shoulder) I find myself in the grip of an equally powerful sense of euphoria.  
This results in my doing something very playful and normally ridiculously infantile and giggling like a mad person for a few minutes before I get control of myself again.  
This happened now, following the promptings of my unusually hyperactive inner child I looked once again at lord Glorfindel. I noticed that he was slumped slightly to the left in his chair and was suddenly struck by an incredibly stupid idea. Shifting around on my bed I moved till I was on his right, then leaning over with utmost care I gave him a carefully aimed jab in the ribs.

The effect was instantaneous and far more spectacular than I expected, he seemed to leap halfway out of the chair in the intended direction (to the left) and when he came down he took the chair with him landing on the floor with a resounding crash as it splintered all around him. I stared down at him for a moment shocked at the level of success of my joke, but the look of stunned surprise on his face was too much and I burst into giggles a moment later.

He sat still staring at me for a moment, then his lips quirked onto an appreciative grin as he realized the humour of the situation and he began to chuckle along with me as he collected the pieces of the chair. Finally I got my self under control enough to gasp out an explanation and a kind of apology.

'I'm sorry, I rely am giggle I didn't expect the chair to break and it was so funny giggle I rely am sorry, I don't normally do things like that but after being so upset for so long my inner child decided it wanted some fun'

At this his face took on a questioning cast as he replied,

'Inner child? Lady what is an "inner child"?'

I stopped my giggling completely and searched for a way to explain the modern concept and then the perfect example occurred to me and I answered with a grin.

'An inner child is something that everybody has, it's that little voice at the back of your mind that suggests that the most effective punishment for the twins dying your hair green would be to shave of one of each of their eyebrows while they slept.'

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow, daring him to deny that a similar thought had ever crossed his mind.

He stood deep in thought for a moment; then he looked at me and grinned,

'I see, we call that a sense of fun, although your description is more accurate I think'

We both had another good laugh at that; we chatted for a while about various pranks the older twins had played on him and others in the past, and about other inconsequential matters.

He was very easy to talk to, I think that perhaps there are some things you cant share without becoming friends and crying oneself to sleep on another's shoulder is one of them, and I was extremely glad to have found a friend in this new world.

We talked all day, when the maid came with my breakfast tray she saw I had a visitor she went straight away to bring Glorfindel a tray as well. The same occurred at lunch, we traded stories one at a time; I told him of my many brothers and sisters and my parents and about my career as a teacher. In return he told me of his life, and very briefly his death, and his friends and family both dead and gone and waiting for him over the sea. Some even fit in both categories, like his dear friend Ecthelion who had been killed in the fall of Gondolin. He told me about how he had come to be reborn in Middle Earth and a little of the conflicts he had witnessed; and I told him about my martial arts lessons and why I took them, he seemed rather interested in that and made me promise to show him when I had my strength back.

A lot of the time we laughed together over silly or naughty things we had done in our youth like climbing into a bath fully clothed for me and he admitted to once cutting his own hand with a wooden practice sword. The twins came for their daily visit but were a little subdued; evidently they had tried to make friends with Frodo with disastrous results. It had ended with Sam chasing them away from his poor shell-shocked master with his little sword threatening to cut them of at the knees if they touched Mr Frodo's hair one more time. As punishment for upsetting a patient while he was still recovering Elrond had made them help clean out the stables for a day and they were exhausted. I made a mental note to warn Elrond to be very careful where he sat down and what soap he used for a few days, but I guessed he had had twins of his own and knew what to look out for.

Eventually night came and it was time to say goodnight, but I slept far better that night than I had since I had arrived. (Fever sleep doesn't count)  
The next day I felt marvellously better, it was like getting rid of all the negative thoughts during my crying session had finally allowed me to recover properly. I still got tired quickly if I tried to do anything strenuous but I could walk around unaided and wash and dress myself. I was still painfully thin except in one place; it runs in my family that the last place we lose weight from is our boobs. And since I was relatively well endowed to begin with they now just looked stupid on such a gaunt frame. I resolved to over eat until I got my natural curvy shape back.

My return to health seemed to cause a huge flurry of activity in many areas of the house. Up until now I had been wearing a really simple over robe; kind of like an elvish hospital gown only much more comfortable. It was like a long sleeved floor length shirt that got tied in the middle with a sash. And while it was very nice and all; that was all I was wearing, nothing else, totally commando underneath.

I had woken up like that and I just refused to think about who would have undressed me and up until now I hadn't really been moving around enough for it to matter but now I was whisked away to the seamstresses to be measured prodded poked and clucked over. They were all very nice and seemed determined to treat me like their long lost daughter, they we all horrified to see how thin I was and at first thought that I had been starved. When I explained that I had been asleep with fever for two weeks and had only recently woken up they sent straight away to the kitchens for a tray of nibbles for me to eat while they measured and pinned and measured some more.

After the seamstresses I was whisked away to meet the resident expert on elvish culture, (who just happened to be Erestor) Glorfindel's triumphant grin as he introduced me and explained his absence for the last few days suggested strongly that those two had a friendly rivalry going on.  
Erestor would be instructing me in all areas of elvish customs, history and etiquette including the elvish language while I was staying in Imladris.  
It was from him that I learned the most surprising thing; lord Elrond was making preparations to adopt me as his foster daughter. Erestor explained that it was still in the planning stages and that Lord Elrond intended to ask me before he did any thing. But Erestor confided to me that Lord Elrond had a bad habit of putting one on the spot so to speak when it came to important decisions and he wanted me to have a little warning so it didn't come as such a shock. Evidently Elrond had not provided Erestor with a reason so I would have to wait until he asked me personally to find out why.

After that there was still more to do, I was taken down to the practice fields and tested for my aptitude with weapons. Swords were a definite no go, I could hardly lift the lightest on there. My archery was fair but not exceptional I could get most arrows in or near the target but nowhere near the bull's-eye as yet. I showed some promise with the twin blades thanks to my dancing lessons and martial arts training, since the main secret to wielding them was to not be where your opponent expects you to be.

I think I surprised Legolas who was doing that test, he was being gentle on me out of respect for my illness and really didn't expect me to be able to get behind him, his squawk of surprise when I tapped him in the ribs was well worth the pain when he sat me on my ass in the dust in retaliation. Finally they tested me with spears and lances, none of them seemed to work out until I asked for just a plain staff. When they asked why I told them,

'My mother always told me that when I'm alone in a new and potentially dangerous place I should 'step softly and carry a big stick' and if a staff is nothing else it's definitely a big stick'

That got a laugh out of everyone and I was promptly brought a stout staff shod at both ends with a steel cap with elvish runes engraved on both and an artistic pattern of flowering vines burned in a spiral all down its length. I proved to be a quick study of this weapon as well but mostly in defence and once again only because I knew how to get out of the way quickly and how to lessen the impact of heavy blows. Eight years of learning how to fight hand to hand in a class full of gigantic overly muscular steroid shooting macho men had its perks. I knew every trick in the book for fighting a larger opponent and a number of dirty tricks that were not in the book but my teacher taught me because I explained that I wanted to know for actual defence, not for showing off.

By the time we were done it was after dinner time and I was beginning to get tired, Glorfindel helped me back to my room where a maid was waiting to help me bathe and dress and he promised to send a tray from the kitchens with my evening meal. I luxuriated in a hot bath and then sat in front of the fire and brushed my hair dry as the girls came for their evening visit. They chatted away for a while and surprisingly enough they had not caused any more havoc since their last visit, I wondered what they were planning.

After that my days fell into a routine, Glorfindel would visit me in the morning for breakfast and would then take me to wherever Erestor wanted me to have lessons that day. I would spend the morning learning to be an elf; lessons with Erestor though less physically demanding were no less humiliating. Tolkien gives some sweeping generalizations about elvish culture but very few specifics. So I had to learn everything from scratch; beliefs, names of the Valar, (I wasn't that much of a Tolkien nut) their roles, the history of the elves, everything. Not to mention their customs, courtesy's, festivals and rituals. I don't know which of us was more embarrassed when he tried to explain about elvish marriage customs.

The more in depth stuff I talked to the healers about, you know whether or not elves got periods and PMS. Turns out they don't get anything like it until they are sexually active and then it's just a general moodiness and being insatiable during the time that they are most fertile. (No bloody stuff thank God, or thank the Valar I suppose)  
Then after the noon bell rang Glorfindel or the twins or both would come and collect me and we would share lunch either in my room or have a picnic in the gardens. Then I would return to my room to change and spend the afternoon getting beaten up or embarrassed by my various weapons teachers.

I wont go into detail about each of my weapons lessons but I will describe an image that about sums it up.

Picture two people; one male one female, now imagine the female person is about two feet shorter than the male, give both of them big sticks and make them fight……

You get the picture.

Once they thought I had had enough I would be taken back to my rooms by one or another of them and left for a time to bathe and dress, then Glorfindel or the twins would come and get me and we would go to the small hall for dinner. Then it would be back to my room in the infirmary and to sleep ready to do it all again tomorrow. (Evidently I was still being kept a secret from the rest of Imladris so I didn't get a guest room)

Oh I almost forgot, two days after the fun at the seamstresses my clothes came back. I got four dresses; two were lovely gowns that were obviously for formal wear and two simple plain colour dresses, one blue and one green both with a really simple black trim on the hems cuffs and collar. I also got three sets of shirts tunics and pants they had a fancy name but I forgot it all were plain green-brown pants with white shirts and three different colour tunics, one grey one green and one kind of silvery blue. The pants would be a godsend for training, and I got elvish undergarments!!!!! The knickers are kind of like boxer shorts with a draw string because they have no elastic. And the answer to the bra is a thing they call a breast band, it's along strip of cloth that wraps once around the front crosses over itself at the back and ties up in a knot back at the front and the ends get tucked under the edges where they won't show. (Not as good as wonder bra's but way better than learning knife work commando)

So I was all set to knuckle down and learn as much about being an elf as I could in the few weeks left to do so.

**And now to recognise my adoring fans, (aka the people who reviewed last chapter)**

**Childofthekng, pegasus63, lothirielsilimaure, animebishiluver, Nelarun, Katleaf, Crecy, moon pixi, CapriceAnn etc, Yemi Hikari, - incessant embers- , psalm 136 and Air Element. Thanks to all my faithful reviewers and welcome all newbie's hope to hear from you all after this chapter.**

**Wow longest chapter yet, over 2800 words ;) I am sooo cool **


	12. Frilly Dwarves!

_**Ch 12: Frilly dresses **_

**Welcome one and all to the 100****th**** review celebratory idiocy chapter; here you will encounter madness in unprecedented amounts along with a healthy helping of the fabulously ridiculous. So strap yourself in and get ready for a short but wild ride into the depths of the authors insanity. (Idea supplied by "crecy" I took the dress idea but twisted it, elves are too smart for them but the other races aren't so lucky)**

**Chapter proverb: **_**"**__**Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok."**_

_**Disclaimer:**_** Rebecca: (authors kid sister) Sigh, my sister says that if I say she doesn't own any of the recognisable lord of the rings characters I can leave to go on my date, yells can I go now?**

**ETphonehome: Yup of you go and get all lovey dovey with heathy weathy grins insanely**

**Rebecca: thumps author**

**ETphonehome: Owww that hurt!!!**

**Rebecca: It was supposed to! runs**

**ETphonehome: throws shoe at retreating form of Rebecca Damn I missed!**

**Sorry about the short chapter guys normally I would have waited until next week but I just had to share this. I got my first flame and it was from such a moron, she read all 11 chapters before she flamed me what a dumbass. And did you know that the site has been invaded by a swarm of angry locusts? Ok going away now to die laughing **

**(The Last Temptation of Homer) (Flame for CH11) **_**Just stop it now. This is going beyond a joke; and it wasn't even funny to begin with. The world doesn't need another smug American teenager writing another crap 'Sue trying to be funny, but in fact sounding just like all the other ten million that infest this site like a swarm of angry locusts. Poor, poor Tolkien.**_

**What a nit, just to be sure I wasn't being naive and she was actually right I visited her home page and looked at her story's….. She isn't nearly good enough to bag anybody out about their writing.**

**Sorry I ranted so long it won't happen again. Anyway on with the chapter,,,,,,**

_Imaginethereisalineimaginethereisalineimaginethereisaline_

Sarah and Rachel glanced conspiratorially at each other from where they were crouched just around the corner from the bathing room. From inside there could be herd the harsh sound of a number of dwarvish voices, soon they would all go into the steam room and that would be when they would make their move.

Eventually all went quiet and they crept around the corner and into the room. Moving quickly they gathered up all the clothes and every towel until the room was bare of all cloth. The dwarve's weapons they left wisely deciding the risk of being chased with them was outweighed by what would happen if they found them with them. Once all the clothing had been removed they laid out a number of tiny frilly dresses that they had stolen from the store room. They had belonged to Arwen in her youth and were consequently quite decorative in the way of small girl's dresses. The deed done the perpetrators scurried away to hide the evidence then returned just in time to watch the show.

Soon the dwarve's returned and when they discovered their loss their cries of outrage could be herd outside at the practice fields. Unfortunately for our to pranksters it was Miss Evans and Glorfindel who came inside to see what the fuss was about. They arrived just in time to hear the voice of Gloin raised in the process of delivering a truly startling ultimatum.

"I will no wear the blue one it has too many frills, I will wear the green one and you Gymli will wear the grey one, the rest of you will wear whichever ones you grab first"

Gymli's voice joined the argument,

"But father this is preposterous"

'No Buts"

Came the bellowed reply,

We will clothe ourselves and go and discover who is responsible for this outrage and punish them accordingly"

Sarah and Rachel waited and watched expectantly as the door opened and the dwarves processed out right in front of the two waiting elves. They struggled to keep their laughter under control at the looks on both the dwarve's faces and on Miss Alicia and Glorfindel's faces. There stood the entire delegation from the lands of the dwarves, dripping wet dressed in nothing but Arwen's old frilly party dresses. Finally it was all too much for them and a choke of laughter escaped each of them, two Elven heads turned in their direction and they suddenly found themselves on the receiving end of Miss Evan's patented teachers death glare. The pair gulped and then did what any intelligent person in their position would have done, they ran for their lives.

**Not very long I know and I'm sorry, but don't worry there will be another chapter this week before Sunday see you all then. **


	13. Twin Speak,, AGAIN!

**Ch 12: IT"S GREEEN!!!!!!**

**I'm Baaaak!!! Hey all, I did it yay me woohoo dose a happy dance shrieking like an idiot I finished it on time and I got it handed in on time and it's done and gone and I am soooooooo relieved. Few, now that I've got that out of my system. **

**Finally the chapter you've all been waiting for in which I answer the burning question occupying everyone's minds. **_**Whatever happened to her chocolate bar anyway?**_

**Chapter proverb: **_"__War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left."_

**Disclaimer:**

**Authors mum: I'm so glad your using your talents, but don't you think you should use characters you actually own?**

**ETphonehome: Mum!!! What are you doing here!!!**

**Mum: Well Georgia told me about the special door so I thought I would pop in to say hello and give you some encouragement. Maybe there's something I can do to help??**

**ETphonehome: trying desperately to cover the cuss words in the chapter uuum yeah sure mum, just repeat after me. **

"**ETphonehome dose not own the LOTR'S characters"**

**Mum: repeats "ETphonehome dose not own the LOTR'S characters" **

**How was that?**

**ETphonehome: Perfect mum, congratulations you just did your very first disclaimer. grins**

**Mum: beaming smile **

**On with the chappie…..**

_**Linelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelineline**_

_**Anwe's pov**_

When we heard the bellowing we were just coming back from the stables after being chosen by my horse. The girls got given ordinary horses to ride but because of my new status as an elf I got to be chosen by an elvish horse.

That's right chosen, they are really smart cookies and though they don't live as long as elves do they live a hell of a lot longer than ordinary horses something along the lines of two thousand years.  
It works like this, you go stand in the middle of the field and call out your name and why you need a horse and ask politely if any of them would consent to carry you.  
Then when and if one comes up to you, you name it and if the horse accepts the name then it is yours and won't let anybody else ride it without your permission.

I don't think anybody expected the horse I got, I went and stood in the field and called out the greeting I had been taught (cos I can't speak elvish that well yet) and waited to be looked over by some of the most beautiful horses I had ever seen.

Then one approached me he was to put it bluntly huge, 18 hands high at least a beautiful dapple grey stallion with a white mane and tail and beautiful brown eyes. He nudged me in the chest and whiffled in my face as if to say "hurry up with the naming so you can give me those sugar cubes your hiding in your pocket"

I was shocked, he was way too big for me, there was no way I was going to be able to even mount him let alone ride him. I glanced over at Glorfindel for guidance but he just smiled encouragingly at me seemingly pleased with the horse that had cosen me. I looked back at the great big baby who was now lipping my pocket impatiently and spoke to him, "I don't suppose you would agree to answer to Tiny would you?"

His ears immediately pricked forward and he flung his head up and down a few times as if to say yes then went back to begging for treats.  
I sighed, "I'll take that as a yes shall I?" and I took pity on him and handed over the sugar cubes.

All right I know Tiny isn't an elvish name but I'm Australian ok, I'm one of the people who called a big sandy desert The Great Sandy Desert and a bridge over the harbour in Sydney the Sydney Harbour Bridge. For goodness sake were perverse we call girls bazza, Tiny for a big horse isn't such a big deal.

Anyway after I put Tiny away in the stables Glorfindel and I were on our way back to the practice fields when we herd the dwarve's bellows of outrage. We both rushed inside to see what was wrong and were treated to a sight that will never again be seen in middle earth, 'Dwarves in dresses'. It took an immense act of self control to stop myself from laughing out loud at them. Predictably it was all the work of the twins and they were very very sorry after I got a hold of them (thank you elven speed I caught them within a few steps)   
I got them to return the dwarves clothes and armour to them and apologise for being so rude. By focusing on the fact that they were children I got them out of any really serious trouble but they were condemned to telling lord Elrond what they had done and accepting whatever punishment he came up with. Glorfindel just stood silently behind me looking stern and I think the girls found him a bit intimidating, but I knew he just didn't dare speak in case he burst out laughing. Once we were sure that both groups were out of earshot we both collapsed into gales of laughter, I think the image of gimli in a frilly dress was one that would stay with both of us for the rest of eternity.

It was getting easier to think about my new immortality, I suppose its human nature to adapt to any circumstance and I seemed to have kept that instinct despite my change of species. It was starting to be exiting; I quite literally had forever to do just about anything I wanted to. I could learn a trade or travel or learn other languages without having to worry about time; it was really a very liberating idea. I was still determined to do everything I could to get the girls home and hopefully a message to my family that I was alive and well but just couldn't get home. But I was no longer weighed down by my fear of loneliness, sure I was gona be immortal but I wasn't gona be immortal alone, I had friends.

Later that afternoon I got called into lord Elrond's study and finally got an explanation of the adoption thing. It turned out it wasn't a literal adoption but more like fostering, I would still be lady Anwe of Australia but I would be introduced as lady Anwe of Australia in the care of the house of Elrond. Which means basically I was legally a member of his house and had the benefits of the respect it was held in and its protection in the other elven realms I would be visiting. This meant that I would be able to call all his children either brother or sister and they had to treat me as such but if some mad desire overtook me to marry one of them (coughnochancecough) I would still be able to. I was very grateful and thanked him for his kindness but could not contain my curiosity enough to stop myself from asking the age old question of 'Why'?  
He smiled as he answered,

"It is as much to my benefit as it is yours lady, my house will be known as the one who welcomed the only person to ever survive one of Hui'Selde's killing spells. It will bring us considerable prestige to claim you as one of our own"

And that was how I became lord Elrond's foster daughter, at least I knew it wasn't for some bad sue reason like he saw me and was instantly captivated by my innocence or some such crap.

The days flew by after that, filled with all my other lessons as well as riding lessons (turns out thanks to elven agility I can manage to mount Tiny with a minimum of fuss) I met Arwen and we hit it of really well, she loved the idea of having a little sister and started to baby me right of the bat. I didn't mind really having been the eldest all my life it was nice to be a bit pampered. She loved tiny too and was very impressed by his size, she agreed with me that he was just a big baby and helped me pamper him on the days when I had time because I couldn't reach the top of his back without standing on something. It seemed the dwarves had been impressed with how well I managed the girls because Gimli sought me out to thank me for salvaging a potentially humiliating situation. I took the girls to apologise to the hobbits for acting crazily and stood by looking stern as they recited their practiced apologies. This seemed to earn me Sam's respect and a small smile from Frodo but it wasn't until I let Merry and pippin hide under my bed when they were running away from the cooks that I really hit it of with them. They were delighted to run into a "young" elf even by their standards and would often sit with me in the small hall at meal times and chat away about the shire and their homes and families. They were very impressed by the number of aunts and uncles and cousins and such I had and could name, evidently big people only remembered their immediate family.

The other twins (Elladan and Elrohir) Thought it was great fun to tease me about having charmed most of the races of middle earth, it went something like this,

"Now all she has to do is charm the emissary from the realms of men to make it a complete set"

"Not true dan, she has already earned Estel's admiration with her strength during her fever so her collection is already complete"

I laughed at that and replied,

"What about Elves? Which of those am I credited with charming?"

They both adopted comical expressions of dismay and replied in unison,

"Dear lady you have stolen the hearts of no less than six elves and in your callousness you cannot even remember their names, let us refresh your memory"

They continued a little more seriously, but soon degenerated into twin speak,

"Adar likes you"

"How could he not"

"You know how to deal with twins"

"I declare even I am half afraid of your punishments"

"And to us you're like a little sister"

"We love you to bits"

"And we'll kill anyone who insults you"

I thought this statement from Elladan was a bit overdramatic but they continued,

"Legolas has been impressed by you ever since you got that hit in"

"He admires your determination"

"But would never tell you"

"He's too much of a snobby princeling"

"Erestor thinks you're a dream come true"

"The first pupil in thousands of years who is actually interested in the histories"

"And such a quick learner too"

"And Glorfindel"

They said this one in unison then looked at each other and laughed,

"He just loves the fact that you don't squeak and blush"

"Or just plain run"

"Every time he comes into the room"

"All the other Elleths"

"And most of the Ellons"

"Are scared of the mighty balrog slayer"

"And only us and Adar and Erestor and now you, stay long enough to have a conversation and get to know him"

This surprised me and I answered incredulously,

"Glorfindel? Why would they be scared of him? I mean he can be a dangerous warrior I know he IS teaching me to fight after all. But you only have to be scared of him if you happen to be an orc or a balrog; He's really just a big softy."

This just made them laugh harder and they wandered of still chuckling to themselves.

The days were getting colder and soon it was only a week until we were due to leave, which was when lord Elrond announced a small ball was to be held to introduce the newest member of his house to all of Imladris. A flurry of intense preparation followed, with decorations being made and put up and food prepared not to mention fantastically beautiful sets of clothes being prepared. Three days before the ball I found a new gown in my room; it turned out that the seamstresses had been working on my behalf once again and had presented me with the most beautiful gown.

It was dark green velvet and seemed to glow with an inner light, the cuffs collar and hems were decorated with a stunning pattern of tiny leaves and flowers picked out in silver thread and tiny crystal beads. It was clasped around the waist by a silver belt about three centimetres wide which was decorated in the same pattern as the hems with tassels of strings of tiny crystal beads. The whole thong was finished of with a round spider web shaped net of fine silver chains with a tiny crystal bead at each juncture and a larger one on each outer end which when it was pinned into my hair looked absolutely lovely. There was even pair of tiny white satin slippers with green embroidery on them peeking out from under my bed.  
When I tried to thank them they just brushed it of saying they had had fun dressing up a new lady. Evidently they had already made a great many dresses for the lady's of Imladris and they weren't very often called on the use their skills to create a whole new gown.

The day before the ball I was given a free day from all my lessons to rest and pack because the day after the ball we would be leaving and would not have time to pack. I still had my little hand bag with a few things in it, I always carry a little lipstick case with a few bits of jewellery in it just in case so I kept that, my car keys and my wallet were really a waste of space but I kept the pictures of my family that were in it for remembrance. I had a few emergency sanitary items and left after the twins had come running to me weeping wondering what they were going to do because they had their periods. I couldn't help but tease them that I didn't need them any more and I asked the healers if they had anything for the girls to use and they went of to have a talk with them. I never found out what they used but the twins were very quiet for about five days. Anyway I kept them for any future emergency along with a pocket sewing kit I found under the sundry papers and rubbish and a pocket manicure set, hey you never know when you might need really tiny scissors. Then there was my chocolate bar, two full sticks of gloriously wicked dove, caramel and almond chocolate safely wrapped on foil paper. It took an extreme act of will not to just eat it, but it would probably be the last chocolate I ever ate so I wanted to make it last so I had to wait until after I stopped experiencing chocolate withdrawal or I would gobble the lot (Hello my name is Alicia, "hello Alicia" And I am a Chocoholic CA meeting Chocoholics Anonymous)

Anyway that got packed too along with two of my sets of travel clothes; the last was left out to wear and I got a pair of soft boots to travel in too that would have been the "in thing" at home which were left out to wear as well. And my two gowns and my day dresses. Thank goodness we were taking horses and didn't have to carry the stuff ourselves.

Once I was all packed and set I went out into the hall to make my way to the small hall for lunch but I was greeted by a sight almost as funny as gimli in a dress, Glorfindel in green hair!

**A huge thank you to all my readers for your patience with me and my going psycho about my assignments and stalling in my writing. You are all so supportive and I just wanted to let you know how great it was that you even reviewed my stupid little weepy sob story post with such wonderful comments. **

**You all Rule Thank You. **

**Now a special mention to all those that reviewed last chapter and the sob story post;**

**Lothirielsilimaure (twice)**

**Nelarune (twice)**

**Yemi Hikari**

**Tish (new)**

**Crecy (twice)**

**Katleaf**

**-incessant embers-**

**Whitedino**

**EVIL MANIAC**

**ArwhenEvenstar83 (new)**

**Valinor's Twilight (new)**

**Childofthekng**

**Roslyn (new, I have a Glorfindel shield so your arrows don't scare me :b)**


	14. Of lemon juce and half empty bottles

**Ch 14: Of lemon juice and half empty bottles.**

**Yay I'm back to regular updates again, go me betcha expected it to be late again didn't yah? In this chapter we encounter for the first time the consequences the twins must suffer for pranking one of "lady Anwe's" friends. (Very Evil Grin)**

**Chapter proverb:**** "Man who stand on toilet is high on pot."**

**Disclaimer: **

**Elizabeth (authors other kid sister) you really are weird you know that**

**ETphonehome: Yup (grins insanely)**

**Elizabeth: can I go now?**

**ETphonehome: not until you say the disclaimer!! (Ridiculously cheerful)**

**Elizabeth: Fine!! My idiot sister doesn't own anything but her life size cardboard cut-outs of the lord of the rings characters.**

**ETphonehome: Now say hello to all my fans!**

**Elizabeth: No way! Mum only said I had to support your writing not talk to other weirdoes!!!**

**ETphonehome: Hey!!! They aren't weirdos their intelligent human beings.**

**Elizabeth: Whatever, (bored)**

**ETphonehome: GRRRRR!!!!**

**On with the story….**

_linelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelinelineline_

It Was Green; there was no other way to say it, one of the most hideous shades of green I have ever had the misfortune to see. He had obviously just come back from bathing after training because his hair was still wet and he had his training clothes hanging over one arm with his sword and was holding a bottle of some kind of soap in the other. It was just as obvious that he had no idea as to the state of his hair since he was making no effort to hide it, simply walking down the corridor as though he didn't have a care in the world.

He stopped when he saw me and smiled, he opened his mouth as though he was about to say something but stopped and looked rather confused when he saw the look on my face.  
I tried not to laugh, I really did but when he looked at me with that slightly confused expression and raised one acid green eyebrow I just lost it. It started out as giggles, then snickers, then outright laughter. I laughed so hard I almost broke a rib.

You have to understand I don't know what the twins used but it had turned his hair, all of his hair, including his eyebrows, a dreadful acid green, neon green, nasty plastic wig green. His expressions as he watched me were a story in themselves, first mildly surprised, then truly startled, then confused, then annoyed, then downright exasperated. I must have tried to explain at least a dozen times but I just couldn't get the words out around the laughter. Finally I just grabbed his hand and pulled him back into my room, there was a small mirror hanging on one wall above the table with the basin and I pulled him over to it and turned him so he was looking at himself in it.

His expression was priceless; I don't think anything short of another balrog could have achieved an equal reaction of rage and dawning horror. He began to talk in elvish and though I still couldn't understand most of the words the tone suggested very strongly that he was swearing. I finally calmed myself down enough to speak a little and gasped between fits of giggles,

"Which 'giggle' set of twins do you think 'giggle' are responsible for this 'giggle' one?"

Glorfindel was still staring at his hair in stunned horror but was distracted by my question and turned to answer,

"I have never seen anything like this, the colour, it's so bright, and I know not how to remove it, I think perhaps it was the girls, if the boys had this kind of dye they would have used it before now"

This last was said with the tone of deep resignation acquired by someone who has long been the target of embarrassing practical jokes. He looked back at the mirror and mournfully fingered his eye catching hair. It struck me for some reason that he was actually sad about his hair and that dried up my mirth straight away.

I am very fierce in the defence of my friends since I don't have a huge number of them. No I'm not saying I'm a lonely introvert who believes everybody hates her or any such crap; I just don't like having hundreds of casual acquaintances who I can forget from one month to the next. I have a few close friends who are as dear to me as family and glory was one of them.

As I watched him inspecting just how bad his hair was I began to plot, I went over to the table where he had put down his things and picked up his bottle of soap and opened it. The smell that came out was very familiar; a year ago a company had come up with a special hair colouring recipe that could colour any hair immediately. It was completely clear, you only found out what colour after you used it the only hint was in the smell; each colour had an extremely strong perfume of a fruit or flower whose colour it imitated. Glorfindel's soap smelled strongly of artificial green apple. I turned towards him thoughtfully,

"Glorfindel, where did you get this?"

He looked at me confused for a moment, and then realisation dawned and was swiftly followed by a low groan of consternation,

"It was given to me by the twin girls, Sarah and Rachel, as a gift, they said it was a scented soap from their home land in apology for trying to shoot me during archery practice"

I nodded, confirming his guess that he had been tricked and it was in fact the source of his now vibrantly green hair. Suddenly I grinned evilly and looked over at him,

"Wait here and don't go out, I'll be back in a little while and help you get the dye out, it's easy when you know how and I have lots of practice."

With that I grabbed my cloak from the bed and, still holding the still half full bottle of dye I left the room and made my way over to the guest room that the girls were sharing. After searching through their bags I found their bottles of shampoo and carefully emptied half of the contents of Glorfindel's bottle into each of theirs.

I was amazed at the amount of stuff they had managed to pack into their bags, their were whoopee cushions, more hair dyes, itching powder, fake fangs, trick tea bags, trick bars of soap that turned your skin purple (I memorised what they looked and smelled like for future reference) rubber knives, an arrow through the head gag,

I confiscated the fake blood and blood capsules (no need to cause a panic if they tried to fake an injury) they had monster masks and fake claws, sweets that foamed when sucked, sweets that were hot pepper flavoured, sweets that turned your mouth blue, red, black, green, and of all things an honest to goodness rubber chicken with a squeaker. All of this plus countless changes of clothes, jewellery and makeup and a number of other basics like deodorant.  
I just shook my head and stole their spare shampoo for myself (citrus scented, yummy) and left them their little surprise.

Now the secret for removing the dye was citrus juice, preferably lemon so my next stop was the kitchen. I put on my cloak, pulling the hood up to cover my hair completely and went in. The head cook was a happy soul and well liked by all she met; she had been in her position for a very long time and commanded the kitchen staffs unconditional obedience. However she did not tolerate intruders in her kitchen while she was busy preparing the noon meal and said as much when I approached her to ask for her assistance and demanded an explanation for my presence.

I grinned slightly as I answered as honestly as I could while keeping glory's secret and only slightly twisting the truth,

"Actually I was hoping you could help me, A certain pair of twin girls who shall remain nameless" she grinned at that "have decided they have rested long enough between pranks and have decided to turn someone's hair" I paused meaningfully allowing her to think I meant myself "a rather violent shade of green, and the only way to get it out is to wash ones hair in lemon juice and hot water and I was hoping you had some lemons" This last I said with a slight hopeful smile and when I saw her expression of righteous outrage I knew I had a new ally in my plan. She bustled away purposefully and soon returned with a small cloth pouch containing about ten small lemons.

"There you go lady, the last of the lemons until the next traders come from the farm, I hope they will be enough?"

"They will be perfect, thank you so much"

I replied gratefully, I couldn't believe my luck now the girls would have no way to repair their own hair after they were caught by their own prank. I thanked the cook again and headed out again, my next stop was the baths. I got a pair of very obliging young maids to help me carry four buckets of water to my room, two hot and two cold and a large basin and a number of dark coloured towels, they offered to help me wash my hair but I excused my reluctance by saying that I didn't want anyone to see the state it was in. I thanked them profusely for their help and they went on their way with friendly waves and sending me wishes of good luck in getting rid of the dye.

Finally with a little help from a thoroughly confused Glorfindel, I got all the gear into my small room and began to explain to him what exactly was going on.

"the only way to get rid of the stuff is to wash your hair again completely with lemon juice, leaving the juice to soak in for a while then rinsing it with hot water, I'm going to help you get back to normal without anyone seeing you so the girls think that their prank didn't work, the disappointment of a failed prank is even better punishment than cleaning stables for a day because they don't even get the satisfaction of seeing their hard work secede"

When he understood what I was on about Glorfindel agreed wholeheartedly to the scheme and agreed readily to letting me fix his hair. While we had been talking I had set up a little hairdresser's salon thing using the basin the table and the chair. The chair sat in front of the table now cleaned of its bottles and jars and holding only the large basin, beside the table sat the buckets of water and a scoop to use to poor the water over his head.

I directed Glorfindel to sit in the chair and tilt it back until it rested against the table with his head leaning over the tub, one of the towels folded up and placed under his neck made him comfortable and I began to apply the lemon juice. I cut the lemons in half with the small knife thoughtfully provided by the cook and squeezed the juice directly into his hair, when it was thoroughly dampened (soaked actually) I coiled the lot on top of his head, being very careful as I did not to touch his ears if I could possibly help it

(Erestor embarrassing incident number 42: elves ears are a pleasure point, for touching by bonded mate only)

Then I attempted the difficult business of getting lemon juice on his eyebrows without getting any in his eyes. I managed it in the end and while his eyebrows and hair were soaking up all that lemony goodness I mixed the water to a comfortably warm temperature ready for rinsing.

While I worked Glorfindel told me stories of other pranks the twins had pulled on him and I shared some of my own memories of pranks played on me, both successful and unsuccessful. After a while we lapsed into a comfortable silence as I massaged the juice into his hair and then he was carefully still as I worked around his eyebrows so I was a little startled when he spoke while I was lifting the first bucket onto the table ready to begin washing his hair out,

"Anwe, what did you do with the remainder of the bottle of dye the twins tricked me with?"

I grinned even though I knew he couldn't see and replied in a deceptively innocent voice,

"I gave it back to them,"

I wondered if he would realise what I meant, he was silent for a moment and then suddenly grinned the wicked grin I remembered from my first day awake and answered in a perfectly serious tone,

"It is right that their property be returned to them"

Then we both grinned sharing the joke, just before I started he asked another question that lay to rest any doubt that might have remained in my mind that his sense of humour matched mine perfectly.

"I wonder, you said the only way to remove the dye was lemon juice?"

I answered yes,

"I don't suppose the cook had many lemons left at this time of the year did she?"

I grinned in understanding,

"None at all besides the ones she gave me, and I've finished them all"

He smiled a soft contented smile and relaxed back into the warm water as I rinsed the lemon juice and mercifully every trace of green from his hair.

After I had finished and wrapped a towel around his hair so it wouldn't drip down his back he stood and dried his hair of himself and then carefully inspected it for any trace of green in the mirror. The look of relief on his face when n he saw it had worked gave me a warm fuzzy feeling of accomplishment particularly when he turned an absolute lady killer of a smile on me and bowed to me saying,

"Thank you milady you have done me a great service and I am ever in your debt. Should you ever require assistance please do not hesitate to ask it of me"

Then he looked up at me from his bow and grinned mischievously, and I laughed and replied with a wobbly curtsy and an attempt at a simpering tone,

"T'was nothing my lord, the merest trifle, I was happy to be of service"

We looked at each other for a moment then both collapsed laughing.

Glorfindel had to hurry after that because he remembered he had been supposed to meet Erestor for lunch and had to make up an excuse for having missed it. I myself was ravenously hungry after missing lunch so I scurried down to the kitchens to grab a little something and to thank the cook for her lemons again and show her how well they had worked.

Later that evening as I sat in bed going over in my head the things I had packed making sure I hadn't forgotten anything I herd a pair of bloodcurdling screams from the direction of the guest rooms the girls were staying in. I smiles seraphically and leaned back to go to sleep, I was warm clean and comfortable and finally able to walk under my own power. I was going to meet lady Galadriel and learn how to send the girls home and I hadn't had to go and be embarrassed on the training courts for a whole day. The girls had been beaten at their own game and I had a really pretty dress.

Life was golden and I couldn't wait till tomorrow to see the twin's hair.

**Authoress grins widely, what do you think should I find the twins some lemons?**

**Thank you to all the people who reviewed last chapter,**

**Pegasus63, EVILMANIAC, ArwenEvenstar83, Psalm 136, Fk306 animelover, katleaf, angelsfyre 1, Valinors Twilight. You are all soooo great, keep up the good work only 52 more reviews till the 200****th**** review celebratory chapter **

**Here from you all soon. **

**TTFN ta ta for now.**


	15. Enter the goon from Gondor!

**Chapter 16:** Enter (and exit) the Gondorian goon.

**I'M BAAAAAAAK (grins insanely)**

**I know I've been gone for ages and I thank you for your patients. (Is that spelled right?)**

**Sorry about the wait but school is school and assignment deadlines wait for no man (or woman) plus mum was in hospital for seven days recently and she still has an infection and a cist as well. And I as the eldest got stuck holding the household together. On a lighter note I got a distinction on my text and traditions essay so I expect congratulations . I hope this chappie makes up for the wait I finally make it known why Anwe doesn't like Boromir (sorry to all boromir lovers but I had to come up with a believable reason why an open minded woman of the 20****th**** century wouldn't give a shit if a man went to his death).**

**Chapter proverb:****Man who fart in church sit in own pew.**

**Disclaimer:**

**ET.phonehome: (Runs past screaming) I DONT OWN IT, I NEVER SAID I DID, HONEST, PLEASE DON'T SUE ME, PLEEEEASE!!!!!!!! (Continues to run and is soon followed by a pack of rabid lawyers)**

**(Pompous radio voice)Please donate to the kill the rabid lawyer's fund, a society dedicated to the eradication of rabid irrational lawyers from the face of the earth. Your donation is greatly appreciated. **

_(Please note that this is not an actual request for funding, it is intended as a humorous pun at the expense of the lawyers only.)_

o0o

The day of the party dawned bright and clear with no sign of rain. Since I wasn't immediately attacked by green haired twins nor did I find anything nasty in bed with me I guessed that they had not yet discovered the culprit for their current colourfulness.

I rose and dressed simply and made my way to the small hall for breakfast. On the way I passed Boromir in the hall, he started when he saw me and paled, then turned and walked quickly the other way. I smiled viciously at his retreating back, all was as it should be.

Oh!! Gosh I just realised that I forgot to mention my meeting with the goon from Gondor at any point so far in my record, it is quite an amusing story so allow me to repair that omission.

It was the first day after I emerged from my room after my crying fit and the following day of talking and resting. I was enjoying the fact that I could walk unaided and was on my way to the gardens to meet Glorfindel and the twins (both sets) for a picnic lunch. I was nearing my destination when I was quite suddenly grabbed from behind. One arm snaked around my waist pulling me tight against an unmistakeably male body and the other headed straight for my breasts fondling me through the cloth of my lose robe. A bearded chin brushed against my cheek and whispered in my ear,

"Well well, you're a pretty little thing aren't you, how about warming my bed for me tonight hey?"

Now I admit freely to being frozen in shock, I was in Imladris for goodness sakes. Elves didn't do this kind of thing and although I am short I don't think the dwarves are tall enough. I stood stiff and silent for a moment as the indecent proposal was whispered into my ear but when the salacious suggestion was followed up by a truly revolting lick to my ear I finally found my wits. Finally putting to good use half a dozen years of self defence classes every Friday and Saturday I went on the offensive. First I threw my head back with as much force I could muster landing a solid blow to my attackers chin then I rammed my elbow into his solar plexus which weakened his hold further then I lifted my heel and slammed it into his foot with all the power I could muster in my 5ft frame. He released me with a startled yell and I spun around while he was still doubled over and delivered a stunning open handed slap that rocked him back against the wall. Now I finally got a good look at my attacker, he was a tall fellow about 6ft tall with black hair cut long as was the style of the time and a short neatly trimmed beard and brown eyes. His hair was somewhat dishevelled and the whole left side of his face was rapidly turning bright red from my slap and he was staring at me with the kind of shock normally reserved for things that are rabid and dangerous. I'm afraid at that point I lost my temper and started shrieking at him.

"How dare you touch me without my permission, you filthy slimy twisted little man, How dare you attack an invalid in the very house that she has been given shelter for her recovery. Your vileness of character is matched only by your idiocy in not realising that I am no serving wench at one of the filthy taverns you frequent to be mauled and manhandled at your leisure. I am a guest here just as you are so have some consideration for the honour of your host and keep your wandering hands to yourself you filthy lecher."

Whilst I was ranting his look of glazed stupidity fell from his face and was replaced by a look of dawning horror. I saw his gaze flick to my ears as he slowly made the connection. Suddenly he went another shade whiter as he focused on something over my shoulder. I herd a rustle of cloth and turned to see who had arrived only to see exactly why the girls called Glorfindel "the big scary dude". He stood at my shoulder, tall and terrible glowing in the low light in the hallway, with a look on his face that would have made a rabid bear turn tail and run. And his eyes, I know lots of fan fictions do that stupid thing where they take a paragraph to describe the look in an angry elf's eyes and to tell you the truth I have to fight to resist the temptation to go on for pages about glofy's eyes at that moment. Suffice to say that I was very, very, very glad he wasn't looking at me like that.

This was my first glimpse of Glorfindel as his enemies might see him and I was suddenly very glad he was on our side. Boromir (because I had finally figured out that it must be boromir because he was the only other "man" in inverted commas here) was as white as a sheet as he tried and failed to meet the gaze of the enrages balrog slayer, and he began to sweat heavily as both Elladan and Elrohir stepped forward and added their flinty glares to Glorfindel's. They stood frozen for a few seconds then Glorfindel took a slow step forward and boromir flinched, this brought a derisive grin to the faces of the three enraged elves and they continued forward with quiet deliberation. When Glorfindel reached the now trembling human he grabbed him by the front of his tunic and pulled him completely of his feet until he was held at eye level, then he spoke in a low dangerous voice that sent a chill through everyone present,

"You little human will go to lord Elrond and tell him how you have abused his hospitality by assaulting a guest he views as a daughter in his own house"

He then turned to the twins and tossed the unfortunate man at them and continued,

"You two will accompany him and ensure he doesn't get lost, NOW, before I lose my temper."

The command rang through the hallway like a whip crack and made boromir start violently. But the last was said in a low whisper so that to anyone but an elf it would sound only like a low growl. The twin's eyes widened when they herd it and they grabbed boromir, bowed to myself and Glorfindel and left with great speed dragging the hapless human between them.

Glorfindel remained where he was, staring after the retreating trio even after they disappeared from sight around the corner. I came forward slowly not wanting to disturb him if he was still controlling his anger. He was simply staring blankly down the hall where the twins had disappeared with their cargo.  
I reached out a hand and placed it on his arm gently to get his attention. The contact seemed to startle him and he looked down at me clearly confused for some reason. I gave him a shaky half smile and broke the awkward silence,

"I'm sorry I yelled so loudly, but I'm afraid I lost my temper when he tried to lick me."

I made a disgusted face at the memory and glanced up at him again, the smile coming easier this time.  
He stared down at me with the most adorable look of confusion on his face as he tried to make sense of what I had just said.

"You're not frightened?"

He asked incredulously.  
Now it was my turn to be confused,

"Frightened? Of that cretin? Why would I be frightened?"

His face still showed his disbelief,

"He just assaulted you lady, and touched you indecently and threatened your honour. If he had completed his purpose you would have likely faded!"

Suddenly I realised what had him so upset. He was working from his knowledge of women from middle earth and not from inner city Sydney. He didn't realise that what would scar a sheltered elven maid for life was next to nothing in the city clubbing scene. I grinned wickedly in an attempt to reassure him,

"I think it's more a case of me assaulting him, I'm sure I bruised his jaw and I will be very surprised if I haven't broken a couple of his toes."

I smiled reassuringly up at him as I explained,

"Really, I've encountered far worse at home. That's why I've learned to take care of myself."

He still looked doubtful,

"Honestly he hardly touched me, he wouldn't have even got as far as he did if I hadn't been so shocked at being attacked at all. This is the last place I would expect to be approached by a dirty old lecher with an indecent proposal."

I grinned again remembering the look of shock on his face when I fought back.

"Besides I got the chance to beat him up for it and see the look on his face when he realised I wasn't a human servitor or a slave. It was priceless, I wouldn't have believed that a human being could get any paler but then he saw you and the twins and proved me wrong"

I chuckled again at the memory and looked up at him again questioningly this time,

"Are we still all going to lunch?"

His confused look was gradually replaced by a grin, then he began to chuckle slowly growing louder until his whole huge frame shook with mirth. He controlled himself with difficulty and sighed deeply, and then looking down at me grinning mischievously he replied,

"Truly little one you are a wonder, yes we will go to lunch the girls are waiting"

And we went to lunch, the boys arrived about halfway through with bloodthirsty grins on their faces that suggested that boromir's punishment had been very satisfying. They seemed surprised to see me, I suppose they thought I would be traumatised by what they saw as a terrible ordeal and here I was sitting happily in the garden eating cold chicken. They looked at Glorfindel questioningly, he looked right back and shrugged leaving the pair just as confused. I found out later that I had broken 3 of Boromir's toes and lord Elrond had been so furious he had set them without giving him any painkillers and had confined him to his room until the fellowship departed.

So now every time I pass him in the halls on his way to the baths or similar he scurries in the opposite direction and every time it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. Don't get me wrong I wasn't a Boromir hater from the start. I felt sorry for him in the books and I thought he was a bit wussy in the movies and I sincerely pitied him his portrayal in the cartoon (bearskin undies, shudders). But meeting him face to face, or back to face, or whatever saw me ranged firmly on the side of the boromir haters.  
I didn't look forward to his death you understand, but his being a lecherous prick made it easier to not say anything about his eminent demise.

Anyway the day of the ball passed rapidly considering I had nothing to do and before I knew it I was on my way to my room to get all dressed up. I opened the door to my room expecting it to be empty, and was shocked to find no less than three maids and the lady Arwen waiting for me with wicked grins on their faces.  
They pounced as soon as I entered the room and shut the door behind me. I was rapidly undressed and pushed into a bath that had miraculously appeared in the middle of the room and was thoroughly washed despite my protests that I was quite able to wash myself. Once I was clean to their satisfaction I was allowed to dry myself as they prepared my clothes. Then I had to suffer the indignity of being dressed by maids, I was laced firmly into the lovely green ball gown the seamstresses had made for me so I felt like I had to be very careful how I breathed in case I split a seam or damaged some embroidery.

Then they attacked my hair, braiding pining and setting the lovely crystal net over the top of the lot of it. Finally I was given a few moments peace while they bickered over the rival merits of jade beads and diamonds to offset my complexion. I think I already mentioned my lipstick case full of emergency jewellery and as I waited I decided to take the initiative since I remembered I had a set in there that would match perfectly. It was a set if black opal teardrops and round crystal beads. A necklace and earrings set that I got while visiting lightning ridge on a holiday one time.

I had noticed that elves did not have their ears pierced, I supposed it had something to do with the sensitivity of elven ears. Anyway they were absolutely horrified when they turned around to find me slipping the last hook through my earlobe.

Two of the maids fainted straight of and Arwen and the last maid looked rather green. I tried not to laugh as I explained why it didn't hurt at all. They relaxed somewhat when they realised that the holes had been made and long healed when I was human and it didn't really hurt but I caught them touching their own ears and wincing whenever they looked at mine.

Now during all this fuss I had not been able to look in a mirror but now was the great unveiling. They brought out a full length standing mirror covered in a cloth and standing me directly in front of it after a dramatic pause they pulled of the cover with a flourish and waited for my reaction.

**I am evil aren't I? **

**Many thanks to my patient reviewers, and don't worry I have another chapter written just waiting to be typed.**


	16. The joys of pointy ears,,,

**Chapter 19: The joys of pointy ears,,,**

**Hey all sorry it's been so long between updates but I found this cool online game called runescape and I'm addicted (5 hours a day at least). So my typing has suffered. However I will endeavour to get a chappie out a week cos Friday is my last exam (wish me luck). In this chappie we hear from glorfy again and find out what happened to the twins hair…**

**Disclaimer: I was gona make up a dirty limerick for a disclaimer but I got lazy and decided to just say, I DON'T OWN IT AND NEVER SAID I DID SO YOU CANT SUE ME, NER NE NER NE NER NER !!!!!! (Blows loud raspberry)**

**Chapter proverb:** _Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk._

**And now on with the chapter,**

o0o

I looked magnificent, I mean I never thought I looked particularly ugly but I was no supermodel, but now…

The months in Imladris had put my curves back where they were supposed to be even if I was a bit slimmer than I used to be. The dress hung perfectly, clinging in all the right places and falling in shimmering folds all around my feet. And my hair! They had braided it back from my temples in a number of tiny braids that merged back into the main mass of my hair. On top of it all there was the glittering silver and crystal net that was carefully secured with tiny pins and glittered and flashed in the dying sunlight. The pendant and earrings completed the outfit, you wouldn't believe what pointed ears can do for your bone structure, and with the earrings drawing attention to them it was like everything else fell into alignment with them. Above the opal drops I also had a pair of emerald _coughcutglasscough _studs and the single crystal _coughcutglasscough _stud in the top of my left ear twinkled drawing attention to my face.

Overall the effect was stunning, I was amazed at how well the whole thing turned out and I couldn't wait to show of to the boys.

Now that I was finished I was made to sit on a chair out of the way while Arwen was poked prodded and primped to within an inch of her life When there was only a few minutes to wait until we were to go in the twins (the girls) arrived to wait with me. I had to fight back my laughter at the state of their hair. The hair dye had worked perfectly and despite some corrective braiding with ribbons and flowers it was still very obviously bright green.

I made all the appropriate exclamations of horror and deep sympathy at their bad luck to have been pranked the day before the ball and the absence of any lemons in the kitchens to remove the offending colour. Inside though I was cackling with glee at finally seeing them out pranked.

They were otherwise dressed prettily in simple white and gold dresses cut very demurely and their hair simply braided with white and gold ribbons and tiny white flowers.

Finally we were all ready, only waiting on our respective masculine escorts. Naturally Arwen was being escorted by Estel and it made good sense that the twins supervise the twins and Glorfindel had offered to escort me. I had herd from Elladan and Elrohir and Erestor that he didn't like big parties and normally avoided this kind of event so I was very grateful to him for keeping me company. Finally there was a knock on the door and we all stood in anticipation. I couldn't wait to see how the boys reacted to seeing us all dressed up.

o0o

Glorfy's pov

I have noted that the lady Anwe has mentioned her encounter with the man of gondor but she was not completely aware of all that went on. She believes that I was simply worried for her safety and I hope she remains ignorant of the true reason for my concern. I was truly worried for her, Elleth's have fallen into dangerous depressions for lesser attacks and in her already fragile state of mind I had no idea if she would survive it. My other concern was wholly selfish, I viewed the lady as a friend and I did not wish to lose her companionship but most elves after seeing me in a fury are reluctant to spend time with me. To be quite frank they are normally afraid of me and avoid me completely. Lady Anwe was not only unafraid to approach me but also completely unconcerned about touching my sword arm. I was truly amazed at her bravery and she seemed to not even realise that it was anything terribly special to simply shrug of an attack on her virtue and hold a light conversation with a warrior so famous for fierceness that even his allies feared to approach him. Then she amazed me once again, "she" apologised to "me" for losing her temper, as though she might have done something wrong. Then in all her practicality she asked if we were still going to lunch, I had to laugh she was such a strange mixture of frighteningly worldly and simply innocent at the same time it was a mystery and a relief that she was not afraid and I did not question it and we went to lunch laughing over inconsequential things and chatting about the twins.

Another part of the tale that she is not aware of is the fact that the setting of his broken toes by lord Elrond without pain medication was the least of boromirs punishments. For such a grievous breach of hospitality he received 20 lashes with a steel tipped whip and ashes rubbed into the cuts to ensure deep scarring would remind him always of his transgression. At first he had protested the harshness of the punishment but when he was informed that the lady he had attacked was considered by the lord Elrond to be an adopted daughter he became far more cooperative as he realised he was lucky to have escaped with his life.

It was rely quite amusing to watch Lady Anwe smirk in a most unladylike manner whenever she noticed boromir running away from her down a hall. All of us were glad that the event did not seem to have had any kind of adverse effect on her recovery.

The intervening time passed quickly until the morning of the ball the day before our departure. After the hair dye incident the night before I was curios what retaliation lady Anwe had taken on the girls for their prank.

The morning progressed normally right up until the time a little before the girls normally appeared when the hallway was filled with shrieks of teenage anguish as they finally looked in the mirror. I had to struggle to keep my face expressionless as two dishevelled human girls ran shrieking down the corridor in their nightclothes shrieking about their hair which was the same horrifying shade of green as mine had been only last night. Revenge is sweet and once they were gone I went to my room and indulged in a bout of laughter before going to assist Erestor with the last minute preparations for the ball.

The day passed quickly and very soon it was time to begin getting ready, I don't normally attend such functions as my presence is normally very awkward for most of the other guests as they are more often than not afraid of me. But tonight I had promised to escort Lady Anwe so she did not feel out of place. So I had a new set of clothes courtesy of the ever keen seamstresses to wear to the ball. It was a fine set, white trousers with tan soft boots and a soft white shirt with silver embroidery on the cuffs and collar and a dark green tunic with a fine silver pattern of leaves around the hems. I dressed quickly and put my hair in my warrior braids and with a grimace of disgust I set the mithril lords circlet on top. Finally I was ready and I headed towards the twins room to meet them before collecting the girls. They soon joined me in walking towards lady Anwe's room as that was where we were told to meet the ladies, we met Estel on the way and he accompanied us as well. Eventually we reached the door and knocked firmly, there was a shuffling of cloth from behind the door then lady Arwen called out,

"Come in"

o0o

To be continued (evil grin)

**Thank you all of my reviewers old and new your support has been invaluable to maintaining my interest in this even during UNI stress. I thank you all and I hope to keep you interested for many chapters to come.**


	17. Lets Party!

Ch 17: (edited, I got rid of my rant at a flamer)

**Chapter proverb:** _Man who eat many prunes get good run for money._

**Disclaimer: I don't own it so you can't sue. (Short and sweet, I've ranted long enough)**

**o0o**

The door opened to reveal a truly stunning lady Arwen smiling softly at us in greeting. I glanced over at Estel and had to smile at the stunned and dazed look on his face. After a while though it became necessary to intervene,

"Estel"

I called gently,

"Huh?"

Came the articulate reply,

"We have to go inside to meet the rest of the ladies"

He blushed an amusing shade of pink and mumbled an apology as he finally walked into the room, the rest of us followed chuckling at his expense. The mirth only increased when we caught sight of the twin girls Sarah and Rachel whose hair was unmistakably bright green despite the maid's best efforts to disguise it. I glanced over at lady Anwe to share the joke and found myself frozen in shock.

She stood in the middle of the room exuding a kind of patient anticipation and wearing a serene smile that changed to one of amusement when she caught sight of the boys bowing theatrically to the girls and leading them out. The candlelight made the crystals in her hair glitter and the rich fabric of her dress shimmered with every motion, the cloth clung to every curve of her body and spilled around her waist like the petals of a perfectly formed flower, the tiny beaded slippers peaking out from under her skirt glinted in the low light and drew attention to her tiny feet. A strange jewel glimmered darkly at her throat and to my intense horror hung from her ears and her eyes seemed to glow with amusement as she watched Estel and Arwen and the twin's antics.

She looked magnificent, gone was the shy young Elleth that I had known for the last few months and in her place was an undeniably beautiful elven woman with a calm self assurance and a kind of quiet dignity that demanded respect. There was no question now of her being a child she had crushed that illusion quite affectively. Her attention shifted from the two sets of twins and she glanced at me to my surprise she looked extremely amused and for a moment I though she had caught me staring. She walked over to me still grinning and giggled in a deeply reassuring manner and held out her sleeve against mine before speaking,

"Look at that, the seamstresses have gone and made us match the naughty things"

I looked down and was quite shocked to notice that she was right, everything about our clothes from the colours to the pattern of the embroidery matched perfectly. I grimaced,

"This will have the gossip mongers talking for millennia"

Lady Anwe laughed aloud at that and shook her head,

"At least they didn't make you match the twins"

Her wicked grin made me wonder what exactly she had done with what she had confiscated from the twins,

"We had best get going or we will be the last ones in and that will definitely set tongues wagging."

I looked around and suddenly realised that everybody else had already left, quickly I bowed deeply to her and intoned formally,

"Lady, would you honour me by accompanying me to this celebration?"

She replied with a deep curtsy and an equally formal,

"It would be my pleasure kind sir, to accompany you"

We were still for a moment then we both burst out laughing, I offered her my arm to her and she placed one tiny hand upon it and we then swept dramatically from the room and rushed to catch up to the others.

o0o

Hey all

Us again

Miss Evans

Or Lady Anwe as we have to call her now

Said we could write about the farewell ball

Because she has more important things to do than write about a whole bunch of people she doesn't know eating and drinking

And dancing don't forget the dancing

And getting drunk

That too

Anyway it started when we all met in Anwe's room to wait for the boys

And our poor hair was green, green I tell you

There is no justice

Anyway the maids had done something to Miss Evans

Lady Anwe

Oh right Lady Anwe, and she looked really pretty

In an elvish kind of way

I mean nobody could have looked as good as Arwen but she didn't look to shabby either

The funny part was all the boys were shocked

Aragorn

Estel we have to call him Estel in Rivendel

Oh yeah Estel was all goo goo eyes at Arwen but the twins eyes nearly popped out of their heads when they saw her

I think they thought she was just a little girl

Biiiiiig surprise she definitely didn't look like a little girl anymore

Even funnier was the big scary dude who was her friend so far

We see romance on the horizon

He was so gob smacked he couldn't speak

It was so funny

He just stood there gaping until she went up and talked to him

She didn't notice though

She is sooo oblivious when it comes to people liking her

She didn't even realise that the hot P.E teacher was hitting on her until he tried something

And then she smacked him one in the face

She's nuts I tell you

Anyway we finally got to the ball and waited in a little room to be announced

We were ladies for the evening and Lady Anwe's wards

You should have heard the whispers when she was introduced though

Yeah it was so funny,

Lord grumpy pants

Lord Elrond sister dear unless you want to clean the stables by yourself

Oh alright Lord Elrond was standing up on the podium thing where his chair was and announced it to everyone

It went kind of like this,

"My friends I know you are all curios about what has been going on for these last few months"

That was the understatement of the year

"Many of you are aware that we have a guest among us but you are unaware of her importance"

Whispers getting louder

"I will now tell you all what I have been keeping from you"

Whispers become nearly deafening

Man the old guy really knows how to get a crowd hyped up doesn't he?

"You are all familiar with the name HuiSelde"

Chorus of gasps

And I'm sure at least one person fainted

"It would seem that she has taken to travelling to other dimensions in search of her victims to fuel her foul magic and attempted to steal away these two students before you to increase her strength"

That would be us

You have no idea how uncomfortable it is to be stared at by two hundred curios elves

No idea at all

"These two young mortals were tricked into accepting a favour from the traitor putting them in her dept and making it possible for her to take their life energy to power her magic, however the girl's teacher became aware of the bargain and attempted to put a stop to it. Unfortunately the girls did not listen to the wise lady's advice and went ahead with the bargain, their teacher followed in an attempt to prevent the pair from leaving their world but was instead drawn into our world along with her students. When the traitor demanded her payment in the form of one of the girls lives this brave lady offered up her own life instead as payment. For reasons unknown the traitor agreed to this and cast the spell to seal her fate."

Everyone looked suitably impressed with his story telling skills and he paused for effect

Don't be rude

Oh alright he stopped to calm everybody down since half the room was weeping in sorrow for the poor supposedly dead teacher

Then he got on to the good bits

"This is where the tale passes out of my understanding for the lady whose name is lady Anwe did not in fact die"

Gasps and whispers all around

Gosh these elves were predictable

"Instead she fell into a deep fever and could not be woken, it was while she was in my care that I discovered a most shocking fact, the lady was no longer human she had been changed into an elf."

I do believe they raised the roof with their cries of disbelief and shock at this little revelation

Lord Elrond is such a drama king

"The lady lay delirious and fevered for a week before she regained consciousness and was quite as confused as I about the cause of her transformation. As she gained her current form in my realm and she has no family here to call her own I have taken it upon myself to adopt the lady as my foster daughter so any insult to her is an insult to me,"

He glared at everybody daring them to insult him

Like anybody would be stupid enough

"She has spent these past months recovering under the care and protection of lord Glorfindel and will be leaving tomorrow to visit the lady of the golden wood to see if we can learn more about the reasons for her transformation. I ask that you make her welcome and do not question her about her change but allow her to enjoy her newly recovered health and this celebration in honour of her bravery"

Then the guy at the door did that thing with his staff and yelled out

"The lady Anwe of the house of Elrond and Lord Glorfindel of Gondolin"

Then the doors opened and they came in

It was so funny

There was the big scary dude

And he is, big I mean

And there standing beside him looking ridiculously tiny was Miss Evans

Lady Anwe

Yes yes alright

Thank you

Anyway all the people were so shocked they just stood there with their mouths hanging open and staring

I guess they were all expecting some big brave butch woman

Not our little lady Anwe

Who to be fair reinvents the concept of petite

Anyway after a while the party got underway

With lots of dancing

And drinking on the part of the dwarves

All the elves sang songs

And Lady Anwe danced as well

Actually I think she danced with everyone

Including the hobbits and the dwarves

A lot of the elves that danced with her looked like they had poles up their asses

And something nasty smelling under their noses

But scary dude was nice

And Legolas and Estel were too

And everyone got out of the way and watched their manners after Lord Elrond danced with her and not only smiled

But laughed as well at something she said

I think most of the uptight elves nearly had coronaries then and there

The party wound down fairly early since we were leaving in the morning

But it was still fun

And I really think we aught to watch scary dude

His name is Glorfindel silly

Yeah anyway scary dude

Sigh

Cos he was being a little too friendly with Miss Evans for my liking if you get my meaning.

You are such a conspiracy theorist

Thank you

Anyway then we went to bed

To sleep

Cos we were going to be doing loads of physical activity in the morning and we needed our beauty rest.

Miss Evans says she will tell you about the trip

Since she doesn't trust us not to get it all mixed up

And make it sound like it took two days when it really nearly took a month

Toodles

Bye

o0o

**Thank you all for reviewing and I hope to here from you soon with your views on this chappie and hopefully some volunteers to be beta readers, lol TTFN tat a for now. lol**


	18. I cant remember what i called it

**Ch: 19 A leave taking, and song making.**

**Sorry about the wait but I moved into my grandmothers and she doesn't have the internet yet. (I'm working on it) anyway this is in Anwe's point of view as they say goodbye to everyone and finally get the journey underway. And since I'm told that this is a bad Mary sue I'm gona go whole hog on the sueness and make the girls all sing, its just not a sue if they don't sing, lol.**

**Chapter proverb:** _**Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light**_**. (That is so me lol)**

**Disclaimer: Can't be bothered to come up with a funny way to say that I don't own anything in this story but my own characters so live with it.**

o0o

The next morning we were all up early with our bags gathered together and strapped to the pack horses. We had a last minute surprise as a group of four rangers who were in Imladris, decided to accompany us as far as Rohan. They wished to deliver a message to the king. They were rather stoic and silent to begin with, but they loosened up rather quickly in the company of the twins. It was either that or become eternal victims of their pranks.

The goodbyes themselves were harder than I thought they would be. Erestor came to see us of and got rather choked up about losing his favourite student. He seemed very surprised when I went up and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. (Elves just look so cute when they are startled) The hobbits were there and I just couldn't stop myself giving Frodo an extra hug and wishing him good luck on his journey. I mean the poor guy was going to go through hell literally. The least I could do, if I couldn't give him any specific warnings, was wish him luck.

The girls were absolutely distraught and had to be physically restrained by the twins until I threatened to tie them to the undersides of their horses if they didn't behave. After that, things went a lot smoother. I swear that the elves singing in the trees as we left were more rejoicing in the twin's absence than wishing us luck. My suspicion was later confirmed when I asked Glorfindel to translate for me.

The trip itself for the most part was fairly tedious for the first few days, very routine, ride, stop, eat, ride, stop, eat, sleep, get up, eat, ride some more. And naturally the girls just had to do something to alleviate their boredom, so they asked Glorfindel if they could sing to pass the time. Unfortunately I wasn't there to prevent him from agreeing to a torture worse than any Souron could devise.

It wasn't that the girls couldn't sing, in fact they could sing rather well and could to a very nice duet when they concentrated. It was the songs they chose to sing that made it unbearable. And so for the first time in the history of Arda the strains of "The song that doesn't end" rang through the forests of middle earth, for a whole day. When they tired of that it was "The song that gets on everybody's nerves". By this time, the novelty had worn of and everybody was ready to strangle them. When they finished their rendition of "100,000 bottles of beer on the wall" we were all ready to strangle Glorfindel, Balrog Slayer or no for telling the girls they could sing. It didn't finish there by a long shot. Next in line was "Row row row your boat" with the occasional deviation to throwing teachers overboard, that had Glorfindel glaring at them fiercely.

Finally I broke in with my own variation just to get some variety,

"Roll roll roll the joint,

Twist it at the ends,

Light it up and have a puff,

And pass it to your friends."

We had about ten seconds of blessed silence and then they started singing the Barney song in retaliation. It was getting to be a very long trip! Thankfully for all our sanity by the time the twins finished their special extended rendition of "There's a hole at the bottom of the sea" everyone was desperate enough to volunteer to sing songs of their own for the girl's entertainment.

We were treated to a wonderful selection of Elvish and Gondorian ballads and rounds. Glorfindel even sang a couple of old songs from his time in Gondolin to make up for starting the whole mess. He has the best voice, a wonderfully smooth bass rumble that brings to mind hot chocolate and thick woolly blankets. I could have listened to it all day, no problems.

I thought I had done rather well to escape everybody's notice during the impromptu sing along and figured I was safe from being made to do my part. Right up until Elrohir opened his big mouth and suggested I sing a song from my homeland since the girls had already demonstrated so many children's songs. Naturally when I tried to decline the girls ganged up on me and insisted that I had to sing, saying that I had a wonderful voice. And I should stop being a scaredy cat and other such rot.

Not only that, the girls insisted that since most of the boys songs had been ballads about battles and journeys I had to sing a love song -- a love song, to a group of soldiers, around a camp fire, in the middle of a forest. I was not a happy camper in any sense of the word. I finally caved when both sets of twins pulled the megga double teary puppy dog eyes on me, I'm going to get them back for that later.

My absolute favourite love song is from the movie "Shall We Dance" called "The book of love" and since I remembered all of the words I sang that. It's a lovely, slow, soft song about a girl encouraging her man to propose to her. It makes me cry every time I hear it. I've put the words at the bottom of the page in case you don't recognise the song and want to get an idea of what it's about.

The elvish twins really liked it and got me to write out the words. They tried to translate it into elvish and put it to music, so they could say they wrote it the next time they were in the Hall of Fire. The rangers clapped enthusiastically and the other twins tried to demand an encore but I threatened to sew their lips together if they didn't shut up so they stopped. Glorfindel just grinned and shook his head at their antics. He told me that my voice was different to that of any Elleth he had ever listened to. I think it was a nice way of saying I really couldn't sing, but I didn't mind.

While the trip was technically successful and our camps comfortable up to even elvish standards, one thing was for sure and that was that my idea of comfortable and theirs was wildly different.  
It was the one area where I had some sympathy for the girls, I am not a camper by any stretch of the imagination. I have gone camping maybe three times in my life and did not like it. I like my little luxuries like mattresses, and showers and towels, and by all that's holy -- toilets and toilet paper! Also I don't like bugs, lizards and fuzzy animals I can manage, but I don't do bugs and they were everywhere. Luckily elves seem to have a kind of inbuilt mozzie repellent so I didn't get eaten alive.

After a week the girls were constantly whinging for a hot bath and it took all my self control not to join them. I stank of horse sweat and leather and dirt. I was so glad that elves didn't sweat or I would have been enough to repel a skunk.

The days passed agonisingly slowly for the most part. Sometimes Glorfindel would take me ahead of the others and give me riding lessons, mainly focusing on how to stay on while Tiny did the battle moves he had been trained to do. He also taught me how to fall off without breaking anything as well as the beginnings of how to fight on horseback. Evidently we were getting close to a place called the Gap of Rohan and it was most likely we would run into trouble there as anywhere.

Gradually the forest gave way to a rocky mountain pass and then the rocks gave way to the rolling grasslands of Rohan. Everyone was very relieved that we had managed to avoid any encounters with any hostile forces, but it was slightly confusing too.

Normally there are at least bandits who would have attacked a well equipped group like ourselves, but it was decided that the number of fighting men in the group must have discouraged any attack.

The rangers left us as we crossed the river, with lordly farewells for the twins with much bowing and kissing of hands and milady'ing. It gave them swelled heads for days, right up until I pointed out that they were probably so polite in their farewells because they were happy to be rid of them after being forced to endure a five day concert.

Finally we were about two days away from Lothlorien, according to Glorfindel, and we were all relieved to have made it without having to find out if I could wield a sword in an actual battle. But that was when our luck ran out, we never did find out what they were doing so close to Lothlorien or how they had been missed by the patrols but we were attacked by a group of about twenty uruk hai. Now normally for three fully trained elven warriors this would not have been a huge problem especially since they were mounted on elvish warhorses and the orcs were not. But they had the twins and me to protect as well, not just themselves and that made it tricky.

They cut down the first three easily enough but after that the rest had crowded around and they were hard pressed to keep them from us. At this point Tiny took things into his own hands, err, hooves and entered the fray. I think I did very well to stay on his back for a whole thirty seconds, a rearing and plunging warhorse is harder to stay on than a bucking bronco! I was very glad of the lessons in falling of without breaking anything that Glorfindel had given me earlier in the journey.

After landing on my ass with a resounding thud (that was getting to be a habit) I picked myself up and managed to dodge fighting elves and horses and orcs and got over to where the twins were desperately trying to control their normal riding horses. Their horses were close to bolting from the sounds of battle and the smell of blood. I grabbed both their halters and held them still and told the girls to crouch low to make them smaller targets for the archers.

Glorfindel was fighting in front of us blocking three at a time to keep them back from us girls and the twins were either side of us keeping the girls safe and Tiny was busy breaking skulls behind us. I didn't even notice that the orcs had reinforcements until one of the ugly little ape-like creatures ducked under the belly of both Elrohir and Rachel's horses and stabbed me from behind.

Being stabbed is a strange sensation, you read in adventure novels a great many different sensations associated with it from tearing burning pain to numbness and coldness. I suppose the variety suggests that it is different for each person dependant on the circumstances. For me in this case there was at first the sensation of being prodded hard on my right side almost on top of my lowest rib then an odd backwards sliding sensation almost as if the blade was being pulled out instead of plunged in, almost painless and strangely surreal. Then as it grazed along my rib and I heard an awful scraping sound almost like when you grind your teeth, then there was a jerk as the blade was pulled out and I felt suddenly light-headed.

I couldn't seem to move and I was beginning to feel limp, I let go of the girl's horses as they reflexively pulled up and away from the smell of my blood. At this point, I think the girls must have screamed because Glorfindel turned around and stabbed the offending ape clean through, but all I could hear at this point was a strange roaring in my ears and I was conscious of a dull throb beginning in my side.

My vision was beginning to go fuzzy around the edges and I was detachedly aware that this meant I was losing consciousness and relaxed gratefully into the blackness to escape the growing awareness of pain and once again passed out.

To be continued…

(Evil Grins)

**Song lyrics (by I have no idea taken from the sound track to "Shall We Dance")**

_The book of love is long and boring  
No one can lift the damn thing  
it's full of charts and facts and figures  
and instructions for dancing_

_But I  
I love it when you read to me  
and you  
you can read me anything_

_  
The book of love has music in it  
in fact that's where music comes from  
some of it is just transcendental  
some of it is just really dumb_

_But I  
I love it when you sing to me  
and you  
you can sing me anything_

_The book of love is long and boring  
and written very long ago  
it's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes  
and things we're all too young to know_

_But I  
I love it when you give me things  
And you  
You ought to give me wedding rings  
And I  
I love it when you give me things  
And you  
You ought to give me wedding rings  
And I  
I love it when you give me things  
And you  
You ought to give me wedding rings  
You ought to give me wedding rings_

**I just love this song I could listen to it over and over again without getting bored.**

**I just love the idea of elves being driven insane by travelling songs (sings)  
there's a hole at the bottom of the sea  
there's a hole at the bottom of the sea  
there's a hole  
there's a hole  
there's a hole at the bottom of the sea, lol  
Thanks for your patience with my erratic updates hopefully I'll have more for you soon. TTFN (ta ta for now)**


	19. Why you DON’T want to piss of Glorfindel

**Ch 20: Why you DON'T want to piss of Glorfindel. **

**This is in Glorfindel's point of view, it recaps some stuff but only very briefly and then we find out what happened after our dear lady Anwe passes out and just how bad her injury actually is. **

**On another topic I have over 200 reviews for this story so I think I'm due a celebratory stupid chapter. So anyone with any good ideas for something random and stupid for the characters to do that has nothing to do with the story so far include it in your review and I'll make a chapter out of the best suggestion.**

**Chapter proverb: **_**He who laughs last didn't get it. -Helen Giangregorio**_

**Disclaimer: **_**a small humanoid creature that seems to be made up entirely of bellybutton lint walks onto the stage and speaks in a shockingly loud deep voice,**_

"**I am the lint from ETphonehome's pockets, bellybutton and underarms and if you sue her I will be coming to live with you, now we wouldn't want that would we?" **

_**In defiance of all anatomical certainties the creature manages to wink without having any visible eyes and saunters of the stage. ETphonehome emerges cautiously from behind the curtains glancing around suspiciously. **_

"**Well that was disturbing, I mail away for an automated disclaimer machine and I get an envelope with a paper in it with a word written on it. I read the word and all the lint in my house gathers together to make that freaky little thing and now I can't get rid of him, it, whatever. And its **_**growing,**_** bye I've got to go and find a way to exterminate the creepy little bugger.**

o0o

For the most part our journey from Imladris to Lothlorien was uneventful save for my unfortunate mistake in dealing with the boredom of two mortal girls. This almost resulted in my death, a second time, at the hands of my travelling companions driven mad by mortal travelling songs.

Luckily I was able to induce the rest of my companions to sing and distract our resident divas from their agonising concert. Most surprising was Lady Anwe's contribution. It would seem that she has kept her mortal voice for the most part, and it was just as her size suggested. Soft and breathy and gently haunting - a pleasure to listen to and refreshingly different from the clear high tones most common to young elleths. Although I think she may have taken my compliment the wrong way.

As we neared Lothlorien I began to grow suspicious that we had not encountered any trouble, with the brewing war we should have had at least one encounter with the enemy. Finally two days slow ride out of Lothlorien, one of the places I would have least expected an attack, we were surprised by a group of twenty uruk hai. They came at us quickly and viciously, but their objective was obviously the women rather than myself and the twins. The first wave was easily dealt with but then they circled around and started to surround us. My heart stopped for a moment when Tiny joined the battle with Lady Anwe still on his back. The situation did not improve when I saw her thrown to the ground. I was able to relax somewhat and concentrate on the battle when she made her way to the girls horses and held them calm as the battle became more intense.

Just as we were beginning to make progress in reducing the number of urks another group of ordinary orcs arrived and we began to be more hard pressed to keep them back. Suddenly one of the twins let out a piercing scream. I turned around to see that an orc had managed to slip past Elrohir to stab Lady Anwe in the back.

Time seemed to freeze for a moment as I watched the red stain blossom on the front of her tunic as she swayed and began to fall. Motion slowly reasserted itself as I lunged forward to stab the vile creature responsible and turned to face the remaining filth. A red haze fell across my eyes and I rejoined the battle with renewed vigour. It seemed to take only a moment to dispatch the remaining orcs, but the twins told me it took about five minutes to obliterate the filthy vermin.

As the last body fell I came back to myself. I ran to where lady Anwe had fallen to assess the damage. The twins were already there in full healer mode. Her tunic had been pulled up to reveal an ugly wound in her right side bleeding freely. The girls were both nearly hysterical and the twins had set them the task of caring for the horses while they saw to Lady Anwe's injury.

Thankfully it was not immediately life threatening, the blade originally intended to angle upwards between her ribs into her lungs and heart had glanced of her rib and instead only slid under the skin and muscle of her right side following the line of her lowest rib. It was however a messy wound made with an orc blade which meant it could well be poisoned. The twins roughly bound the wound and I held her in front of me on my horse as we made our way to the nearest clearing far enough away from the battle to be safe and we quickly set up camp.

Elladan immediately erected a makeshift tent and Elrohir lay Lady Anwe in it and began furiously brewing medicines and preparing bandages. Surprisingly enough the girls after digging through their bags brought the twins a bottle of what they said was a powerful disinfectant from their world, a strange brown liquid called Dettol. The twins after testing it deemed it to be perfect and promptly put it to good use.

One thing that they could not understand was how quickly she had lost consciousness and why she had yet to wake up. That question was answered in the next few hours. The wound was poisoned and Lady Anwe had fallen into a fever while the wound itself was red and weeping with veins of grey poison creeping outwards from the edges. The twin's faces were grave. When I asked what could be done they only shook their heads and said they had done all they could with what they had.

The feeling of uselessness was unbearable so I suggested an idea that had occurred to me, "I could ride ahead to Lothlorien with her, the healers there would have a much greater chance of helping her with the proper tools and medicines."

"It could be dangerous to move her, it could aggravate the wound."

"It would be even more dangerous to stay here and risk being attacked again!"

So it was decided, Anwe was wrapped tightly in blankets for the journey and tied securely to my chest, as I sat on my horse to keep her from being jolted off. I said my farewells to the girls and assured them that I would do everything in my power to ensure the safety of their teacher.

It was one of the most nerve racking rides I have ever experienced, after a few hours Anwe's fever progressed to delirium and she began to thrash against her bindings making it nearly impossible to go any faster than a walk. By the time darkness fell she had quieted and I was able to make much better time. Finally as dawn was breaking I came within site of the borders of Lothlorien. As we rode under the trees I kept a sharp watch out for the Galadhrim guards that were sure to be watching.

After only a few minutes I spotted a group watching us from the trees and I called out to them,

"Greetings from Imladris, I am Lord Glorfindel, I come with lady Anwe to seek counsel of the lady Galadriel. During our journey we were attacked and the Lady Anwe was injured and requires immediate aid."

The reaction was immediate as the group of five grey clad warriors dropped from the trees to offer assistance. Between us we created a makeshift stretcher to lay her on and with one of us to each corner we proceeded towards Caras Galadhon at a rapid pace. Within a few hours we had reached the city and within a few minutes of arriving Lady Anwe was being rushed to the healing house to be treated.

The next few hours were tense as the healers tried to stop the progress of the poison and close the wound. After a time it was heard that The Lady herself was assisting the healers in their attempts to repair the damage already done. At dawn the next day Elladan and Elrohir arrived with a pair of very pale and subdued twins who were quickly chivvied off to bathe and to bed by a kindly nurse.

It wasn't until late the next afternoon that lady Anwe showed signs of waking and all of us rushed to the infirmary to see her. It was a scene strangely reminiscent of her first meeting with all of us, with her lying in the infirmary bed and the rest of us standing around staring at her. We waited anxiously for her to come fully awake so we could find out if her mind had been damaged by the extreme fever she had endured.

**And I'm gonna stop there just because I want to torture you all, aren't I mean? now beta-ed, well enough, I trust. And finaly fixed and reposted.**

**See you next time I hope. TTFN**


	20. Not a patient patient

**Ch 21: Telepathy is creepy.**

**This is so cool I have three chapters written in advance and it makes updating so much easier. In this chapter Anwe wakes up and encounters creepy telepaths, Celeborn encounters a pair of twins worse than his grandsons and Haldir, Rumil and Orophin decide to find out what has Glorfindel so distracted that he hasn't come to say hello.**

**Chapter proverb:** _**He who laughs last, didn't get it.**_

**Disclaimer: **_**The landscape is littered with smoking craters and blasted houses,**_

_**ETphonehome swaggers onto the stage carrying a smoking bazooka and looking pleased with herself. **_

"**I got it at last, it took a few goes but I finally hit the fluffy little freak of nature"**

_**She stops suddenly and looks crestfallen,**_

"**That means I have to do the disclaimer myself doesn't it? Drat Drat double Drat."**

_**Glares at all lawyers reading this,**_

"**I don't own anything but my characters so bug of unless you want me to blast you next."**

_**Pats bazooka suggestively and glares.**_

o0o

For the second time since my arrival in middle earth I, Lady Anwe (aka, Alicia), woke up alone in a strange white room with the unpleasant sensation of hurting all over. This was getting to be a bit of a habit and I sent a silent plea to the powers that be that it not happen again any time soon. Waking up to pain is an experience that I would gladly have never repeated ever again. The pain this time seemed to be centred mainly in my right side and I began to have vague recollections of orcs and a battle.

I groaned out loud as I remembered that I had been stabbed and I tried to look under the blankets to assess the damage. Moments later I was smothered by three frantic healers jabbering rapidly in elvish. I was poked and prodded and dosed with foul tasting concoctions and tucked in so tightly I couldn't move my arms. Then they all left as quickly as they had come and I was alone again.

Needless to say I was a little dazed by it all after enjoying Glorfindel's calm and quiet bedside manner during my last convalescence. I didn't know quite what to make of it, so I relaxed back onto my over plumped cushions and dozed of again. I don't know how much later it was that I became aware of other people in the room with me. I blinked my eyes open and glanced around quite stunned.

Not only were there both sets of twins and Glorfindel but also three female elves who were obviously healers and one fellow who was definitely some kind of nobility.

They all stood silently staring at me in obvious concern for the most part seemingly waiting for me to say or do something so I did.

"What's the matter, I didn't grow a second head while I was sleeping did I?"

The girls grinned and cheered, Glorfindel and the twins looked confused and the healers and the random noble fellow all looked faintly concerned. I grinned at them,

"I am quite sane, or at least as sane as I can be after enduring a week of these two brats singing, so I'm no madder than anyone who travelled with them."

This seemed to reassure Glorfindel and the twins but the healers were still frowning and the noble fellow looked dazed. So I figured I would get my own questions in before they started asking theirs,

"So what exactly happened? I remember up as far as the nasty little creature sneaking up behind me and sticking me in the back and getting very closely acquainted with the forest floor but after that everything is pretty much a blank."

This seemed to be the cue the healers were waiting for and they rushed forward fussing with my pillows, blankets and bandages until I was propped sitting up surrounded by a cocoon of blankets. Now I was getting somewhat irritated by the bustling and the constant fussing but I kept my mouth shut. They were only trying to help after all. They were jabbering at me in elvish again and they were obviously getting frustrated that I wasn't answering them so I turned to Glorfindel.

"Could you let them know that I don't know enough elvish yet to understand their questions?"

The healers looked affronted that I had talked over them to someone else but their expressions turned to shocked pity as Glorfindel explained to them that I didn't yet speak elvish. The healers then turned on Glorfindel and began shooting rapid questions at him, he turned to me and explained,

"They want to know what injury you had recently that made you so weak and susceptible to the orc poison. They say they looked for a scar from a wound but could find none and they want to know if it was another kind of injury that they will have to treat differently."

"I suppose you had better explain to them exactly what happened, you probably understand it better than I do anyway"

Glorfindel nodded and to my surprise took the healers over to the noble fellow who was still standing perfectly still over near one wall and began to talk rapidly to them in elvish with the occasional interjection from the twins, I guessed the noble must be someone of importance and a sneaking suspicion crept into my mind. It was confirmed a moment later when a laughing voice inside my head began to speak,

"Yes child, it is my dear husband Celeborn who speaks now with Lord Glorfindel, but the question remains unanswered who are you?"

I figured it would look strange if I started talking out loud so I thought my answer in the general direction the voice seemed to be coming from,

"Well I suppose you got the message from Lord Elrond? Well you would know that my name won't really mean anything to you aside from being something to call me by, in full it is Alicia Cecilia Evans. I'm told that the closest translation in elvish for that is Anwe which I have adopted as my name so I don't stand out too much. I was human and now I seem to be an elf. I have no idea how it happened that was what I was hoping to ask you."

There was silence in my head, only broken by my faint awareness of a still fierce discussion going on between the healers and my favourite elf lords. I waited patiently for her answer, when it finally came it was rather confusing,

"Your mind is shadowed in places child and I cannot reach your memories of your change. I must meditate on this and I will speak to you again when your health is improved."

With that she was gone and I breathed a sigh of relief, having someone other than yourself in your head is a rather unsettling experience.

During my little impromptu internal discussion, Glorfindel and the twins were still discussing the nature of my various ills with the healers. As I watched them, I became aware of a truly frightening fact, the girls were nowhere to be seen. None of the others seemed to have noticed, so I cleared my throat loudly to get their attention. They all looked up at me startled by the disturbance and not a little annoyed. I got straight to the point,

"Sorry to interrupt but has anybody else noticed that the twins are gone?"

Glorfindel, Celeborn and the three healers glanced at the Elladan and Elrohir in confusion and then glanced back at me, obviously wondering if I was hallucinating. I sighed in exasperation,

"Not those twins, the ones with green hair."

Celeborn and the healers looked confused but Glorfindel and the boys looked around at the absence of twin-ness with looks of horror on their faces. Glorfindel turned to the twins quickly and said,

"Ill finish up here, you two go and find them before they do something to get themselves and us in trouble."

They nodded and dashed out of the room so fast they actually stirred a breeze in the still air. Celeborn still seemed confused and turned towards Glorfindel in a questioning manner,

"They are the lady's charges my lord, two mortal girls twin sisters and almost as much trouble as your grandsons at the same age."

As understanding dawned he was suddenly concerned,

"Will the city be safe from them? The boys nearly caused a panic many times at that age."

"Lords Elladan and Elrohir have proven themselves capable of controlling their wilder impulses, they will not cause a panic but it might be wise to warn every one to be cautious of pranks for the time being."

Celeborn nodded and called for a nurse outside of the door and spoke rapidly for a few moments in elvish and sent them on their way. While he was giving his message Glorfindel moved from his place near the door and sat in a chair next to my bed. After sending his message, Lord Celeborn sat in another chair next to him both facing me the healers all stood around the other side. They all had rather grim looks on their faces and I began to suspect that I wasn't going to like what they were going to say.

**o0o**

(Haldir's pov)

I am Haldir of Lorien March-Warden to the lady Galadriel. My dear friend Lord Glorfindel has asked that I write of my first encounter with the gentle lady Anwe.

We had received word some days ago that we were to watch for Lord Glorfindel and Lords Elladan and Elrohir and three female companions who were due to arrive. All patrols were on the lookout including my own and my brothers' but it was one of the other patrols that encountered Glorfindel and his injured companion. We were not informed of his arrival as we were still out on patrol. We knew nothing of it until early the next morning when my patrol encountered Elladan and Elrohir and the twin mortal girls and they enquired about the well-being of their companion.

As soon as they arrived they were rushed to the infirmary to have their minor wounds tended to and the children were taken away to rest. We then heard that Glorfindel had been in the city since the previous evening and had not left the infirmary since arriving. There were rumours that he had arrived with a gravely injured child and would not leave her side until she was pronounced out of danger. As it was now my time for leave while another rotation of the guard went out to the border I planned to meet up with my brothers and after a good rest and a hot bath to go and find out exactly why Glorfindel seemed so reluctant to leave the infirmary.

Late the next afternoon, now thoroughly rested and clean my brothers and I headed for the guest quarters normally given to visitors from Imladris looking for Glorfindel and the twins. We were very surprised to find that though the twins had indeed slept there, they had been in the infirmary most of the day waiting for their companion to wake up.

We were now very confused, if Glorfindel was simply escorting a group to see The Lady he would have completed his mission as soon as they were given into the healers care and been free to take his ease. That not only he, but the twins, also were so concerned for her well-being suggested that the child was more than she seemed. Now determined to get to the bottom of this mystery we headed over to the infirmary to see for ourselves what all the fuss was about.

The problems began when we started asking the healers which room the child that Glorfindel had brought was staying. No one seemed to know anything about any child, aside from a pair of trouble making twins with green hair who were definitely not injured. By the time it was fully dark all we had found out was that the supposed child was in fact a young lady who it seemed had been important enough to merit the aid of The Lady in her healing and a visit from Lord Celeborn who still had not left. Since no one was willing to give three males directions to a young woman's room we were about ready to give up until the morning.

Then completely by chance as we were leaving I heard Glorfindel speaking in a room we were passing. The door was open so I glanced in and what I saw was extremely confusing.

Glorfindel and Lord Celeborn sat in chairs to the side of an infirmary bed and three healers hovered around like large white clad birds with their feathers ruffled at the idea of the two uninjured males invading their domain. The centre of attention was however the most intriguing of the group.

An extremely small dark haired elleth sat propped up in the bed, cocooned in blankets up to her neck looking rather disgruntled. They must have just finished saying something that displeased her since she glared balefully at Glorfindel with her wide brown eyes and to my deep amusement he winced and looked apologetic.

I must have made some small noise of amusement because I was quite suddenly staring directly into the small lady's eyes myself and to my great surprise she did not look away. She continued to stare confidently at me and after a moment of silence she raised one eyebrow in obvious enquiry. I decided immediately that this tiny frail looking lady was definitely more than what she seemed.

**o0o**

**Its amazing I had a whole two weeks without the internet so far and I have written three chapters for this story, one chapter for my other lotr's story and a 3500 word HP one shot. At this rate I'll have updates for the whole semester without having to worry about taking time out of assessments to write. I hope you are all still enjoying reading this as much as I am enjoying writing it.**

**Next chapter: Glorfindel explains Anwe to Haldir and co, what was it the healers had to say that Anwe didn't like and what have the twins done now to already be considered trouble makers.**


	21. I'm Back everybody!

Ch 22: Too much of a good thing… 

**Yay UNI is back in full swing (note the sarcasm) and I still don't have the internet (although I probably do if I've posted this I didn't have on the 7****th**** when I wrote this and wont have until the 14****th**** ) Anyway in this chapter we find out just what they had to say that lady Anwe didn't like, Anwe gets introduced to Haldir and co and we find out what the girls have done this time to get pegged as trouble makers.**

**Chapter proverb:** _**There are three types of people you don't piss off, Custom Officials, Air Marshals, and Police Officers. Because they can say funny things like **__**'Cavity Search'**___

**Disclaimer: ETphonehome's new pet frog: "**_**Ribbit, Ribbit, Croak, Ribbit, croak Croak, Ribbit, Croak Croak Croak, Ribbit**_**"**

_**Looks pleased with itself in the soggy way frogs do and hops away.**_

**ETphonehome: What? I thought that the lawyers would be able to understand someone as cold blooded as they are,,, maybe next time I'll use the snake, (**_**grins insanely**_**) now on with the story…**

o0o

**(Anwe's pov)**

My feeling was most definitely proved right, and not liking was probably an understatement. I was informed in no uncertain terms that I was not to do anything strenuous including dress myself or change or get up without calling a nurse to help me, for at least two weeks.

Not only that I would not be able to get out of bed at all for at least one week, that meant the elvish equivalent of a bed pan (shudder). And even after that I would only be permitted to be moved to some stationary place like a couch or chair. Evidently the injury in my side combined with the poison had been much worse than it should have been because I still wasn't properly recovered from the last dratted bout of fever.

And to add irritation to injury I was to stay in the infirmary the whole time. That meant that I would be in the care of the cackling flock of hens that were the nurses, for the entire time. I was most definitely going to go mad, I didn't even have a book to read and the twins were going to be visiting.

I resigned myself to an uncomfortable two weeks being clucked over but I thought it only fair to warn them of my less than sunny disposition during any extended convalescence.

"I am going to get very frustrated with bed rest really quickly, I am not a very patient patient most of the time. Last time I was too tired to make a fuss, but to be stuck in bed again so soon is going to drive me crazy."

Glorfindel looked shocked and inquired,

"Surely Anwe you will welcome the rest after such a long journey?"

I gave a short laugh,

"I spent weeks in bed in Imladris and you and the twins cosseted me the entire trip. You can have too much of a good thing and I have had enough bed-rest to last me at least a mortal lifetime. I am going to be bored out of my mind. One can only sleep so much before one starts to lay awake all night because of it."

Glorfindel smiled gently in commiseration and assured me he would visit regularly to help save me from boredom. I told him he had better or I would be likely to smother the nurses with their own cushions. I think that surprised him a little and I think he finally realized just how irritated I was to be cooped up again without even being able to have a decent bath.

It was about then that I noticed that there was someone at the door, not really at the door more like peeking around the door to see who was inside. I caught his eye and waited for him to explain himself. When he didn't immediately say anything I raised an eyebrow at him. By this time Glorfindel and Celeborn had noticed that I was distracted and turned to follow the direction of my gaze to see what had caught my eye…

**(Haldir's pov)**

Both Glorfindel and Lord Celeborn turned around to see what had caught the lady's attention and were obviously surprised to find me as the cause of the interruption.

"Haldir, when did you get back from your patrol my friend?"

Glorfindel at least seemed glad to see me even though Lord Celeborn looked sternly disapproving of my interrupting, so I replied,

"I've been here all day, I heard you were here and I have been searching for you. Rumil and Orophin are with me and are keen to greet you as well, we have not seen you in many years my friend and wanted to greet you but could not find you anywhere."

Glorfindel grinned but to my surprise he turned to the elleth in the bed and asked her permission to invite us into her room. When she smiled and agreed easily I saw something of what must have caught Glorfindel's interest with this lady. Her smile was captivating, it lit up her small face and made her eyes sparkle, momentarily revealing a hidden beauty that could not otherwise be seen.

I took careful note of the rapt look on Glorfindel's face as he spoke to the lady for future reference and paid close attention to the introductions.

"This is Lady Anwe of Imladris, foster daughter to Lord Elrond. She has come to us under unusual circumstances. Originally we came seeking the wisdom of Lady Galadriel on a puzzle in Lady Anwe's past but we were attacked and the lady injured as you can see."

At this the lady spoke,

"Yes, I forgot to look behind me and paid the price, the healers tell me that I won't be allowed out of bed for a whole week and even then I will only be allowed to be lifted into a chair or couch! It's terribly inconvenient."

This was said with a grimace of distaste showing her obvious irritation with the situation.

Glorfindel grinned and continued, "This is Haldir and his brothers, Rumil and Orophin. They are all wardens in the Galadhrim Guard of Lorien."

We all bowed politely, and she smiled a strange secretive smile, as though she knew something we did not. Then she greeted us in return. I saw both of them raise an eyebrow at the way her face was transformed with her smile and the grin they shared as they glanced at our mutual friend, no doubt rehearsing lines for the teasing that was to come. Introductions out of the way, I ventured to mention the reason we wished to find him.

"We were looking for you my friend, in the hope that you would share a meal with us and share with us the happenings of these past years. It has been a long time since you have visited us and we want to know what has kept you from us."

Glorfindel promptly answered that he had been planning to dine with lady Anwe and Lord Celeborn tonight. He quickly asked her if she would mind having extra company for her meal. Her reply sent both Rumil and Orophin into gales of laughter,

"Of course I won't mind the extra company, after travelling for weeks with only the twins to keep me company some fresh faces will be most welcome."

She looked confused as my brothers tried to control their mirth and seemed to consider what she had just said. Suddenly realisation dawned, she flushed and glared at them both comically.

"Not those twins! The other twins I came with, the twin girls. Their conversations consisted of a grand total of three topics, hair, clothes and their own romantic aspirations. Since the first two were severely limited by the fact of us travelling I had to endure weeks of hearing all about their various suitors, while everyone else was lucky enough to be able to disappear hunting or scouting whenever the girls got insufferable."

She glared meaningfully at Glorfindel. My brothers only laughed harder and to my surprise Glorfindel looked slightly embarrassed and interjected,

"And I must live with the shame of making a dire tactical error in the handling of twin mortal girls. I gave them permission to sing to pass the time"

At this pronouncement they both shuddered and chuckled at a shared memory, I decided I had to hear the whole of that story.

Chairs were brought and a small table and a meal was served. The discussion ranged over a number of topics, but the most intriguing was Lady Anwe's origins. My brothers and I were taken into our Lords' confidence on the matter almost immediately. After hearing her story I looked on the tiny female with a great deal more respect. It would have taken a great deal of character to stand up to a creature like HuiSelde and to do so in defence of two such foolish people, of no blood relation, showed a depth of kindness not often seen.

The lady soon became fatigued so we finished quickly and said our goodnights. We arranged to meet with Glorfindel the following day, after he had taken some rest from his journey. The healers fussed around laying the lady down and cocooning her in blankets and pillows and then shooed us all out into the corridor admonishing us to let the lady rest.

That night as I prepared for bed, I reflected that although it had taken so long to find Glorfindel it had been a very informative day. I looked forward to meeting with him on the morrow to discuss his own impressions of the newest addition to the house of Elrond.

**(Twins (**_**Elladan & Elrohir**_**) pov)**

Since two people have already talked of our arrival in Lothlorien we will instead go straight to what those little green haired monsters did as soon as they knew lady Anwe was going to live.

They didn't waste any time at all but went straight into their mischief.

They wanted to climb the trees.

Of all things.

So what did they do but step of a walkway hundreds of feet in the air and climb out onto a branch.

Then in the irritatingly inevitable manner we have all come to associate with the twins, they got stuck.

On a single branch.

Between two walkways.

Over one hundred meters from any other branches.

On a branch barely strong enough to hold their own weight.

It took us hours to get them down.

And not before accumulating an audience.

Who blocked the walkway.

That got people who needed to use it very cranky.

That isn't even counting the person whose window the branch was in front of.

By the time we got them down it was time to send them back to their room to eat.

And hopefully sleep.

When we got back to Anwe's room she was already asleep so we headed to our own rooms for a much needed rest.

Glorfindel told us that he had organized to meet with Haldir and his brothers the next day.

And they had been kind enough to include us in the invitation.

The only problem being that we would have to baby-sit the girls again at the same time.

But we figured we would palm them of onto Rumil and Orophin once we got there. They wouldn't know what hit them. And they won't dare get revenge for fear of us making them baby-sit again.

So we finally got back to our rooms and got our evening meal. We noticed no one saved us anything hot, despite the effort we put into keeping those two terrors alive!

You would think they would appreciate how hard we worked to keep them out of their way.

And out of trouble.

The fact that we don't often succeed is immaterial.

Anyway the next day we were meeting Haldir and his brothers early at the training fields, so we went to our rest in eager anticipation of being able to torture our friends.

**(Man the pov changes a lot this chapter :) lol)  
**

**(Anwe's pov again)**

After Haldir and his brother's introduction and the following meal and discussion, the twins had still not returned. I was beginning to worry about what they could have gotten up to. I hoped they hadn't done anything too disruptive since they really could get into serious trouble here. Glorfindel had told me that the Lorien elves were not as tolerant of mortals as those in Imladris. It turned out I wouldn't find that out until the next day but I would most definitely wish I hadn't asked.

In the meantime the pillows were very soft, the blankets were warm and whatever the vile herbal concoction was that they had given me had blessedly numbed the pain in my side. It was also making me drowsy so I gave in to the inevitable and allowed myself to fall into a deep restful sleep.

**  
**


	22. to tyred to think up a witty name

**Ch 23: I AM NOT INFATUATED!!!!!!!**

**00 i compleately forgot i had this chapter typed and waiting... **

**I just went through and fixed up a couple of mix ups with the uploads so there are no more duplicate or out of order chapters and got rid of all my sorry messages when i found i hade one extra file,, so here is a little extra for everyone who has been waiting so long.**

**Chapter proverb: **_**Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.**_

**Disclaimer: ETphonehome: (**_**peeks cautiously around a conveniently placed Grecian pillar**_

"**Are they gone? Those damn lawyers took offence at the cold blooded joke and have been after me ever since" **

_**Steps carefully around pillar and after looking left and right crouches and whispers to the audience**_**) "Just between us they are all a bunch of unfit desk jockeys who couldn't catch a beached whale, but they are so much fun to tease." (**_**Grins insanely**_

"**Now to business, I couldn't possibly own any of Tolkiens characters unless I was a gender bending time lord with severe schizophrenia and since I'm not I and I don't you cant sue me" (**_**frightening insane grin**_

o0o

(Appis's pov)

Appis paced his tent in great agitation, the beasts he had sent out to do his mistresses bidding had not yet returned and he could only assume they had failed. Failure while in the service of the lady of darkness was never a pleasant occurrence. Soon he would have to go and report to the lady and he would have to accept the punishment for the presumably dead servants and it was not an appointment he looked forward to.

Drat that girl, and that blasted golden warrior, he had not expected her to be so well protected. There should not have been a problem, they had left four of their protectors in Rohan they should have been easy prey. But the elven warriors had obviously been more resilient than he had anticipated and the miscalculation was likely to cost him dearly. Finally, gathering what little dignity remained to him in this Valar forsaken place he headed towards the tent containing his lady, and likely his doom.

**(Glorfindel's pov)**

I was hugely relieved to hear from the healers that Anwe would recover, at lest with time and proper care and judging by her reaction I was hopeful that the event would not effect her badly in the future. I left her sleeping and went to my own rest in anticipation of my meeting with my friend Haldir and his brothers the next day.

The next morning dawned bright and clear and a quiet enquiry revealed that Anwe had been given a sleeping draft and would sleep at least until late afternoon. I was reluctant to spoil a so far pleasant day by enquiring about the twins but I had a responsibility to their care since I had allowed Anwe to be injured. But upon enquiring about them I was surprised to discover that they had already been taken care of.

Evidently they had caused quite a fuss last night despite Elladan and Elrohir's best efforts and had irritated the healers so they were being punished by being made to help brew the medicines for the infirmary. Relived of the responsibility of caring for the little monsters I was free to meet with Haldir and Rumil and Orophin at the training fields as I had planned.

When I arrived Haldir was busy in a mock battle against both of his brothers and Elladan and Elrohir were practicing with their long-swords so I found one of the practice bows and got in a little practice until they finished. Finally after I had emptied a quiver of arrows into the target they finished and came over to speak to me. Archery is one of the few fighting skills that can be practiced without having to concentrate on an opponent so the three brothers each collected his own quiver of arrows and struck up a conversation as we practiced.

The sly grins on all of their faces should have warned me that they had some potentially embarrassing topic in mind for our discussion but I was distracted somewhat by my concern for Lady Anwe and for the peace of Lothlorien with two sets of insane twins in residence. The conversation began innocently enough with the usual enquiries into my general wellbeing and the state of things in Imladris. Then they moved on to asking for more details about the time I had spent with lady Anwe.

I answered all their questions readily enough explaining about her connection to the twin girls and their encounter with Hui'Selde. They already knew all about her transformation and her adoption by Lord Elrond and the reason for her journey to Lothlorien. So they asked about how I had spent my time in her company leading up to and during the journey. As I explained how she had spent her time in lessons in both weapons and in history I found myself also reluctantly recalling for them the lady's encounter with the man from Gondor Boromir. At the telling of that particular tale the three became enraged on the lady's behalf despite their brief acquaintance with her and were quite delighted to hear that it had had no detrimental effect on her recovery. They laughed heartily at my recounting of our encounter with dwarves in dresses and I knew I would never be permitted to forget my mistake in allowing the twin girls to sing. They even forced me to demonstrate the most annoying of the songs so they could use them against their fellow elves while on patrol at a later date. They were also amused by the lady Anwe's choice of name for her horse and insisted on going to meet the beast then and there. After meeting the creature however they were horrified that such a tiny Elleth would have to ride such a huge vicious beast. I reassured them that tiny was not always so spiteful, (he attempted to take Haldir's arm of at the elbow when he attempted to pet his nose) he was simply pining for the Lady and was angry at being cooped up in the small stable. By this time it was time to gather for the midday meal and I thought it my duty to find out what had become of the girls and the twins and prevent them from causing trouble. I arranged to meet Haldir and his brothers at lady Anwe's room in the evening to see if she wished for company during her meal and went on my way to find my charges.

**(Haldir's POV)**

For a being who is said to have lived two lifetimes and fought in hundreds of battles, lauded as a military genius and a clever administrator and strategist my dear friend Glorfindel is hopelessly oblivious to subtle insinuations of romantic interest.

Though my brothers and I spoke almost exclusively of his interactions with the lady in question and asked many questions that would have been seen by any other person as enquiries about his feelings for the lady. He simply answered honestly and easily as though they were questions normally asked in ordinary conversation. We eventually gave up and listened with great fascination to the tales he had to tell about the remarkable lady and her two charges. From the tone of his voice and is expression as he told us of the encounter with the mortal man Boromir one could clearly see how deeply he valued the lady's good opinion. His delighted surprise at her lack of fear was wonderful to behold, it had been so long since we had seen him so delighted in the company of someone other than ourselves or the Family of Lord Elrond. Our own immediate fondness for the lady let us share fully his satisfaction at the creature's punishment for his transgression on lord Elrond's hospitality.

His tales of the exploits of her charges among the dwarves had us in gales of laughter. Likewise his tale of misery during his journey after making the enormous blunder of allowing the girls to sing. One thing that shocked us all was the lady Anwe's horse, a magnificent creature unmatched in size and strength by any in our own herds. This towering warhorse of a seemingly vicious temperament was the sweet 'Tiny' that had been mentioned by the lady the previous night. Her description of him as a big baby who kept begging for treats had definitely not prepared me for the great brute I encountered. However Glorfindel insisted that lady Anwe's presence gentled him considerably and his temper was due to his concern for his beloved mistress.

It was becoming quite late in the day and Glorfindel reluctantly left us to enquire about the two sets of twins he had the misfortune of being responsible for. However before he left he invited us to join him in lady Anwe's chambers for the evening meal if she seemed well enough for the exertion of company.

After he went on his way my brothers and I discussed our impressions of his answers and reactions and came to a unanimous conclusion. Glorfindel was hopelessly besotted and didn't even realise it. The fact was made even more amusing because of his supposed great age and wisdom and the three of us had a good laugh at his expense. Then we drew up the betting pool on how long it would take the balrog slayer to realise that he had had his heart stolen.

**Ok finishing there, I'm sorry it's so short but I needed to get a new chapter published before I forgot about it again, at least now I will have reviews to remind me to keep writing.**

**Next chapter we see what the two sets of twins were doing all this time…**


	23. Last chappie for a long time

**Ok just a quick note before the normal chapter rant, I wanted to let everyone reading this know that the story is being suspended for an unknown amount of time. **

**On the 18****th**** of this month my father went missing with no leads and no reason and has yet to be found. We have no leads and no idea where he is or why he would have left or been taken. Understandably the family is in a mess and I won't have the time or inclination to write any more of this story for quite some time.**

**Regretfully **

**ETphonehome. **

**Hi all sorry for the delay but I am setting up a market stall and I have been spending every moment of spare time that I have making jewellery, (by the way anyone want to buy some really cheap pearl jewellery???) Besides that its end of semester and there is sooooooo much due. I have not abandoned this fic; it's just fairly low on my list of priorities at the moment. Anyway I figured rather than put up a couple of short chapters that don't say anything or add to the story, (you know filler chappies) I would concentrate on writing a nice long chapter with a couple of good plot developments for when I finally post it and this is the result, I hope you enjoy and on with the fic.**

**Disclaimer: "there is no spoon" and I don't own any of Tolkiens characters sadly enough, the world is full of disappointments, (Author sits in anime emo corner with gloom cloud over her head)**

**Chapter proverb: Death is god's way of telling you "you're fired" Suicide is your way of saying "screw this I quit!!!"**

**Anwe's pov**

If there is one thing I've learned since arriving in middle earth it is that Elves are sneaky, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, those dreadful nurses kept me dosed up on some kind of sleeping draft for the duration of my week stuck in bed. I was either asleep or dozing for the entire time. I can't even remember if I had any visitors I just woke up one morning and they told me what they had done and said I could get up now. I was absolutely furious, I had been drugged and no one had told me not to mention I hadn't had anything even remotely resembling a bath since we had left Rivendel.

I was somewhat appeased when one of the nurses who could speak a little English, or common as they called it, offered to take me to the hot springs for a proper bath. Preparations were made to move me, which was rather complicated actually because I wasn't allowed to do any climbing up and down rope ladders yet and the hot springs were on the ground. They rigged up a kind of basket and pulleys thing to lower me directly to the ground completely bypassing any walkways or ladders.

Once I reached the ground my multitude of minders gathered around and half carried me to the hot springs. The spring itself was a large pool about the size of a backyard swimming pool. It began shallow about to my ankles and the temperature was tepid, as it got gradually deeper it also got warmer till about midway I could barely reach the bottom and the water was the temperature of a comfortably hot bath. I was warned not to go completely to the other end as the water there was at boiling point and would definitely burn.

However before I could get into the spring I had to get clean, the elves had a system that meant that they didn't to pollute the natural spring. For this purpose there were a number of large buckets and dishes of variously scented soap on a smooth stone slab that sloped gradually away from the main spring. I won't go into any detail, but what followed was the ultimate indignity of being washed and rinsed by complete strangers. I was then led into the pool to a comfortable depth and sat on a stone ledge hidden by the mineral clouded water and left to soak for a while in privacy with instructions to tell one of the attendants when I wished to get out so my transport back to the infirmary could be organised.

In the relative privacy of the bath I took the opportunity to finally inspect my injury for myself. The dressings had all been taken of in preparation for bathing and left of so the wound could benefit from the supposedly healing qualities of the water. What was revealed to my nervously poking fingers was a large angry red scar puffy and inflamed by the hot water and surrounded by a large area of technicolour bruises. The whole mess was tender to touch and quite disconcerting to look at since every time I looked at it I remembered vividly the weird sensation of the blade entering and leaving my side. While I was at it I inspected the rest of my body, I hadn't thought to check for past scars during other baths but my newest addition brought it to my attention that all my other scars had disappeared. I used to have a fair few scars, one long one from my hip to under my left breast from falling out of a tree at six and catching myself on a broken branch. Another on my stomach that looked a little like a pair of lips from catching a fold of skin in between two pieces of metal pipe while setting up a trampoline. Then there was the multitude of small scars on my hands from my various hobbies and two scars on my face from falling down and meeting rocks. I was quite surprised to find that none of them were there. Every inch of skin was perfectly unmarked except for the stab wound which stood out horribly on the otherwise unmarred skin. It appeared whatever had changed me had gone for a complete overhaul so I would have to start collecting scars again from scratch. I gave the injury one last poke and settled back down to enjoy my soak while I could.

The baths were communal to a point, with separate times for males and females. Women bathed in the mornings from midnight to midday, Males from midday to midnight. To have the baths completely to myself as I did meant that either there was a lull in people wanting to bathe at the moment or it had been vacated specifically for my use. I didn't want to think about it being the second option since I felt bad enough already about being an invalid when I was supposed to be finding a way to get the girls home.

As though thinking about them could conjure them up at that moment the girls barrelled into the room shrieking and giggling madly about something. They came to a sudden stop at the edge of the pool when they realised that it was currently occupied. The silence didn't last long, twin shrieks of delight echoed in the steamy room as they recognised me and they would have jumped straight in and smothered me if they hadn't been fully dressed and as I suddenly noticed quite filthy. They started jumping around in circles hugging each other instead and chanting,

"Miss Evans is out of bed, Miss Evans is out of bed,"

In sing song voices over and over until I laughed and told them to calm down a bit before the bath attendants came in thinking I was being attacked or something.

They controlled themselves with some difficulty and stripped and rinsed so they could join me in the pool and splashed over to me happily babbling about their exploits during my incarceration. I seemed that Elladan and Elrohir had made their escape on my first day of drugged sleep, a message had came to tell them they were needed back in Imladris so they had packed up and gone leaving messages of farewell with the girls and Glorfindel. Luckily for Glorfindel there was someone in Lothlorien with experience in handling adolescent twins (coughGaladrielcough) and they had taken the girls in hand. They had been kept so busy they had no time for mischief. First of all helping in the infirmary, then the kitchen, then the laundry and today the stables. All in disguise as lessons on the elvish way of doing things so the girls thought it was fun instead of work.

I thanked heaven for the small mercy that the girls had not been running amuck while I was incapacitated.

I also found out that Glorfindel had volunteered to join the guard patrols that protected the boarders of Lothlorien. He was currently out on patrol so I wouldn't see him for at least another three days. Then there was the bombshell, the fellowship was on its way here right now. That was why the girls had been so exited they were going to be allowed to help set out a meal for them and they had been sent to bathe and get ready.

I almost groaned out loud at the enormous chore it was going to be to convince them not to mention that Gandalf wasn't actually dead.

It took a while and I had to go into great detail about possible consequences like what might happen if the fellowship stayed in Lothlorien waiting for him and the fact that if merry and pippin didn't meet the Ents everyone would probably die at Helms Deep. Hopefully the idea of a dead Legolas would be enough to keep them quiet until the fellowship went on their way. After the girls were convinced to keep quiet they rushed through their bath and ran of to get ready. Once they had left I was once again able to relax into the tub and enjoy the steamy silence of the bath. I only stayed a few minutes longer as I didn't want to be in the way of anyone else who needed to bathe before the fellowship arrived. It didn't help that the simple act of taking a bath had exhausted me so badly I needed to be carried out of the bath and back to my room.

I don't know exactly how long I slept but it was dark again by the time I woke up, I lay there quietly for a few moments listening to the sound of singing floating through the trees and wondering why it seemed important. Suddenly I realised, the lament for Gandalf, the fellowship must have arrived while I was asleep. I was immediately concerned about what havoc the girls would be wreaking without me there to shut them up and I tried to get out of bed. A sharp pain in my side put paid to that idea and I gently leant back into the pillows biting my lip against the pain. I guessed I would have to wait until someone came to check on me before I would find out what was going on. I tried to relax enough to fall back to sleep but I must have agitated my side more than I thought. It settled into a dull throbbing ache that was just enough to stop me from getting properly comfortable.

I must have dozed of for a while because I the next thing I was aware of was low whispering voices in the room with me. I opened my eyes and glanced around. To my surprise I found Glorfindel having a whispered conversation with one of the healers. The most surprising fact was the state of his clothing; He wore the grey cloak and tunic of the guards of Lothlorien. However he was covered in dirt and what looked like blood, there was grass and leaves clinging to both his clothes and hair and there were smudges of dirt on his face. He looked like he had come straight from a battle of some sort and I wondered what he was doing in the infirmary. Suddenly it occurred to me that he might be injured and I tried to sit up to get their attention so I could ask what was wrong. Only to yelp in a most undignified manner when my side reminded me that it didn't like to be moved.

**Glorfindel's POV**

I was somewhat doubtful of the wisdom of the healers plan to drug the lady Anwe while she recovered but I kept silent having learnt in the past that it dos no good to question a healer. With the twins returned to Imladris and the girls gainfully occupied by the lady Galadriel I chose to make myself useful by volunteering for guard duty along with the other warriors of the golden wood. I was immediately placed in a squad on a week long scouting mission around the boarder of the wood. It was fairly routine for the most part, catching up with old acquaintances and swapping stories of past battles around the campfire. It was not until the last day before heading back that we encountered difficulties. It was dusk, and we were just preparing to set up camp for the night when we found signs of the passage of a large number of orcs. We followed cautiously and found them in a clearing some distance into the trees arguing about which direction to take. They outnumbered us three to one but we had the element of surprise, the order was given and we attacked. With bows first, we were only able to fire one volley before they saw us and tried to attack, then it was swords and knives. The fight was short and bloody but we suffered no serious injuries and the orcs were exterminated. However we had to pause for the night to tend to our wounded and we were not able to move out until late the next morning as we had to remove the carcases.

It was night before we made it back to Lothlorien and discovered that the fellowship had arrived during the day whilst we were away. I decided to settle the injured into the infirmary before making enquiries about young Estel and the rest of the group. While I was on the correct level I stopped by to see how lady Anwe's healing was progressing. I found a healer and asked if she was still in the drugged sleep or if she was able to have a visitor. They told me she had been awakened yesterday and had been allowed to bathe and was in a considerably better mood for it. However she was still very easily fatigued and had slept most of the day away waking only for her meals and a short visit from the twins. The healer agreed to take me to her room to see if she was awake, when we arrived and looked inside we found her once again asleep looking tiny and fragile surrounded by pillows and blankets. The healer went in to collect an empty tray from the small table obviously left from a previous meal, I followed her in aimlessly disappointed that Anwe wasn't awake for me to speak to. The healer turned to me, telling me in a whisper to hurry up and leave before we woke the lady up. As if the words were a trigger at that moment Anwe sat up with a start, then her face contorted in pain and she fell back onto her pillows. She stared at me in her eyes wide with surprise, her expression then shifted to one of concern and I suddenly realised that I had not removed my bloodstained clothing and I must be a truly gruesome sight.

Paused due to family tragedy, If someone wants to adopt this fic let me know and ill pass it on.

Thanks for all the reviews and I hope I am able to eventually continue this story.


	24. oh boy, i'm back!

**Chapter 24: If it wasn't happy I wouldn't protect it!!!**

**Ok just a quick word to all those lovely people who reviewed last chapter and offered their sympathies about the disappearance of my father some months ago.**

**First off, thank you all very much for your thoughts and prayers it was greatly appreciated. **

**That said you no longer need to worry about the bastard. We have found out a great deal since I last posted and the (expletive expletive expletive) has been discovered to have buggered off rather than to have disappeared. He left on a plane for Perth on the night he disappeared taking with him every cent of his and mums joint savings and the proceeds of redrawing the mortgage to the hilt and an illegal caveat loan on top of the mortgage (where he forged mums signature).**

**Needless to say my mum is distraught after 25 years of marriage and all seven of his kids including me are out for his blood. Add to that the #$&#$#)&$ has come back begging for forgiveness. My younger sisters' wedding is in 5 weeks and I am maid of honour, needless to say dad is not giving her away tradition or no tradition.**

**Anyway I am attempting to go on with life as normal so here goes with the next chapter and sorry again for the long delay,,,,**

**Chapter disclaimer: One question, if I'm penniless how could I possibly own a multi-million dollar company????? Aright then…**

**Chapter joke: A woman once said that a man was like a deck of cards, You need a Heart to love him a Diamond to marry him a Club to smash his f#$'ing head in and a Spade to burry the bastard,,,,,, (sorry my current contempt for the male gender is showing,,,)**

**Continued from the abrupt ending of last chapter……**

As if the words were a trigger at that moment Anwe sat up with a start, then her face contorted in pain and she fell back onto her pillows. She stared at me in her eyes wide with surprise, her expression then shifted to one of concern and I suddenly realised that I had not removed my bloodstained clothing and I must be a truly gruesome sight. Her first words confirmed that she had been concerned, eyes wide as she stared at the blood on my tunic and asked anxiously,

"Are you injured?"

I replied as reassuringly as I could,

"I am uninjured; I was simply escorting some of my comrades to the healers and stoped to see how you fared while I was here."

She seemed to relax after this, and smiled,

"Oh good, now I have someone to help keep the hobbits safe from the twins"

I had to wince at that, I had forgotten about the twins for a moment and the fact that the fellowship had arrived while I had been away. I gave her a mournful look and she giggled and settled deeper into her pillows and blankets. I saw that she was on the verge of falling asleep again so I wished her goodnight and after reassuring myself that she was comfortable I continued on my way to my own rest.

Early the next morning I went in search of young Estel to see for myself how he had fared so far on his journey. I found him in the clearing that had been set aside for the use of the fellowship during their stay however his news of the fate of his companion was infinitely worse than I expected and I began to realise exactly why Lady Anwe was so subdued any time her knowledge of the future was mentioned. Estel was deeply affected by the death of Mithrandir and the entire party grieved with him for the loss of his wise counsel. The hobbit Frodo seemed particularly grieved by his loss and explained that he had known the old wizard since his childhood and so felt particularly close to him.

I explained to the company that lady Anwe was in the healing wing and told the story of her injury at the hands of the orcs and was immediately bombarded with questions about her health and wellbeing as well as her exact location so they could go and visit her. It seemed that the lady had made fast friends in the two youngest hobbits and they immediately set out to visit the youngest elf they had ever met. It seemed that the dwarf was also concerned about the lady, evidently her handling of the incident with the twins had impressed him and he asked that I give her his wish for her speedy recovery.

Estel also sent his well wishes for his new foster sister and his intention to visit once she was fully recovered. Even more surprising was the reaction of prince Legolas to the news of her injury. He seemed quite distressed, particularly when I clarified how serious the injury had been and how close we had come to losing her. It seemed the death of Mithrandir had shaken him by making horribly obvious the mortality of even seemingly indestructible individuals and he left immediately with the hobbits to visit with her and reassure himself of her health.

I left Estel to his thoughts after this and went to find Haldir and his brothers and discover the whereabouts of lady Anwe's twin charges and what chaos they were causing at the moment.

Anwe's pov

After my late night visit from Glorfindel I woke up rather later than I expected but I was definitely feeling a lot better. The healers clucked around me again getting me food and some water to wash in as well as a fresh set of sleeping clothes before making me get back into bed and leaving me alone supposedly to rest. I must have dozed of (yet again,,, sleeping all day was really starting to bug me) since I woke up to the sound of muffled voices arguing outside of my door. As I came properly awake I was delighted to recognise merry and pippins voices arguing with someone who sounded like Legolas of all people about weather they were allowed to come in without the healer's permission. The hobbits were insisting that as long as the door wasn't locked they must be allowed in while Legolas was attempting to make them see reason and wait until he found a healer to ask. I decided to solve the problem for them and called out,

"You can come in, I'm awake just not allowed out of bed"

My reply was a sudden silence then the door creaked open slowly and two curly heads peaked around the frame.

"I hope we didn't wake you"

Pippin was apologetic,

"Glorfindel told us you got hurt and we wanted to make sure these elves were feeding you properly"

I had to giggle at Merry's food fixation,

"I'm quite alright as you can see, Glorfindel got me here in time and the elves here have been taking very good care of me, the lady Galadriel even helped in my healing."

The excitable hobbits cheered and ran into the room sitting on my bed and chattering about all the things that had happened to them. As the hobbit's babbled happily away Legolas stood to one side near the door and watched them with fond amusement until they began to gradually wind down as they approached the end of their story. I tried to comfort them as best as I could but it was difficult to seem genuinely distressed when I knew that Gandalf came back better than ever in just a few weeks. The hobbits didn't notice but I was fairly certain that Legolas wasn't so easily fooled.

My suspicion was confirmed when he stayed behind after the hobbits left saying that he wished to ask after Elrond's sons before he left. Once the door was shut he got straight to the point, first trapping me with one of those painfully intense stares that only an elf can manage and then asking straight out,

"You knew that Mithrandir would fall, why did you say nothing and allow him to go to his death!!!"

It was really quite intimidating but I had been preparing myself for these kind of explanations since I realised I wasn't dreaming so I had a snappy answer ready,,, (sort of)

"Because I had to!! If I had told him and things had gone differently it would have changed how events are supposed to unfold, the smallest change would be disastrous"

Legolas didn't seem to be the least bit impressed by my perfectly logical answer and he replied quite heatedly,

"How is the death of our wisest counsellor and great ally of any benefit to our cause? How does the death of Mithrandir help us at all?"

I was a bit put out at being yelled at by this point so my reply was a little snippy,

"Well for one thing he took the Balrog with him so you won't have to face it in battle later when the enemy finally attacks!!"

This seemed to get though to him, or at least it stopped his pacing up and down in agitation and he actually seemed to look at me seriously again rather than as though he was trying to reason with a particularly dense child. Now that he was rational again I continued,

"Do you really thing I would risk this much to have events follow the correct course if the outcome was unfavourable?"

I watched in satisfaction as realisation finally dawned on him, He looked rather stunned that it hadn't occurred to him yet, then he blinked and looked back at me apologetically and when he spoke again he sounded a little sheepish,

"I apologise for my harsh words lady, it was highly improper of me to blame you for what has happened and I beg your forgiveness"

With that he gave me a little bow and waited expectantly for my answer, I blinked at the bow, I hadn't expected that but I pulled myself together enough to answer him,

"There is nothing to apologise for, I would probably have behaved much worse if I had been in a similar circumstance. Honestly you are going to have many more moments when you wonder just how some horrible event could possibly lead to a positive outcome and it is going to get much worse before it gets any better at all. Many people are going to suffer horribly and I won't be able to do anything to stop it from happening in case it changes the eventual future."

He was looking very serious again and I continued,

"There are going to be a lot of people who are going to hate me before all this is over and I wont blame them because I probably deserve it but I want as many of you as possible to have your happy ending and this is the only way I can think of to make sure that happens."

During my little speech I had turned my head so I was gazing at my bedclothes waiting for his response. After a few moments of silence I glanced up to see why he hadn't spoken and was shocked by what I saw. He was standing there silently crying and looking at me like, I don't know like I had just said that I was destined to have my heart cut out as a sacrifice to the dark lord to prevent his attack and I wasn't going to struggle. It was kind of creepy to tell the truth and I was nervously thinking about all the bad fanfics where the sue won her favourite elf's heart by being nobly self sacrificing and he comes and rescues her and I silently prayed that I wasn't trapped in one of those. He must have noticed me looking at him because he quickly dried his eyes and to my utter mortification not to mention surprise he strode over to the bed lent down and gave me a great big hug. I was so stunned that I was only able to note absently that his arms weren't as big as Glorfindell's and he smelled different as well. Then he pulled away and smiled at me saying,

"I can see in you now the courage that allowed you to face Hueselde so unflinchingly and why so many admire your resilience in the strange new world you have been thrown into. I hope in future we can be friends and perhaps at the end of this I can introduce my father to the first elleth who has dared to scold me since my nurse."

Then to ad insult to confusion he grinned impishly and reached over and ruffled my hair before saying with a little laugh,

"It will be like having a short tempered little sister!"

That was the last straw, I threw a pillow at him and he fled the room laughing as it hit the wall beside the door, missing him by a mile. However I now felt much better about the whole Gandalf thing, as though explaining it to Legolas had helped me to acknowledge the truth of the situation. And since I knew the hairy old man would come back anyway after a much needed bath and clothes washing I was able to relax in the knowledge that things were happening as they should. However I studiously prevented myself from thinking about Boromir and his inevitable demise.

**OK, sory it isn't longer but I just haven't been inspired lately. Anyway I hope you enjoy and I will work on getting another chapter out soon.**

**TTFN**

**Ta Ta For Now**


	25. BTCH SLAPPED!

**B#TCH SLAPPED!!!!!**

**High all, sorry about the long delay but I have officially been diagnosed with depression after all the shit that's gone on and it plays merry hell with my ability to concentrate on any one concept for longer than a few minutes. I have what happens all planned out in my head I just can't concentrate long enough to get it typed. Hopefully after this chapter it won't be so long between chapters anymore. And now for your enjoyment an extra-long chapter to hopefully make up for my long absence 4300 not counting authors notes whoot go me, lol. **

**On another matter entirely does anyone know how long after the fellowship leave Lothlorien it is that **

**A)Lothlorien is attacked and **

**b) That the ring is destroyed. **

**These are going to be two key points in my story but I have no idea of the timeline and I am so too lazy to dig up my books and search the appendices for the dates.**

**Anyway disclaimer: "I am amazed I haven't been killed by the lawyers yet _ oh well on with things, I only own the characters that you don't recognise as belonging to Tolkien."**

**Chapter proverb: "If at first you don't succeed, cheat until caught, then lie."**

**Glorfindell's POV**

**~#~**

Surprisingly enough, after my return and the arrival of the fellowship the twins seemed to be on their best behaviour. The lady Galadriel had taken them in hand and put them to work to keep them out of trouble holding up the chance to learn about elves first hand as a reward for their co-operation. So far it seemed to be working and the girls seemed to be perfectly happy as they were. I decided not to meddle and I went about my own business, as Haldir, Rumill and Orophin were out on patrol once again I settled into a routine of training and visits to lady Anwe` in the healing wing and left them to their own devices. I would soon find that this was a grievous error however I was doomed not to realise until afterwards.

It was also during this time that we discovered some clue as to how lady Anwe` had come to be as she was. Research into the records held concerning Hui`selde showed that the Valar had been concerned by the extent of her power from the outset and so they had set a condition on her use of it. It seemed that should at any point an innocent with no obligation to her and who was not a relation of or closely emotionally connected to the one they were protecting should offer themselves in place of her intended victim then they would be given in reparation Hui`selde's own Elven life as repayment for their sacrifice and Hui`selde would in her own turn be forced to take on the lifespan of the one who had been given hers. She was also not able to take anything from another person without it being freely offered or if the person owed her in some way and had agreed to an exchange. This had been meant to discourage her from using the life force of others to fuel her spells as it was believed that there were enough honourable people that this would happen quite soon if she were to begin doing so. However she had avoided this event for a very long time by taking her victims from other worlds and taking them to isolated places where they would not encounter any people. Upon encountering the twins she had believed she had found another pair of perfect victims, however she had not counted on Lady Anwe` being dragged along unwillingly in her spell and stepping forward to protect the twins. By doing this Anwe` had met the requirement for the limitation and Hue`selde had broken the agreement and was compelled to complete the spell and face the consequences. This explained how Anwe` had come to be an elf but it gave us no clue as to how to return the twins to their home or really any clue as to if it were even possible. Anwe` had been relieved to find out the reason for her transformation but had been understandably discouraged about the lack of progress at returning her charges to their families. The lady Galadriel simply told her to put it out of her mind and concentrate on getting well as she would likely need to be at full strength to be of any help in finding a solution to the problem. After a few moments thought lady Anwe` agreed that this would be the best course of action and resolved to do everything in her power to recover as soon as possible.

The weeks passed relatively uneventfully right up until the time came to farewell the fellowship. This in itself should have been a warning to me but I was far too focused on my self imposed goal of making lady Awe`s convalescence bearable by visiting frequently to speak to her and ensure that the healers were not making themselves unbearable. The lady had become agitated very quickly by her lack of strength and just as quickly lost patience with the fussing of the healers. On a number of occasions she confided in me that if they tried to fluff her pillows one more time she was going to beat them to death with them. Only a week into her recovery I arrived to visit her to find that she had dumped a pan of water on the head of a particularly officious healer who had tried to give her a sponge bath without her permission.

She had stood in the centre of the room barely dressed with her robe around her waist and only her breast band preserving her modesty and had dumped the contents of the wash bowl on the healers head. Brandishing the now empty bowl like a weapon she had ranted at the horrified healer that nothing like this would have happened if she had just let her wash herself as she had asked politely to be allowed to do. I would likely have fled the scene to allow her to preserve her modesty save that I notices a thin trail of blood running down her waist from her now terribly inflamed wound. I stepped into the room and asked what was going on; the healer, too outraged to realise the level of impropriety she was causing promptly stormed out of the room declaring that he could deal with her. Lady Anwe` had calmly put down the bowl and sat in one of the chairs normally reserved for visitors and tried to pull her robe up over her shoulders. She had obviously still been furious as her hands were clenched into tight fists and she was trembling not to mention that she was glaring so viciously at the wall I almost expected it to start to burn. In order to give her some time to calm herself I went over to the healers table and gathered what I would need to re-bandage her wound and then cautiously made my way over to her. She glanced at me briefly and the anger seemed to flow out of her suddenly leaving her simply tyred. She sat in silence as I cleaned and dressed the wound then made her comfortable in her bed. It was only after she was settled that I asked what had happened and received an explanation.

Evidently she had been resting when the healer had come to tell her it was time for her to bathe and had brought the pan of water and some cloths. She had thanked her and asked her to leave so she could bathe in private and the healer had not only refused to leave but had tried to insist that she would wash her as she believed lady Anwe` was still unable to bathe herself. When Anwe` had protested this, the healer had tried to hold her down and wash her like an unruly child. This had been too much for Anwe` to bear and she had struggled free splitting her scar in the process and she had proceeded to tell the healer in no uncertain terms exactly what she thought of her treatment. However it was not until the healer had become condescending and reprimanded her like a naughty child to behave herself or she would get a spanking that Anwe` had truly lost her temper and doused the healer with the water and began berating the foolish creature for causing such a huge fuss where it wasn't necessary.

It seemed someone had let slip Anwe`'s age to the healers and as she was not technically of age according to Elven standards they had started treating her like a wayward child and it was fast causing her to lose her patience with them. After that incident I had a word with the healers and explained her exact situation and warned them that if they did not treat the lady with the proper respect I would inform lady Galadriel of their poor hospitality. There were no more major incidents after that and as Anwe`'s progress at learning elvish was considerable there were fewer and fewer misunderstandings. The days were passed quite pleasantly after that, my mornings filled with training and my afternoons and evenings spent in conversation with lady Anwe` or teaching her to play dice games to break the monotony of her days. She told the most intriguing stories about her world and her numerous family, I had been amazed to hear that she had six siblings. Elven children are rare and precious and one is considered lucky to have more than one in their whole long lifetime. I was truly envois of her large family and wondered if she would retain this human ability to bear many children despite her change. In return I told her tales of my many visits to the golden wood escorting the lady Arwen to visit her grandparents and the many interesting experiences I had had with Haldir and his brothers. Due to the poison that had been in her wound as well as her existing weakness from her long fever beforehand lady Anwe` was healing very slowly. Any sharp movements often caused her pain and frequently the scar pulled and tore however it was happening less often now. The healers said that even after she was able to be up and about again she should not do anything that required great physical exertion or she might relapse.

The reprieve from worrying about the actions of the twins since they had been taken in hand had been a great relief for her and she was able to rest easier for it and while her recovery was slow it was steady and the healers claimed she would soon be able to care for herself once again.

Eventually the time came for the fellowship to be on their way and as a reward for their good behaviour the twins were permitted to be among the party serving the farewell meal. All seemed to go well and the twins even managed to restrain themselves from making a scene both at the meal and at the leave-taking. This should have warned me that something was amiss, however they had been quite skilled at lulling us into a false sense of security and it was not until some hours later that I discovered something was amiss. A deeply distressed kitchen hand sought me out to tell me that the girls had supposed to be in the kitchen assisting her hours ago; it was then that I began to experience a deep sense of foreboding.

A search was rapidly organised to seek out the trouble makers, however it quickly became apparent that they were no longer in Lothlorien. Their bags and belongings were missing from their quarters and a considerable quantity of food was found missing from the kitchens. Scouting parties were sent out immediately in the direction taken by the fellowship with instructions to find them and bring them back, bound and gagged if necessary.

Up until this point I had thought it best to keep the news of the twin's disappearance from lady Anwe` as she was still easily exhausted from both her fever and the poison from her wound. However now with the very real possibility of them being injured or worse it fell to me to inform her of their newest idiocy. I knew it would not be a particularly pleasant conversation.

She had finally to her relief been provided with chambers of her own in a talan very near the healing wing and she was enjoying them immensely. She was also ridiculously happy to have been declared able to dress and bathe herself and by the fact that she only had to go to the healing wing once a day to be checked over by the healers to make sure she wasn't overdoing it. It seemed that she had been just as annoyed at being unable to do these things herself as by the condescending way the healers had treated her while doing them. She was fiercely independent and it had galled her no end to be forced to rely on others for such basic needs.

Her good mood in the few days since she had been released had done wonders for her recovery and she had become much stronger, however I feared that should one of the girls be injured or killed she would fall into a depression and perhaps fade. So it was with great trepidation that I knocked on her door to give her the news.

Her reaction was much as I had expected, first she was shocked and disbelieving that even the girls could be quite so stupid. Then frantically worried and absolutely furious at the same time one moment fretting about what could happen to them and in the next breath growling viciously about the myriad of punishments she would heap upon them when they were brought back safe. Finally she insisted on coming to the barracks where the patrols sent out searching would report to when they returned so that she could be there and know immediately when they were recovered whatever their condition. Naturally I accompanied her and I made sure she ate and drank something while we waited and I tried to keep her distracted and hopeful as one after another the patrols came back empty handed.

Finally it was only Haldir's patrol that had not returned; it was quite late in the night and lady Anwe` was clearly agitated as it became less and less likely that they would be found. Finally a shout was herd from the sentries and it was passed back to us that Haldir's patrol was returning and with two extra horses obviously occupied. However it was also said that someone was being carried on a stretcher obviously injured and it was not possible yet to determine who it was. Anwe` was suddenly silent and tense as we waited the agonising minutes for them to arrive and tell us what had occurred. When they did finally come into sight it became immediately clear that it was not one of the twins that had been injured for they sat atop their horses looking sulky with their hands bound in front of them. Haldir led them over and helped them down to stand in front of Lady Anwe` and explained that they had found the girls some considerable distance from Lothlorien and had immediately set about bringing them back. However they had tried to run of and had made so much noise about it that they had attracted the attention of a large group of Orcs that were in the area and a battle had followed. The girls not content with having caused the battle had then attempted to use the confusion to slip away and had consequently been attacked as they left the protection of the group. Luckily one of Haldir's patrol had seen them slip away and had rushed to their aid. He had been successful in retrieving them unharmed but in the process he had been quite seriously injured and was now being carried to the healing wing for treatment.

As he finished his explanation I turned to look at Anwe`, she was a white as a sheet and obviously furious. She turned to the twins who stood pouting in front of her still bound and demanded to know what they had to say for themselves. Bothe of them refused to meet her eyes and they were silent until one of them was foolish enough to mumble that she didn't know what everyone was so upset about, no one had died after all.

This seemed to be the final insult to release the dam on Lady Anwe`s anger. She seemed almost to grow in height to tower over the twins and she began to tell them exactly what everyone was so upset about. She viciously insulted their intelligence at not being able to see their wrongdoing themselves and wondered aloud if they were as cruel and selfish as they seemed or just stupid. She then proceeded to draw to their attention the fact that if it were not for an extremely unlikely series of events she herself would be dead due to their stupidity and asked if perhaps they had forgotten this fact. She then proceeded to tell them that if they felt nothing for the fact that people had fought and killed for their safety and had in truth been injured and bled and possibly in the case of the seriously wounded warden been permanently harmed for their sakes then they were the most cruel, thoughtless, selfish and self centred brats that she had ever had the misfortune to encounter.

It was at this point that one of the girls was foolish enough to shout out that it wasn't their fault that the ellon had been hurt, that if they had just left them to do as they had intended then no one would have been hurt. Anwe` went very still, then faster than anyone could move to stop her she had soundly slapped the pair of them. In the shocked silence that followed Anwe` told them in a deadly calm voice that if they had nothing remotely intelligent to say then they were to remain silent. She then said that as it was not her that had been wronged, inconvenienced or injured during their retrieval it was not her place to punish them. However as it was Haldir's men who had been required to search for them and who had been injured in the process she believed it would be appropriate to allow him to decide on their punishment. She then turned to Haldir and told him quite plainly that as long as it didn't kill them then he was welcome to punish the pair of them in whatever way he saw fit. The twins seemed to shrink as they noticed the positively vicious gleam that entered Haldir's eyes at this statement. She then stated that she wanted nothing more to do with such disgustingly selfish children and that the sooner we found a way to send them home the sooner she would be content. She then formally thanked Haldir for retrieving the twins safely and apologised for the trouble that had been caused. She then attempted to storm off to her rooms but stumbled and almost fell after only a few steps and then stood swaying obviously struggling to regain her balance. I quickly stepped towards her and after only a glance at her pale face lifted her easily into my arms and after nodding a farewell to Haldir I quickly carried her back to her rooms lay her on her bed and removed her shoes. She fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow so I covered her with the sheets still fully clothed and left her to her rest but visited the healers to tell them of her over-exertion that day and the reason for it so that they could be careful to check for a relapse when she came to see them next day. As I left I hoped that the stress of the day would not give her unpleasant dreams or affect her recovery as I very much wished to see more of the cheerful and independent woman I had glimpsed in her as her recovery progressed.

**~Anwe`s POV~**

Well after a couple of weeks in Lothlorien we finally found an explanation for my elfifying. Evidently the there was a loophole in the agreement made with the twins and my interference had activated it forcing this Hue`selde character to switch bodies with me. At least that was finally explained and supposedly as we had expected it was irreversible so no going home for me. I decided to take lady Galadriel's advice and basically ignore the issue of getting the twins home until I was recovered enough to actually do something about it. Speaking of the twins I don't really trust myself to talk about what they did shortly after the fellowship left. Suffice to say that I have never been so angry in all my life and I told them a few home truths a bit more forcefully than I would normally have done before leaving them to Haldir's tender mercies. My dramatic exit was somewhat spoiled when I needed to be carried of by Glorfindell but by then I was so tired and felt so sick that I didn't really care. I think I was asleep even before he put me on the bed because I don't remember my shoes being taken of or being covered up and when I woke up both things had been done. The next morning the healers told me that I had to be extra careful now to avoid a relapse as the exertion the day before had put a strain on my system that it was not ready for and had made me dangerously tired. As he had been all the previous weeks Glorfindell was an absolute gem, visiting every day to talk and play board games and dice games to rescue me from my boredom and always happy to translate for me and teach me more elvish. It was Glorfindell who brought me news of the twin's punishment. Evidently Haldir had decided that for them to truly appreciate the wardens and the work they did then they must first be shown how they acquired the skills they had used in protecting them. To do this he had decided to force them to endure the training regime for the average warden recruit with no extra consideration shown to them for being human girls. It seemed they had broken down crying within twenty minutes but Haldir had not relented, he had confided in Glorfindell that he planned to keep them at it for two months or until they left whichever came first, if nothing else it would keep them out of trouble.

As soon as I was able to I visited the warden in the healing wing and asked after his health and thanked him in person for helping the twins. Thankfully he didn't bear them any grudge and he was set to make a full recovery so I was able to let go of some guilt on that head. The next few weeks I spent utterly focussed on getting well, I knew that at some point before the end of all this Lothlorien would be attacked and I was determined that even if I couldn't help I would at least not be a burden.

**~Haldir's POV~**

The whole debacle of the twins foolish adventure seemed to bring on a far more serious tone to lady Anwe`s personality. She seemed completely intent on the business of getting well as though she could make it so by her will alone. And it seemed to be working, within two weeks of the incident she was deemed well enough to begin her riding lessons once again, with Glorfindell in attendance of course. She was also permitted to do the exercises she needed to do for her own interesting style of hand to hand combat. These were fascinating to watch and I did so in the company of Glorfindell who was ostentatiously present to prevent the lady from over-exerting herself. I was once again amazed at my old friend's reaction to the lady and found great amusement from counting how many times I would need to call his name to get his attention whilst watching her, the current record is six times. My brothers found the situation equally amusing to sneak up on him while he is giving her riding lessons and teasing him by wondering what could so thoroughly distract a warrior legendary for his vigilance. It seemed even the lady Galadriel and lord Celeborn were waiting in amused expectation for the day he finally realised his hopeless infatuation and what his reaction would be. The general consensus was that it was about time really, Glorfindell had been lonely on a deeply personal level since his return from Valinor with no remaining relatives or close friends and the awe of most for his achievements and his return it was difficult for him to become close to people. It was also difficult to find ones beloved if every elleth one was introduced to was terrified of you.

Now out of nowhere young lady Anwe` had come and with an easy and unfeigned unconcern for his status or stature and absolutely no fear of him. As well as her honest confusion over why anyone who wasn't an orc or servant of the dark should be afraid of him at all. His original fascination with the stranger had obviously grown into a deep protectiveness for one he saw as a helpless and trusting. From what I could tell from what he told me of his interactions with her in Imladris he had lost his heart to her completely when she showed not the slightest fear of him after the incident with the man Boromir. This had only deepened at her injury while travelling and his constant attentiveness to her during her illness. He had been constantly telling me how refreshing it was to be able to converse intelligently with someone over such simple things as favourite foods and how he managed to braid his hair with someone who was so obviously genuinely interested. The only possible down side to the whole situation could be if lady Anwe` did not return his regard but no one who had seen how brightly she smiled at him when he visited and how her whole demeanour seemed to brighten in his company and how trustingly she had clung to him when she nearly fell or he carried her could think that she felt nothing for him. It was my opinion that they were both as oblivious as each other and just as deeply ensnared and I looked forward to teasing both of them about it when they did finally realise it and start courting properly.


	26. Gone But Not Forgoten!

**Chapter 27**

**Sorry again for the long delay between chapters, I really should stop calling this bit authors notes and start calling it the apology section. Anyway, no real excuse apart from lack of concentration and the sudden onset of Christmas. However I have a whole month of the computer to myself as the rest of the family went to Perth without me so I might actually get another chapter out. And now on with the disclaimer.....**

**A tiny fluffy yellow chick about one and a half centimetres tall that looks like it came from an Easter egg walks out and looks at the readers with tiny black eyes. It opens its beak and lets out an adorable little 'peep' sound. Suddenly the stage is overrun with dozens of said little chicks peeping madly, some yellow some brown and some striped grey and yellow.**

**I don't own any LOTR's characters but I do own the dozens of little king quail babies my pet quails hatched out a few weeks ago, they are impossibly small and amazingly cute and all mine, (insert evil laugh)**

**Chapter proverb: There is no problem in this life that cannot be solved with the proper application of high explosives,,,**

**And now on with the story,,,**

**Anwe`s POV**

In the following weeks I would occasionally visit the training grounds to see the twins and to try and get myself at least partway back into condition before all hell broke loose. As I said before I was quite a fan of the books and I enjoyed reading them quite regularly, however I was not keen enough to have memorised any of the important dates, let alone the whole timeline. So while I knew that before the end all the major Elven strongholds, including Lothlori`en, got attacked I had no idea if it was during the battle on the Pellenor fields or the one at the black gates or at some other time entirely. However I did know that it was only a few weeks now until Frodo finally made it to mount doom so the attack would probably be fairly soon.

Thankfully everyone seemed to expect an attack as a matter of course and everyone was preparing. I wasn't silly enough to believe I would be of any use at all in the fighting; I planned to help out the healers as best I could when the injured started to come in. But I also wanted to know I wouldn't be completely helpless if a few stragglers broke through the front and managed to get to where I was. Glorfindell was a great help, he continued my riding lessons as soon as the healers said it was ok and continuing to give me lessons in fighting with my staff, as well as watching fascinated as I practiced my martial arts exercises. It seemed a lot of people were fascinated with the new style of fighting that I was practicing because Rumill and Orophin and even Haldir often stopped by to chat to Glorfindell and to watch.

The weeks passed quickly, or at least they seemed to, it was really quite difficult to keep track of time in Lothlori`en and I had been fairly thoroughly distracted with other things. Then one morning one of the more distant boarder patrols came thundering into the stables during my morning lesson and headed straight for the main barracks without even caring for their mounts. I knew straight away that they must have seen the attacking force and have come to warn everyone to prepare. I was proven right when only a few minutes later the warning bells sounded and elves began running all over the place getting ready. Glorfindell apologised for cutting the lesson short and tried to ask if I would be alright, I assured him I would be fine and staying as far away from the fighting as possible. I explained that I planned to help out at the healing tent that was being set up in the clearing where the fellowship had stayed so that I could be of some use without putting myself in danger. He seemed relieved and after a quick hug farewell he headed of to his own preparations. I hadn't had the heart to tell him I would be dealing with the twins as well which would probably be more stressful than any other task.

After handing tiny of to one of the stable hands and telling him in no uncertain terms to behave and do anything he could to help, (tiny not the stable hand) I headed for the healing tent to see what I could help with. The day stretched on and I was put to work washing and rolling bandages and preparing large quantities of simple herbal teas and washes that were used for pain and disinfectant. The twins had been set the task of making up the dozens of cots in the tent and folding and stacking clean linen. After finishing that task they were made to tear great sheets of linen into strips for bandages, they got quite good at it after a little practice. Almost before I realised it had gotten dark, it soon became obvious that the fighting had started when the sun went down as the first of the injured began to arrive. It became very busy after that, I was constantly carrying either bandages or medicine to healers or taking away filthy bloody clothes to be burned or weapons and armour to a pile outside to be cleaned and returned later. Luckily or unluckily depending on how you looked at it there were a number of fighters who were not seriously injured but who could no longer fight with their chosen weapons due to their injuries. These helpful fellows did a lot of the heavy lifting and were mostly conscripted to carry stretchers. I very determinedly did NOT think about the dead who were carried out on stretchers with their faces covered in white cloths. I focussed on being as useful as I could to the living. As the tent became overcrowded I was given the task of directing the walking wounded to set up another tent in an adjoining clearing and then settling all those already seen to there to rest and recover. Much to my shock I recognised one of my helpers as Orophin; He sheepishly explained to me that he had taken an arrow in the shoulder of his sword arm. While it was not a serious wound it not only stopped him from swinging his sword it also prevented him from firing a bow so he had been sent back to assist the healers. Relieved to find it wasn't serious I put him to work setting up cots, I had the twins working for me as well and I set them the job of helping him where he needed more hands and then making the beds up with clean sheets when they were done.

I had to stop myself from asking how things were going and focus on making the injured as comfortable as possible. There was suddenly a great commotion outside and the sound of snarls and screams, as I ran out I prayed that the snarls weren't what they sounded like. Unfortunately they were and there was a small group of about five orcs rushing towards the healing tent knocking over stretchers and injured as they went. Some of the walking wounded helpers tried to stop them but were quickly cut down as they were unarmed and already exhausted. I grabbed the nearest thing I could that resembled a weapon (which was in fact a tent pole) and ran towards them. My main advantage was surprise; the orcs definitely didn't expect one tiny elleth with a stick to attack them from behind. I managed to knock two of them down before they realised they were being attacked and I got a third in the face as he turned around breaking his nose. Evidently others had followed my example and a number of the walking wounded, including Orophin, had grabbed the legs of as yet unconstructed cots and were using them as clubs to ensure those I had already knocked down would not be getting up. I was now holding of the swords of the remaining two orc's, which was easier than I had expected after practicing with Glorfindell, however the tent pole was not a staff and it was quickly getting cut short as they continued to hack at me. Luckily Orophin took the initiative and cut around behind them while they were busy with me and clubbed them in the head with his improvised weapon. After that he made short work of permanently immobilising them, there was a great cheer from the other healers but it was short lived as we all suddenly herd chanting in what could only have been the black speech, as I didn't know any other language that could hurt my ears just to hear. We all frantically searched for the source of the sound and finally found it. A twisted looking old woman stood at the edge of the trees with her arms upraised, chanting rapidly, in between her arm a fireball was forming and I just knew that it would do so much more damage than a simple thrown ball of fire. I was moving before I realised I had decided to, I faintly herd someone calling to me to stop but I didn't listen, the healers were all needed and I was the only other able bodied person there with a chance of reaching her before she finished her spell. The world seemed to slow around me and no matter how fast I moved my legs I didn't seem to get any closer. Then to my horror she brought her arms down aiming straight at the healing tents and shouted what seemed like a command. In desperation I kept running at the ball, which was now flying straight at me, and spread out my arms in what I was sure was a hopeless attempt to stop it from reaching the injured and causing untold destruction I think I must have yelled something but I cant remember what it was, and I kept running and the ball of flame got bigger, until finally it reached me.

It struck me head on, there was no pain, no sound, nothing really, everything seemed to pause for a moment then there was a sensation like a great gust of wind, but nothing else around me moved, and the smell of burning grass and hair. Then their was a feeling somewhat like being pulled underwater by ones foot and sound and feeling suddenly reasserted themselves and I felt myself falling. I hit the ground and herd a sharp snap and then felt a blinding pain in my leg, then my head hit the ground and I quite happily fell into unconsciousness.

**Orophin's POV**

The attack came somewhat earlier than expected but we were still prepared for it, everybody knew their position and task and hurried to their stations. Glorfindell's presence did wonders for moral, those who were not determined to show that the soldiers of Lothlori'en could fight just as fiercely as the Balrog slayer were reassured that we had such a fierce warrior with us.

I had been concerned that lady Anwe` would wish to be involved with the fighting, but as soon as Glorfindell explained to me her intention to assist the healers I scolded myself for even thinking she would show so little sense after she had been so sensible and careful about things since arriving here. Glorfindell was in charge of a section of the defensive line next to my own command so I was able to speak to him as we waited for night to fall and the attack to begin. He looked truly intimidating in full battle armour with bow and quiver and his great sword at his side. His hair was gathered up in warrior's braids and only partially hidden beneath his helm, and his horse the swift Asfaloth was also in light armour. There was a light in his eyes at the prospect of the upcoming battle and he was obviously keen to begin, but he stayed calm and relaxed, at least on the surface. Finally darkness fell, and as the final rays of sunlight disappeared below the horizon the enemy came charging at us through the trees.

As often happens in battle things became rather confused after that, the enemy was mainly orcs with a few goblins thrown in. They were not particularly skilled fighters; the problem was the sheer numbers they came in. The battle surged back and forth, one moment the defenders gained ground then the enemy would surge forward once again. Then there came a shock of pain and my sword fell from limp fingers as agony burst into being in my shoulder, I glanced over and I saw the orc arrow still quivering where it was buried in my flesh. The orcs saw my injury and surged forward to slay me, they would have succeeded, but at that moment there was a great battle cry and Glorfindell surged through the orcs before me and began to mow them down as easily as a farmer harvesting grain. There was a wild light in his eyes and he didn't seem to truly see me save to register me as 'not and enemy' before he turned and continued to wreak havoc on the orcs before him.

I took the opportunity to withdraw from the battle; handing over command of my unit to my brother I headed straight for the healers to have the arrow removed and to hopefully be of some further use. The arrow was swiftly removed by the harried healers, and I was sent to assist in the setting up of a second tent for those who had already been treated. I was surprised to find the lady Anwe` busily directing those wounded who could still move around in the organisation of tent and cots for the injured, and directing stretcher carriers to place their burdens on empty beds. She seemed equally surprised to see me and immediately asked about my injury. She seemed very relieved when I explained that it wasn't serious, and quickly set me to work setting up cots inside the almost completed tent ready to hold the wounded. Suddenly shouts and snarls from outside grabbed my attention and I immediately ran out to see my worst fears confirmed. A small group of orcs had made their way to the clearing that held the healing tents and were attacking.

I became conscious of lady Anwe` beside me only after she had grabbed a tent pole and charged the vile creatures. Jolted out of my shock I grabbed the stubby leg of one of the cots to use as a club and followed as quickly as I could manage, I saw others doing the same but I focused on reaching Anwe` before she could be harmed. To my surprise she effectively disabled three of the five orcs before I even reached her, she then distracted the last two while I circled behind them and hit them from behind. The unconscious orcs were quickly more permanently dealt with, but as I turned to congratulate Anwe` on her quick thinking everyone cringed as words of the black speech echoed horribly across the clearing. The twisted old woman who was speaking it stood on the edge of the clearing chanting rapidly with her arms stretched up over her head, as if to embrace the growing ball of flame that was forming between her hands. Anwe` took one look at her and dropped her tent pole and started to run towards her. For a moment it seemed that she would make it in time, then with horrible finality the strange woman brought her arms down in a throwing motion and the ball of flame flew towards lady Anwe`. I called out to her desperately to stop, but she replied with a shouted denial and ran straight at the flaming ball, arms outstretched as if to catch it and shield the rest of us with her body. When it struck her there was a flash of light so bright that it momentarily blinded everybody watching. As my eyes cleared I could see Anwe` standing motionless mid-step where she had been only moments ago with the flaming sphere clasped to her chest, then the thing began to pulsate and grow, then with a strange sound that was more felt in the bones than herd it exploded into a mass of light and flame, incinerating all the grass in a great circle around where Anwe` had stood and when the smoke cleared nothing remained to show that she had ever been there. I stood speechless, staring at the scorched ground where she had stood, wanting to scream denials but unable to move. Finally I looked up, furiously searching for the one responsible for this terrible tragedy, only to find the stranger crumpled in a pile where she had stood. I ran to the spot, heedless of my injury and the shouts of the others in the clearing, I roughly turned her over only to find that she was very dead. She appeared to have dried out from the inside, her skin pulled tight on her bones like hide on a drum, completely stiff and utterly dead and beyond any other form of justice for the horror she had wreaked. I looked around to see the healers already frantically trying to restore some kind of order, directing dazed ellon to remove the bodies of the orcs and returning to treating their patients as best they could. I realised that I was still needed, and that a war such as this would not stop for the los of just one life, no matter how courageously lost or how dear she was to myself or my friends.

Dazedly I moved back to my task and I kept moving mechanically all through the night with one horrifying thought floating through my mind. When the time came I would have to tell Glorfindell, and I didn't even want to think about what his reaction would be to the news. Suddenly every small teasing comment we had made in the last few weeks seemed unimaginably cruel and I wished that I could go back and unsay them. Suddenly I found my hands unoccupied, the flow of wounded had stoped and there were no more cots to make up or stretchers to carry. Strangely even the thought that this meant that the battle was over and won could not cheer me. I simply sat by the tent and waited for the moment I dreaded to come. I did not have to wait long, shortly after the flow of wounded stopped the able bodies warriors began coming back carrying the dead to be prepared for burial and to assist the healers where they could. I saw him before he saw me, he was waling towards the healing tent with his helm under his arm, his hair in disarray and his armour smeared with filth and gore. Despite this, he was still beaming with pride at our victory and he was looking around avidly for any sign of lady Anwe` among the scurrying masses of healers.

It took a great effort to stand to meet him, the new motion caught his attention and he seemed pleased to see me well, he strode towards me smiling until he came close enough to see my face. My expression must have given away that something was terribly wrong because he frowned and walked faster, until he came level with me and griped my arms firmly and asked what was wrong. I was too ashamed to meet his eyes as I spoke,

"I it lady Anwe`, my friend, the healing tents were attacked by a sorceress, she, she didn't make it, and there was nothing left, nothing left for us to burry."

His hold on me slackened and I chanced a look up at him. In all my life I will never forget the look on his face, such naked agony I have never seen on a face and I hope to never see again however long I live. He released me from his hold and went to walk away; he stumbled and almost fell and wavered on his feet as he finally seemed to see the great blackened patch of earth in front of the tents. I saw Haldir and Rumill step into the clearing and called them over frantically as Glorfindell fell to his knees, his face a mask of dazed agony as he laid a trembling hand against the ash coated ground. I explained in a harsh whisper what had happened and they helped me to carefully lead our grief stricken friend to the healing tent. He moved like a sleepwalker, allowing us to remove his weapons and armour and lay him down on one of the unoccupied cots. A healer bustled over to see what was wrong, she took one look at the grief-stricken warrior and hurried away, she returned quickly with a mug of the calming tea that was given to Elves who had lost their partners. It would allow him to rest until he got over the initial shock, then it would be completely up to him weather he recovered.

As I sat with my brothers watching as his expression finally became slack and empty with sleep I cursed the vicious witch who had caused this and wished she were still alive to suffer punishment for her wrongdoing.


	27. Chapter 27

**I appologise for the realy long wait everyone!!! (hides behind a wall from the thrown fruit/veg/empty cans thrown by readers. I couldnt get to let me upload documents for a while but i finaly figured it out, (Yay Me, lol) anyway, enjoy and review, it encorages me to keep writing ^_^**

**I finally realised that I didn't mention the arrival of Gandalf, cos he arrives not long after the fellowship leave then he goes ahead of them to Fanghorn forest.**

**Oh well, I'll slip it into the last chapter when I get a chance and let you all know when I've fixed it. **

**In the meantime I haven't been able to find an online timeline that mentions the attacks on the other Elven cities they only state the mainstream timeline. So, for the purposes of this fic the battle at Pellenor fields happens pretty much simultaneously to the attacks on the other places.**

**Disclaimer: I think therefore I am, not affiliated in any way with Tolkien or Lord of the Rings.**

**(I've run out of Chinese proverbs so from now on the proverbs will be simply humorous comments on life)**

**Chapter Proverb: If you think things can't get any worse, you have no imagination!**

**And now on with the story, I'll be nice and go straight to Anwe's point of view and skip torturing you with cliff-hangers, lol. **

**Anwe`s POV**

**~#~**

The sensation of gradually waking up after a period of unconsciousness was beginning to be very familiar to me. I had to stop myself from groaning in disgust at myself for getting knocked out yet again in case someone mistook it for a groan of pain. I sighed and gradually opened my eyes, expecting to see once again the now painfully familiar carved wood walls of the healing Tallan. Only to gasp in shock when I saw grey stone instead, I sat up suddenly staring frantically around. I saw that I was in a long room, two rows of beds ran down either side of the room and every bed was occupied by a person who was injured in some way, although most of the ones I could see were women. I them became aware of a persistent throbbing in my left leg; I looked down and saw that it had been put into a rough splint. I realised I must have broken it at some point. With that realisation came the memory of exactly what had led up to my unconsciousness.

I looked around even more confused, I knew for a fact that there wasn't a single stone structure in Lothlori'en so I could not be there. The question was where _was_ I and _how_ had I gotten to wherever I was. That it was a stone building narrowed it down a bit, that it was a _grey _stone building ruled out Imladris, as all the stone there was white or pale cream. There were no windows except for a few very narrow slits high up on the walls. I couldn't see anything much out of them but I could see the sky, so that ruled out the caves in Mirkwood. The fact that I could see sky at all and wasn't chained in a dungeon ruled out any of the strongholds held by the enemy so that left Gondor and Helms Deep. (Ithilien didn't count since it wasn't exactly occupied then)

I was still looking around myself quite dazed when the doors opened and a group of people came bustling in. They were carrying a young woman who was dressed as a warrior, she was obviously injured and they brought her to a bed next to mine and lay her down. The group appeared to be made up of a bunch of blonde bearded men with a few tyred looking darker haired women in aprons that I assumed were the nurses. They were obviously very concerned for the injured woman so I assumed that she was somebody important. I kept quiet and tried not to draw attention to myself as there were a lot of other people who needed assistance more than I did and I didn't want to distract the nurses from doing their jobs. I watched quietly as all her visible injuries were washed and dressed and she was made comfortable. While this was going on the blond men, one of the taller ones in particular, were pacing nearby and making nuisances of themselves. They were talking together quietly in a language that I didn't recognise, but from the almost overpowering aroma of horse I guessed that they were from Rohan. With this realisation came the horrible suspicion that I might know who the girl in the bed next to me might be. I realised that if I was right then I would be seeing Aragorn soon, when he came up to the castle to do his healing thing with the Athelas and kingly powers stuff. He would be specifically healing Eowyn of the injuries caused by the Witchking; which could be good or bad for me depending on wether he believed me when I told him it wasn't my fault I was here.

While I waited for Aragorn to arrive I fretted about the people I had left behind. Since I had stepped into the path of a fireball and disappeared they would all believe that I had been vaporised. I hoped that and Orophin didn't get blamed for not stopping me and I desperately hoped that no one else that I knew had been hurt in the battle. When it occurred to me that Glorfindell might have been hurt or even killed it felt for a moment like I was suffocating on the air and I wanted to run straight out to Lothlori'en to check on him. Then I controlled myself and decided that if such an important character had died it would have been mentioned in the books so he had to have survived. All the same he would probably be upset believing I was dead and I felt terribly guilty for making everyone worry again and resolved to get a message sent to tell them that I was fine as soon as it was possible. It was painful to think of Glorfindell believing me to be dead and I didn't want it to go on for a moment longer than necessary.

I must have dozed of because I woke to the sound of voices and movement and turned over to see that Aragorn and the twins busily working over who I assumed to be E`owen. I kept quiet as he worked, not wanting to distract him while he was busy but the healers hovered nearby and as soon as he had finished they converged chattering and pointing towards me and wringing their hands. I saw Aragorn's head snap up and he stared straight at me, obviously the healers had told him I was an elf. He hurried over to me calling the twins and as soon as he came close enough to recognise me in the dim light he stopped still and gaped at me. I gave him a small apologetic wave and he crossed the last of the distance between us and looked down at me. I was surprised when he gave a short laugh'

"You have the worst luck in injuries I have seen in some time lady"

He smiled at me but I could see how worried he was, so I smiled back reassuringly,

"I actually consider myself lucky this time, after all one doesn't expect to wake up after getting hid by a sorcerer's fireball."

I hesitated for a moment then continued,

"Everyone back in Lorie`n will believe I am dead and I don't want them to grieve if they don't have to, would there be a way to send them a message?"

Aragorn shook his head sadly,

"Best that I see to your wounds and leave you to rest now, messages can wait until this is all finished and we know if anyone will survive the coming darkness"

I agreed silently but I still worried, I said hello to my foster brothers and dutifully drank the tea they gave me to put me to sleep so they could properly set my leg, as I settled muzzily back to sleep I saw Aragorn talking to the healers, obviously in his 'I Am King" mode with the posture and expression and I wondered what he was telling them. When I woke up I found out and I decided I would probably kill him if he came back too soon.

**Haldir's POV**

**~#~**

While Glorfindell slept and my brothers kept watch I took it upon myself to inform the lady Galadriel of the most recent tragedy. The walk to her talon was a long one and as exhausted as I was from the battle when I arrived I could barely keep my feet. The lady's attendants brought a stool for me to sit on as well as food and drink while they fetched the lady to see me. When she came her face reflected her confusion and when our eyes met and she read in my mind the news I brought she only became more so. She explained to me that every mind she touched she was connected to, not deeply or even permanently but if she had touched a mind recently she would remain aware of that persons continued existence for almost a year. This meant that if such a person was to die she would be aware of it even if she did not know the cause. It was then that she revealed the source of her confusion and my heart swelled with hope for both of my friends. She had not felt lady Anwe`s death! In fact she could still quite clearly sense her minds continued awareness. The news was glorious, Anwe` lived wherever she was and would surely seek to return to us as soon as possible. I could barely contain myself from running straight back to where I had left Glorfindell and my brothers to tell them the news, however first I begged lady Galadriel to search with her mirror for the lady Anwe`s location so we could find her and bring her home. She agreed readily but commanded me to rest and recover my strength while she searched so that I would be in good health when she was found and able to travel to retrieve her.

I was shocked when I woke to discover that two days had passed and while I was resting Glorfindell had woken and was distressingly unresponsive to anyone who attempted to speak to him. I enquired about lady Galadriel and was told that she was resting but wished to speak to me as soon as she woke. I quickly made my way to the Lady's talan and waited to be announced, her message was brief and to the point. Lady Anwe` was in Gondor and Gondor was under siege, I had permission to take my brothers as guards and bring Glorfindell to Gondor and hopefully to Anwe`.

I immediately set my brothers the task of preparing for the journey and set out myself to bring Glorfindell to himself enough to give him the news that would surely lift his spirit and prevent his fading away. It took a good deal of work as he did not at first acknowledge any words spoken to him, in the end I took him down to the river and tossed him in, the shock of cold brought him to awareness long enough for me to explain to him the source of my hope. He did not believe me of course but the sliver of hope I had introduced to his mind would not allow him to fall back into despair until he had proof that it was untrue and this would have to be enough until we reached Gondor. He was more aware now but still terribly listless and the sadness in his heart was like a physical cloud surrounding him. I helped him pack his gear and prepare Asfaloth for the journey, then I performed the difficult task of packing lady Anwe`s belongings and readying Tiny for the trip. Finally almost four days after we believed her to have died myself, Rumill, Orophin and Glorfindell set out to retrieve lady Anwe` from Gondor.

**Glorfindell's POV**

**~#~**

I am told three days passed before I came back to myself. According to my friends I walked around performing simple daily tasks without acknowledging their existence. It was Haldir that finally brought me to myself in a truly infuriating way, he was fortunate that I was not armed when I came out of the river freezing and furious at him for intruding on my grief. Then he began to speak and I could not at first comprehend what he was saying. The lady Galadriel claimed Anwe` was not dead, that the fireball had instead transported her to Gondor rather than burning her to dust as had appeared to happen. I could not believe it, it had to be a cruel joke to raise my hopes and then destroy me again later. But Haldir seemed so sincere and he was preparing to journey to Gondor and begged me to accompany him. I agreed if only to get away from the place where there were so many memories.

Haldir helped me pack then left me waiting in a clearing while he went to collect his brothers. After a short time lady Galadriel joined me, she spoke to me quietly and reassuringly explaining why she was so certain that Anwe` was alive, She sat with me and sang quietly until I fell asleep. I don't know how long I slept but I woke more refreshed than I had felt in days. Someone had come while I slept leaving a plate of food and a goblet of wine so I ate and drank and waited suddenly impatient to be gone and furious at Haldir for taking so long to prepare. Fortunately it was only a short time later that Haldir and his brothers arrived, finally everyone was ready to leave and I could not help the surg of hope in my heart that I might soon see lady Anwe` once again.


	28. This is where the romance starts,,,

** Chapter 29 **

**Hey look, aren't I great! I didn't wait a whole year to update this time, ^_^**

**Sorry about the wait everyone, all I can say is two weddings (an uncle and a cousin), complications with a pregnancy (my sister in law), a grandmother with meniairs disease (kind of like alsimers but with dizziness and nausea as well), UNI assessments and temporary parenthood of teenagers while my mum was in Perth for two months taking care of my sister in law and her new baby, and now suddenly sharing a house with my toddler nephew, added to all the shit that was already going on,,,, well, be happy I'm updating at all people.**

**In better news I am having awesome fun in UNI at the moment, three units and two of my major assessments are writing and illustrating a picture book and writing a 3000 word original short story,,, and that's the part that's supposed to be work, lol ^_^**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it so nya, (pokes out tongue) but I do own my picture book and you can't have it, (blows raspberry)**

**Chapter quote**_**: If everything is going according to plan, you've missed something.**_

**~Anwe`s pov~**

It seemed that Aragorn had informed the healers and through them almost everyone in the stronghold, that I was his sister. Since the healers through watching him heal people with the Athelas plant and the rest of the fun things that had happened during the battle had a very good idea that he was the king come back to Gondor I was being treated like some kind of princess. Normally this would have been annoying but bearable and maybe interesting. However being carried about on a chair with my leg in a splint when the men carrying me should have been resting, being fed fresh fruit when I knew food was short and people were starving, being constantly attended by healers when I knew that down in the main city people were sick and dying and sleeping in the a lavish bedchamber with velvet drapes and a feather bed when I knew people were sleeping in the streets after their homes had been destroyed in the siege made me feel terrible. Whenever I could I sent whichever healer was with me down into the city to help where she could and sent what food I could with her to share out. I also categorically refused to be carried about after the first couple of days and demanded crutches to walk with and told the soldiers who had been assigned to me to go and sleep for goodness sake and then go and help where they could do some good. When I finally got some time to myself I went back down to the healers building ad asked what I could do to help while sitting down. The ladies were horrified at first but when I insisted they set me to tearing bandages and chopping herbs on a board on my knees. While I was there I met up with Eowe`n, who seemed to me to be displaying classic signs of depression, luckily the noble fellow who kept visiting her seemed to be doing a fairly good job of pulling her out of it. I remembered vaguely that he was a prince of somewhere or other, something to do with swans I think. She seemed nice enough despite the depression but a bit too preoccupied with her own loss at the moment to be good company so I left her to her own devises. The other major reason for me to hide out in the healing rooms was the other nobles. There were a whole heap of nobles in the city after the siege, allies who had come to help out and been injured and were now staying to recover and help clean up and rebuild. Now all these nobles had herd the news about Aragorn and were anxiously awaiting his return, hearing rumours that the king's sister was in the city made them all want to meet me. I had sworn all the healers to secrecy about where I was hiding during the day and informed the two guards who insisted on following me around and guarding my rooms that I did not want to see any of the noblemen who kept asking after me in the hope of meeting me. They were most effective in discouraging unwanted visitors and always informed me of who had tried to get to me on any given day. They were very determined to stay with me as well; I was pretty sure one of them was one of Aragorn's rangers which would explain him being so determined to stick with me he must have been ordered to. He was a tall thin dark haired fellow, named Saedd and since he carried a longbow and a couple of knives without a sword I figured that the bow must be his specialty. He didn't talk a lot but he would do a little half smile thing every time I had the pair of them help me sneak down to the infirmary so I wouldn't be smothered by noblemen who only wanted to talk to me because I was supposedly the king's sister that made me think that maybe he didn't mind his job so much. The other fellow was one of the royal guards, he had the silver tree tunic and he sometimes wore the funny winged helmet thing as well. His name was Glenovan and he was the more talkative of the two. He explained to me that he was the younger son of a minor nobleman and he had chosen the military as a career because he couldn't bare the thought of going into politics like his elder brother and it gave him a great many opportunities for travel and adventure than any other. However his skill had earned him a high rank guarding the steward and while it was a great honour it was also rather boring. It seemed guarding the new kings sister was just as big an honour and according to Glenovan a great deal more interesting.

After about a week of waiting tensely I was beginning to get a little worried, I wasn't sure exactly how long I had left before Frodo got to mount doom and did the deed of destroying the ring but I knew it wouldn't be long and I was worried that something I had done might have changed what was supposed to happen. I tried to distract myself with working in the infirmary and walking in the gardens. My leg was healing fast and while I was still in the splint I had graduated from crutches to a walking stick and it definitely didn't hurt nearly as much any more. It was only a couple of days later that we saw the lights of a volcano erupting in the distance and heard the thunder of the explosions. By morning the sky had cleared and there was a great deal of speculation about what might have happened. I breathed a sigh of relief, even if anything else had changed because of my presence the ring had been destroyed and I could rest easy about that at least.

The day after the explosions and light show I was sitting in the infirmary as usual, chopping herbs this time. Saedd was standing near me and Glenovan was standing outside keeping watch in case of nobles while I worked. There came a sudden commotion from the direction of the gates, evidently someone important had arrived and was making their way up the levels. I asked Glenovan to go and look in case it was Aragorn returning and he set of at a run to find out who the fuss was about. What he told me had me running for the gate like my life depended on it, a group of elves had arrived he told me, all tall and blonde but the tallest one road a white horse wearing bells and they led the largest warhorse he had ever seen. It could only be Glorfindell, and probably Haldir and Rumill and Orophin as well.

I ran, I forgot my walking stick, I forgot the splint, I forgot that I was hiding from nobles, I just ran to meet them. I was so glad that he was alive that I could hardly breathe, and by the time I reached the gate I had tripped down stairs at least three times, my hair was a mess and my leg was beginning to throb. But when I saw him standing by the gate, looking pale and rumpled like he had ridden all the way from Lorie`n without stopping I couldn't seem to move for a moment. He must have heard something because he turned and caught my eyes across the courtyard. I couldn't help myself, I grinned like a loon at him and I was pretty sure I was crying at the same time. He seemed to almost not believe what he was seeing for a moment then he shouted my name and came running towards me, sweeping nobles and guards out of his path as he came. I ran as well dodging bodies in my way and when I reached him and he swept me up into a fantastically tight hug I couldn't help bursting into tears of relief as he held me tight and murmured elvish words at me that I didn't understand. He was here and he was alive and in that moment that was all that mattered to me. I didn't even once think about what might have happened to the twins.

**~Glorfindell's pov~**

We rode for Gondor with as few stops as possible, riding day and night only stopping when it was necessary to feed and water the horses. It was not an easy ride; the closer we drew to our destination the more frequently we encountered roving bands of orcs, fleeing the battle at the white city. We avoided them when we could and the few battles we did engage in were short and bloody but resulted in no injuries. I am not sure how many days we rode for; I was told later that it was almost a week. Time had no meaning for me during those terrible days and I moved through them as though in a thick fog. I knew my friends worried for me but it seemed like too much effort to try and reassure them. I had energy only for one purpose, to ride to the white city and find out for certain if the lady Anwe` still lived. I could hardly credit that I had not noticed my growing affection for her until she had been so brutally torn from me. I had valued her friendship deeply but I had not realised that my affection had grown into love until her apparent death had left such a gaping hole in my spirit that it left me feeling utterly empty and alone. As I road I didn't dare to hope that she might return my feelings, the thousand prayers I sent to the Valar were that this impossible hope be true and that we would find her alive when we reached our destination.

When we finally reached the gates of the white city it was nearing midday and there were workers clearing the streets of the debris of battle and builders well at work repairing buildings. We began to work our way upwards and at each level we asked for word of lady Anwe` or of any Elven lady that may have arrived in the city. However we got no hopeful news until we reached the higher levels. Estelle, going by the name of Aragorn, had found an Elven lady amongst the injured and had declared her to be his foster sister, demanding that she be treated with the greatest respect. He had even left one of his rangers to guard her and ordered the palace guard to appoint a guard as well to see to her safety in his absence. We were told she had rooms on the royal level but that she had not been seen outside of the infirmary since the rumours had started and so it was speculated that she was deathly ill. We headed for the infirmary at speed, at the gate the guards demanded that we leave the horses and proceed on foot, however Tiny objected to this and we were delayed trying to get him to stay where he was meant to. Our strangeness drew quite a crowd and it was clear as more and more people came out to stare at us that the rumour mill was working overtime.

There was a sudden commotion at the foot of a set of stairs leading to the infirmary building, I glanced around, expecting to see yet more nobles coming out to gawk at and delay us. Instead I saw the most glorious sight imaginable. Lady Anwe` stood at the foot of the stars, she had obviously run to meet us; her dark hair was in disarray, her skirts liberally smudged with dust and her cheeks flushed with exertion. She was looking directly at me and smiling with such radiant joy I could not contain my reaction. I swept aside guards and bystanders alike as I rushed towards her, watching as she dodged around the people blocking her path. I may have called her name; I have no clear recollection of those few moments until I reached her. It felt like an eternity but finally our paths met and I swept her up into a crushing embrace. She buried her face into the groove between my neck and shoulder and grabbed handfuls of my tunic clinging to me as fiercely as I was to her laughing with joy even as her tears soaked the collar of my tunic. I'm not sure how long I stood there holding her, swaying slightly and muttering nonsense endearments to her in an elvish dialect that she had not yet learned and so could not possibly understand. But I realised after a time that she was speaking as well. Her words had me hold her even more fiercely and murmuring reassurances, even though I realised suddenly that I was holing her quite a way of the ground and it might be uncomfortable for her. She had spent the last week afraid that I had been killed in the battle; her story of the future made no mention of me after the battle so she had no guarantee that I would survive. Having been sent away by the sorceresses spell before the end of the battle she had no way of knowing that I was completely without injury until I received the terrible blow of believing her to be dead.

She had still made no move to release me and I myself was in no hurry to let her leave my arms. However it had to be uncomfortable for her to be dangling in the air from where I held her so I moved over to the stairs and without releasing my hold on her set her on a high enough step that she could lean comfortably on my shoulder without my having to bend over her. Keeping one arm firmly around her waist I reached up and gently stroked her hair. The action made her look up at me and my breath caught to see her smiling radiantly at me with tears still soaking her eyelashes and rolling down her cheeks. I reached up with my free hand and brushed the tears away, when she leaned her head trustingly against my palm I could no longer contain the impulse, cupping her cheek gently in my hand I leant down and I kissed her.

**Wow, cool, I haven't lost my touch for evil cliffys, ^_^**

**Just a quick shout out to those who reviewed the last chapter,**

**Gollykins**

**The Fluffy Muffin Queen**

**LadyHeron**

**Lady Akyrial**

**Valinor's Twilight**

**PriestessHelene**

**Your awesomeness is beyond belief and I hope to hear from you this chapter as well.**


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